


No sweeter innocence

by IndisputablyTrashy (blackbirbs)



Category: Homestuck
Genre: (I guess? I mean - in Dave's case idk), Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - No Sburb Session, An AU where in John is a church pianist and Dave is a choir singer, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bullying, But a cute potato nonetheless, Dave is a socially awkward potato, Fluff and Angst, Foster Care, Homophobia, Homophobic Language, Hurt/Comfort, It'll all turn out okay I promise, M/M, Self-Harm, Slight Religious Themes, Slow Build, Suicidal Thoughts, physical and verbal abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-27
Updated: 2016-09-12
Packaged: 2018-06-04 20:55:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 18
Words: 63,343
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6675160
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blackbirbs/pseuds/IndisputablyTrashy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <em>"No masters or kings when the ritual begins,</em>
  <br/>
  <em>There is no sweeter innocence than our gentle sin"</em>
</p><hr/><p>It's not really that hard to love a person.</p><p>It's just is if the person is the same sex as you. And if you live in Texas. And if your foster mother is a homophobic Christian.<br/>You can't love him. You can't love John Egbert. Not now, not <em>ever</em>.</p><p>Can't you?</p><p>[Or: In which John and Dave met in a church, shit happens and they fall in love. Dave's sorta hesitant at first because he's always been told that being gay is 'wrong' and a 'sin'. But John will eventually teach him that loving someone could <em>never ever</em> be something wrong.]</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Take Me To Church

**Author's Note:**

> This is an AU that's inspired by the song 'Take Me To Church' by Hozier. Expect angst, homophobia, slight religious themes, and an eventual happy ending. I hope you enjoy :)
> 
> PS: The P.O.V. will shift alternately between John and Dave by each chapter

Dear mom,

Hey, mom! It's me, John. I guess it's that wonderful time of the month where I write you a letter. So here I am now, writing you the nth letter I've written just for you.

So anyway, I've got some great news! Dad decided that we're going to move to Texas because of the promotion he got on his job. Yeah, we just arrived yesterday. We're still living in a normal suburb, just like in Washington. But the house dad brought is bigger than our old house, since he has lots of money now. We're supposed to be unpacking our stuff now. But I'm still too lazy to unpack my stuff, I'm still jetlagged from the flight hehehehehe :P

You must be really happy for him and his promotion because I kinda am too! I was super looking forward to moving. I mean - I'm kinda sad because I left my old school and old friends there at Washington. But my excitement is off the charts! I can't wait for my new life that I'll be forming here in Texas. New school, new friends, new house, new surroundings, new neighbors, new memories, new opportunities, new everything! The possibilities are endless and I am totally hyped! Just imagine the new people I'll meet there. I hope they'll be interesting and cool!

I am also planning on becoming a pianist in a nearby local church. I just saw a flyer about it downtown. So I guess I'll be signing up because again - opportunities! And besides, it's a great way to improve my piano skills. I'm still pursuing on having a career as a musical composer, so there's that. Dad's been a supportive as ever, I love him so much!

I love you too, mom. Always.

Sincerely,  
Your loving son, John

* * *

You never really were the super religious kind of guy. It just so happens that you and your father are faithful enough to go to church every Sunday. You admit, it's not that boring when you go to church. You still enjoy listening to masses. You still enjoy the teachings of moral virtues. But most especially, you really enjoy listening to the choir.

The amplified guitar was now playing the introduction of the offertory song. Second later, the magnificent voices of the choir members joined in. You really like music. You mean - who doesn't? Certainly not you, that's why you're applying as a pianist in the church. You liked the idea of making music just by pressing some keys. And you definitely also like people who make wonderful music by using only their voice.

And it just so happens that you noticed _him_.

Most of the choir members were adults. About early and mid-20s, but one person that caught your attention was the guy about your age. He's probably the youngest in the group. You can't help but stare at him in awe.

Fortunately, you and your dad had sat on a spot that's near the choir. So you had a perfect sight of him singing. You also noticed the distinguishing features that he had.

Much like the rest of the members, the boy was wearing a white robe as a sign that he was part of the choir. He had soft (probably) blond hair that framed his head and face. He has the palest skin you've ever seen here in Texas. He had appealing reddish brown eyes. His jaw bone was sharp and angular. Nose pointed if not slightly crooked. An amount of freckles splayed on his nose and cheeks. His face was downright _angelic_.

Not to mention, his _voice_.

His voice was rich, soothing, and perfectly choir material. His voice overpowered the voices of the other members. It's strong and has wonderful timbre. He sings the tenor notes of the offering song with uttermost talent.

You took a deep breath, this boy was absolutely amazing.

Within an instance, you're now determined to get to know this boy more.

Half an hour later, the mass had officially ended. You decided that this was now the perfect time to search for the interesting choir singer. And also finally apply for the pianist position. You've never been more thrilled in applying as a pianist. Because that means you'd get to see the boy more if you're the choir's official pianist right?

You turned towards your dad, who was now talking to a handful of people you don't know. Your dad's probably already making good friends from the church. Just like he did with your new neighbors. He's friendly as always.

"Hey, dad." you called out.

"Yes, son?" he quickly responded and faced towards you, turning away from the group of people he's talking to.

"I'm now gonna apply for the spot as the choir pianist. Remember that? Yeah, I'll search for the 'choir and music manager', the one the flyer said to contact and talk to." you said.

"Sure, son." you dad agreed with a warm smile. He then pulled you into a hug, despite your protest. "Always remember that I'm so, _so_  proud of you." your dad said, still hugging you.

You immediately broke the hug, face pink because of embarrassment. You really love your dad, but sometimes he's just too affectionate for his own good. Though you can't really blame him.

After all, you're all that's left for him.

Thinking that you should give him a little more credit, you smiled at him. "Yeah, thanks for the support, dad. I appreciate it. Feel free to go home and not wait for me, it might take a little longer. Bye, dad!"

You gave him a wave, then he waved back before returning to chat to the adults he's talking to. After that, you're off to find the mystery choir guy.

* * *

In the end, you didn't find him. It's like - he just disappeared out of thin air. You checked for a guy your age, blond and wearing a robe. But he's nowhere to be found. Disappointed, you decided that you'll just finally sign up for the position as a pianist.

You ended up getting lost in the back parts of the church. After an amount of time spent on asking for directions, you eventually found the room you were looking for. You took a deep breath as you stood there in front of the door. A sign that read 'Choir and Music Manager' just at your eye level.

You readied yourself and made yourself look presentable. You straightened your t-shirt and fixed your hair (although it still looks like shit). You finally knocked at the door, using your knuckles to do so. Then you heard a voice.

"Come in," it said.

As you entered the room slowly, sunlight passing through the window blinds welcomed you. The air condition was on, therefore, it's chilly and relaxing.

You saw a woman sitting in front of the desk. She was around mid-40s. With long and wavy, black hair and a smile so wide that it can almost be called as 'predatory'. Her make-up and clothes are mostly fuschia colored. She also wore a lot of jewelry. You straightaway recognized her, she was the lady that served as conductor for the choir.

You let out a nervous smile. "Hey, I - um... I'm sorry if I just came here now and not sooner. My father and I still need to unpack our stuff. Uh, I'm here for the pianist application."

She nodded in understanding. "Oh yes, I've been waiting for you. So you must be John Egbert?"

You also nodded in return. "Uh, yes. I heard you were in need of a pianist for the choir, I'd be glad to help. I'm currently seventeen years old. I know, I'm kinda young. But I could promise you that I have quite the skill. I can read sheet music, I can even improvise or do impromptu if I want to."

"Hmm, I see. Well that's good," she said, her grin widening. You gulped, slightly tensed. "Also, I don't really mind that you're still a teenager. I'm sure you'll do just fine. Well then, John, since I trust your own judgment, you're accepted. You'll start next Sunday."

You sighed in relief. Thank goodness, that was fast. "I see. Thank you, miss..." you stopped on your tracks, realizing that you don't know her name.

"Peixes." she finished for you. Then added: "But you can call me ma'am Candace."

"Oh, okay. Thanks, ma'am Candace," you answered awkwardly.

She leaned forward, letting her arms rest on her desk. She examined you curiously and you can't help but feel uncomfortable. "So you're new here? You just moved?"

"Yes, ma'am. My dad and I just moved here in Texas. Mainly, because of his work. I'll start school next week." you explained.

"Oh, and your mother?" she further questioned. You let out a sharp breath. It's a really sensitive subject for you and your father. But you answered anyway, for the sole purpose of not being rude.

"She died in a car crash when I was fourteen." you replied in a whisper.

Ma'am Candace merely apologized for your loss. You shrugged, saying that it's alright. It's not like the apology of people you say that to will bring her back.

"So anyway, going back. Since you're our newest member, I'll let David give you a tour around the church." she stood up, walked to the door pass you. She opened the door and called for someone, presumably 'David'.

You were about to follow her but seconds later, a boy around your age showed up at the door. You stopped in your tracks.

Holy shit, it's _him_.

The guy that has the very nice voice. It's him, it's him, it's him! You're officially meeting him! This has to be the luckiest day of your life. You can't help the excitement bursting through your entire body. You smiled brightly at him.

Despite your giddiness, the boy - or should you say David - merely looked at you in stoicism. His pale and soft-looking lips were put in a tight line. Wow, he's even more good-looking up close.

"John, this is David. He's one of the choir members and my son." Ma'am Candace gestured him. She then turned towards him. "David, this John. He's the new pianist. Why don't you give John a tour around the church, hmm?" she asked - actually, it's more of a command.

Dave only gave a curt nod. You frowned a little, you guess he's the quiet and serious type of guy. Man, you already think that this tour will be super awkward.

"Okay, well that's settled then! Hurry along now, boys. John, you could go home after you finished the tour. That's all, bye!" The woman somewhat hurriedly urged you out of her office, then waved goodbye. Before you could even wave back, she closed the door.

You let out a small sigh and turned towards the boy. You noticed that he's shorter than you by two to three inches. Weird, he's now wearing black aviator shades that covered his eyes and half of his face. Damn, you really wanted to see his eyes up close.

Instead of a white robe, he was now wearing simple jeans and a simple white baseball shirt with red sleeves. A record broken in half resembled as it's main design. Seriously, though, how does he survive with this kind of climate here?

The boy let out a quiet chuckle, you realized that you said that question out loud. You immediately felt embarrassed for yourself.

"Because I'm used to the heat," he answered. And holy fuck his voice was _so_  nice, just as nice when he's singing. You could literally listen to it all day.

Wait, no.

Realizing these things you're thinking, you facepalmed mentally. You cursed under your breath. Ugh, why do you have to be so goddamn gay? Better keep your thoughts all to yourself.

A little while later, David spoke up. "Now come on, you've got a tour to attend to." he motioned you to follow him. You did.

The tour was brief but very much helpful. He pointed towards the different rooms. And he gave short explanations on who goes inside, when could you only go inside, what would you do if you went inside it.

You think, he's really, _really_ quiet. He rarely changes his expression, it's just weird. It's like - he's some sort of a ~~good-looking~~ robot.

The tour ended once you've reached the outside of the church. You thanked him promptly, smiling at him. He replied with a quick 'no problem', it was so quick that it's as if he was trying to get away from you. You frowned as he almost hurriedly strolled away from you.

You decided that you're not letting him away that soon. You immediately grabbed the opportunity of getting to know this guy better. So you followed him with equal speed. Seconds later, you caught up to him.

He seemed surprised when he noticed you beside him. You spoke, still walking fast alongside him. "So, David - "

"Dave." he interrupted.

"What?"

"Call me Dave," Dave said firmly. As if saying that it's final. Okay, you could deal with that.

"Okay? So, Dave, do tell me why are you in a hurry?" you questioned.

"Because I'm in a hurry."

"That's not actually a reason, dude." you retorted.

He scoffed. But then stopped walking to face you, giving you a puzzled look."What do you want anyway?" he asked, irritated.

"Because I want to get to know you more? I mean - after all, you're the first person I've talked to in this town that's my age. We just moved here, I'm trying to make friends." you explained. His face then turned into a grimace.

"Trust me, you wouldn't want to be 'friends' with me." he warned, his voice tight.

"And why not?" you glanced down at him, you could see his hands balling into fists.

"Because I'm not really the 'friend' material," he grumbled. You almost laughed.

"Dude, you look pretty friendly to me. Interesting, even," you reassured with a grin. "Miss Candace said you're a member of the choir?"

The moment he saw your grin, he let out an exasperated sigh but relaxed afterward. You guessed that he's giving you a chance on befriending him, _hell yes_. 

He answered. "Well, yeah. Although I'm not really great at singing."

"Psssh, I don't believe it. Not even the slightest bit. I heard you on mass, you were pretty great." he blushed a bit because of the complement. "I mean - you literally have the choir and music manager as your mom - "

"Foster mom," he interjected again.

"Foster mom?" you repeated. Huh, so maybe that's why they don't really have the resemblance?

"Yes, foster mom. Candace just somewhat forced me to join the church choir... Though I'm not comfortable in performing in front of a lot of people. Even if there's a lot of people I get to perform with." he shrugged, as if there's nothing he could do.

Strange, he doesn't call Candace, his foster mom, 'mom'. But you immediately shrugged the thought off.

So instead, you tried to motivate him. "Come on, dude, there's no need to be nervous in singing in public. I mean - if you really have the talent, then why not let the world see it?"

He shifted a little. "Like I said, I'm not really good."

"Bullshit, you - "

"Look, I'm sorry that I have to cut this conversation short. But I have to go... Candace probably needs me or something. I'll see you around." he elucidated in a hurry, just like that time when the tour ended.

You quickly frowned. You don't want to be rude and force him to say. But at the same time, you don't want this to be your last and only interaction. Just as he was about to jog away from you again, you grabbed his hand to stop him. Funny, you weren't really aiming for his hand. Your own hand just kinda did it.

"Wait!" you exclaimed. "Look, you seem like a pretty cool and interesting guy. And I certainly don't want this to be our only conversation. So maybe, by any chance, do you want to hang out sometime?" you proposed.

Dave was silent. You could feel his eyes boring at you, then he tilted his head down to look at where your hand was residing. His face went pink. "I - what."

Your eyes widened. Shit, you two were fucking _holding hands_. You immediately let go of his hand, hoping that Dave isn't weirded or creeped out by your gayness. Ugh, why do you have to be so stupid?

"Gosh, I'm so sorry!" you suddenly apologized, also feeling the blush crept through your face. "God, I'm such an idiot. Great, now we could _never_ be friends. I'm sorry, that was really weird. I - "

"Dude, stop panicking. S'fine." Dave mumbled, putting his hand (the one you held) awkwardly at his side.

"You sure?" you asked.

"Yeah, one hundred percent," he confirmed with a smirk. You sigh in relief, thank goodness. After that, he changed the subject. "So, about your proposal..."

"Oh, yeah," you remembered. "So as I was saying, how about we hang out sometime. But before that, let's actually start with - um... Pesterchum. Do you have a Pesterchum account?"

Dave nodded. "Yeah, it's 'turntechGodhead'."

You smiled. Yes, Dave's giving you a chance on befriending him."Sweet! I'll chat with you later. Mine's 'ectoBiologist' by the way."

"Right, I'll see you 'round, John," he said. He finally trudged away - this time, you let him - and he gave a short wave. You waved back as you smiled happily to yourself.

You have a feeling that your stay here in Texas is going to be fucking amazing.


	2. Love Like You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _"If I could begin to be,_   
>  _Half of what you think of me,_   
>  _I could do about anything,_   
>  _I could even learn how to love"_
> 
> * * *
> 
> In which we get to see Dave's life under the care of his foster mom.  
> But it's not really 'care', to be honest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, guys. So here's the second chap for No Sweeter Innocence. I hope you guys enjoy :)

It's been roughly four days since you last talked to that John kid. Not that you've been counting or taking note.

No frequent encounters, not even a message on Pesterchum.

But it's just so weird. _He's_  so weird. How the fuck could he even approach another guy with such boldness, bluntness, and straightforwardness. Does he even know that it's so fucking weird, being able to be that close and almost _affectionate_  with another guy? Not to mention, a guy he barely even knows.

Most times, you merely shrugged it off. You guess it's just his way of being nice. But seriously, he doesn't even know the meaning of the word 'boundaries'. 

Sometimes you think to yourself, he can't be _that_  kind to everyone he just meets. Can't he?

Again, shrugging it off, you just decided to drop it and focus on the matter at hand. Just another day at the convenience store. Today's Thursday. Which means tomorrow's Friday, thank goodness. Friday means weekends. Weekend means no school. No school means no asshole schoolmates. No asshole schoolmates mean _absolute peace_.

But then again, Friday also means staying at home. And staying at home means serving for Candace. Serving for Candace means errands, chores, and more errands.

Just like today's errand. Which brings you here now, to the matter at hand.

You're currently at the convenience store, obviously shopping for home necessities. ~~Because Candace says that she's always busy to do so. When in reality, she's just lazy as ever.~~   It's not really that much hard of a task, you actually like the idea of going outside and being free to do as you want.

You just really hate the fact that you can't fucking see the writings on the paper Candace has provided for you. It's a 'list' of things that needed to be brought. You really fucking hate your shitty eyesight. Then add the darker vision provided by your shades.

Not that your complaining about your shades. You love wearing your shades rather than your contacts. But Candace always forces you to wear contacts. She always insists on wearing them because your eyes still need 'exposure' to light. But to be honest, it only makes things so much worse. Your eyes don't need more exposure to the sun if it's already that blind. Wearing contacts give you headaches and migraines.

Grumbling to yourself, you just accepted your inevitable pain. You read the things on the list as thoroughly as you can. A half an hour later, you successfully obtained all the needed supplies on the list.

The queue by the cashier wasn't that long. Since there weren't so many people in the convenience store. As you handed out the items to the cashier, she offered a smile at you. She's already known you pretty well, by looks and by name, you being a constant errand runner. You gave a small smile in return.

Now a while later, she finished up all your items. You paid her with the money Candace gave and she handed you the receipt. You then quietly thanked her while she replied with a 'have a nice day.'

Haha, yeah right.

The bagger passed the paper bags of your newly bought items. The bags weren't really that light, but you can still manage. You immediately frowned as you realized that there are three bags. But your lifting capacity was only limited to two.

Huh. For some sort of reason, Candace made you bought a whole lot more supplies this week. Boy, she did know how to make your life more tiring and miserable.

You faced the nice female cashier to let you do a favor and watch the lone bag as you take the first two back at the house. But just when you were about to call her, you heard a sudden voice.

"Need any help?"

And you instantly knew just whose voice does it belong to.

You turned around to face John, all buckteeth grins, and niceness. His smile ever plastered on his face as always. You rolled your eyes, of course, he'd be nice to you.

"Aren't you going to do something? You are, after all, in the convenience store. Surely, you'll buy something. I wouldn't want to be an _inconvenience_." you replied, pun intended, of course. Not really accepting his offer but not really rejecting it either.

John gave a nonchalant shrug, chuckling. "Eh, the thing I'm gonna buy is only small. I could like - stick it in my pocket or something. I could still carry your last bag. Also, nice pun."

You sighed. Welp, you guessed there's nothing you can do about it. "Fine. I'll wait for you outside."

He gave you a toothy grin. Wow, does this guy even get tired of smiling. His facial muscles must be so sore because of that.  "Okay, cool!" he jumpily said. "I'll be back in a few."

Five minutes later, John showed up outside the store. He shoved whatever thing he bought in his pocket and briskly swooped your last bag in his arms. John flashed you a smile (as always). "Well, lead the way then."

"Um, dude. Are you sure it's alright?" you questioned, you don't really want to cause trouble for him. "I'm sure I can -"

"Look, Dave, I already told you, it's fine. And besides, I could use the little exercise every once in a while." he retaliated, jogging in place. He actually looked like an over-sized puppy. You hid a snort under your breath. Pfft, what a dork.

"In all honesty, you look like a complete dwe - Hey!" John cut whatever you were about to say when he suddenly snatched one of the bags you were carrying. So now you were stuck with one. You looked at him in slight astonishment as he carried both hefty bags with little effort.

"Dude, I can't have your scrawny ass carrying too many heavy bags." he said as a matter of factly.

"M'not that scrawny," you grumbled. John scoffed, obviously not convinced. "Sure you aren't, you're all skin and bones."

"Hey, I still have a bit of muscle, mind you." you retorted. Okay fine, maybe you're a little too thin. But you're not lying when you said you still have muscle. It just so happens that most of them were stuck in your legs, you weren't really the tough and brawny type of guy. You rely more on speed, agility, and being quick on your feet.

John laughed slightly. ~~You'd be lying if you said that it wasn't cute.~~  "Also, just think of it as payment for helping you. No really, I help you carry two of your heavy grocery bags and I get to exercise. It's a win-win situation, you hear me? I still need to strengthen my muscles because I'm trying out for football this year."

You rolled you eyes, even though he can't see it. "Of course, you do. My, what a dorky jock."

This time, it was John you rolled his eyes at you. "Whatever, dude. Just lead the way to your house."

* * *

You opened the door to your house, motioning John to go inside. He slipped past the doorway and you followed after him. It's not after a while that you called out an 'I'm home' at Candace.

You heard Candace stomping from the living room. You tried so hard not to wince at her cold and irritated stare as she arrived on the hallway. Fuck, she must be mad because you're late. You blamed your shitty eyesight for taking you so long in reading the words on the list.

"And what took you so -" Candace looked like she was about to snap at you (as always) but she relented once she saw your visitor. Her hard stare turned into a sweet smile as she turned to John.

Of course. 

_Of course_ , she suddenly turned all angelic and nice. She really doesn't want to ruin her reputation as the church choir and music manager after all. The only person she's cruel to was _you_.

"Oh my, we have a visitor. You're the new pianist, right?" she said in a sweet voice. Your jaw tightened, how could she be so plastic to others. Always putting up a warm smile and an affectionate glance. And how the hell do people fall for it? You'll never know.

You caught John speaking up next to you politely. "Yes, ma'am. I was just helping Dave carry the grocery bags."

Candace let out a tsk. "I apologize for my son and his behavior. He's known to be very lazy sometimes. I hope it's not too much of a trouble that you have to go all the way to our house, carrying those heavy paper bags. Those paper bags that _David_  should have been carrying." she finished, emphasizing that last part towards you.

Great, now you're in trouble.

John laughed nervously. "I - uh, ma'am, you shouldn't really be angry at Dave. I was the one who insisted on helping him. And no need to worry, it's no bother or anything and I'm glad I could help."

Candace nodded as if she understands (she doesn't) and let out a sigh. "I see. Well, you could just put those bags on the table in the kitchen. After that, you can go. I'm sure you're father must be worried about your current whereabouts."

You inwardly cringed at how her voice sounds _concerned_. You know that she doesn't give a shit about John, or John's dad. Her only concern was getting rid of him so she could make your life a living hell just when no one was watching.

Not that it wasn't a living hell already.

"Oh! Uh - you're right. Crap, I forgot to tell dad that I'm going on a little detour to Dave's house. I'll go right away, ma'am." John agreed, fidgeting. You're almost disappointed that he's leaving too soon.

So much for making friends.

John placed the paper bags he was carrying on your dining table. You do the same, thanking him for the help he's given. He hurriedly made his way towards the door.

But just as he was about to open it, he turned around and asked something to Candace. "Um, ma'am, can I talk to Dave for a moment?"

You honestly surprised, your eyebrows raised at him. Then you looked at Candace, silently asking for her permission to go to John. Your foster mom nodded as she looked at you with a smile, although you could still see the slight strain in it.

"Of course." She granted and you hurried towards John.

By the time you reached the doorway, John gave you a bright yet apologetic smile. "I'm sorry I can't stay that long." he apologized in a whisper. "I forgot my phone back at my house so I can't tell my dad where I am. So I can't really stay because he might get worried. I still want to hang out with you, though, don't worry. Just not today."

He's got to be the nicest person you've ever met. You might just thank every deity in this world for meeting this guy. You smiled a little at him while John's widened a little. "S'alright," you told him.

"We could still chat in Pesterchum!" John then suddenly exclaimed, but he's grin reduced to a sheepish smile. "Although, I forgot what you're handle is."

You rolled you eyes half-heartedly. Of course, he would, what a fucking dweeb.

"It's 'turntechGodhead'," you informed with a small grin. "This time, don't forget."

John chuckled. "Don't worry, I won't." He opened the door, giving you one final wave. "See you when I see you, Dave."

"You too, dude." you waved back.

And then he was gone.

You turned around and saw Candace standing there. Her sweet smile of hers was nowhere to be found. What's engraved on her face was a scowl, eyes burning in irritation.

Shit.

"Come here, boy." Candace motioned you to come closer. Not really wanting to deal with her shit any longer, you complied.

Candace pulled you towards the kitchen, grabbing you by your ear as you yelped in surprise. With all the strength she could muster, she shoved you on the dining table. This caused your hips to harshly meet the edge of the wooden table. Crud, that's probably gonna bruise. 

"Why was that boy just here?" she asked spitefully.

You gritted your teeth, facing her and trying hard to stay polite. Always talk to Candace in eye contact. Always be polite and be respectful to your elders. "He helped me carry the grocery bags." you finally answered.

Candace didn't seem to be convinced. She narrowed her eyes at you. "And you didn't force him into doing it?"

You shook your head, managing to keep a straight face. "No. Like he said, he was the one who insisted on helping."

"And are you sure you didn't just forced him to say _that_ to me as an excuse or a lie? I can't have you being friends with an ill-behaved liar." Candace interrogated, face almost in for a snarl.

Alright, how dare she say that to John, the _nicest_ person you've ever met. You felt anger bubbling through your chest. You shook your head. This time, more vigorously. "Of course, I didn't! And don't you dare talk about Jo - "

_Slap!_

You hissed as the pain bit and spread through your entire cheek. Damn, that hurt like a motherfucker. You're pretty much sure that'll swell for the next few hours.

"Don't talk back to me like that!" she scolded. "I thought I've disciplined you well enough. It seems that I thought wrong." she raised her hand to the back of your head and pulled your hair in a tight grip so that you're looking right up at her. 

"And because of that, I'll give you a small punishment," she smiled maniacally at you. You almost let out a pained groan. Because _ow, fuck_ your scalp was starting to fucking _burn_ from your hair being pulled. 

You almost apologized to her and just let things be. But "Shit," was what came out instead.

This time, Candace really snarled at you. She brought her other hand (the one that's not gripping your hair) to your throat and _squeezed_. Forcing the air out of your windpipe, you choked out as you tried to wiggle out of her vice grip but to no avail.

"Did I tell you that you could speak?" she asked in a commanding tone. You think you're gonna pass out if this continues further.

"Did I?" she screamed at your face, tautening her grasp around your neck. You shook your head, panicking.

You tried and tried to get out of her firm clutch. You realized that your shades were starting to get more and more askew on you face. Seconds later, your precious shades fell on the floor, giving Candace a perfect sight of your eyes.

Of your _red_ eyes.

Your eyes that she hates so much. She glared at you as she saw them. "What did I tell you? I told you to wear your brown contacts so that you don't have to wear your shades anymore. Contacts give more security, it won't fall off as easily as your _stupid sunglasses_. But do you ever obey? No! Of course not, you arrogant swine!"

She finally let go of you, pushing you hard onto the ground. You collapsed, gasping for air. Despite being in a daze, you managed to quickly snatch your glasses off the ground before Candace smashes it to pieces with her foot. With trembling hands, you placed your shades back on the bridge of your nose.

"No dinner for a whole week. That'll be your punishment and that's final. Go to your room. You disgust me, demon." Candace commanded as she storms off the kitchen, finally leaving you all alone.

You don't know how long you were laying there. But you can't find yourself giving a damn because it hurts.

It _hurts_ so, so much.

You let out a weak sob, shakily standing up and running fast upstairs to your room. You instantly locked the door, fearing that she might barge in. You lied on your bed and stared at the ceiling. You let out a shaky breath.

Breathe in, breathe out.

Breathe in, breathe out.

Breathe in, breathe out.

Your fine, everything's fine. Nothing's going to hurt you now, you've locked the doors. Nothing's going to get you. You've had worst from her. She's done worst. You'll get used to it.

You'll get used to it.

You'll get used to it.

Haha, as if. You'll _never_ get used to it.

It's just another normal day at the Peixes residences.

* * *

A notification ping coming from your phone snapped you off your stupor. You've been staring at the ceiling of your bedroom for quite some time now. And based on the darkness coming out of your room, it's been hours since you've laid down there in your bed. Your stomach grumbled in hunger.

You quickly rolled to your side, checking whatever it was that your phone notified. With a raised eyebrow, you saw that you have a new message on your Pesterchum. Clicking the app, you noticed that the new message was from the 'ectoBiologist'.

It's him.

Of course, you recognized the handle. You didn't forget it like he did, you just didn't start to have a chat with him because you're too anxious to do so.

Relief flooded through your entire body. Finally, something that could distract you from your threatening hunger.

\-- ectoBiologist [EB] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG] at 20:01 --

EB: hi, dave!  
EB: uh... it's me, john.  
EB: i told you i won't forget your chumhandle this time.  
EB: also, sorry if i didn't pester soon enough. my dad still made me do chores.  
EB: i hope it's alright with you.  
EB: um, dave?  
EB: are you there?  
TG: sup  
EB: oh, hey!  
EB: i was just wondering if you were ignoring me or something.  
TG: wtf why would i ignore you dude  
TG: im not that mean  
TG: also its alright  
TG: with you being late and everything  
TG: i dont really mind  
EB: phew, thank goodness then! i was worried that youre like - upset or something.  
TG: dont worry dude  
TG: i told you its fine  
EB: hehe, anyway. about my proposal back then, if you'd want to hang out for some time.  
EB: because i'd be really glad to get to know you better.  
TG: im cool with that  
TG: although it depends on my schedule  
EB: you have a schedule?  
TG: uh yes john  
TG: as a matter of fact i do possess a rather very important schedule that must be followed at all times  
EB: ahahahahah, wow. you are such a dork.  
TG: wtf  
TG: am not  
EB: says that guy who has his own 'schedule' to follow.  
TG: shut up  
TG: its not my fault that candace is really strict  
EB: oh, right.  
EB: your foster mom...  
TG: yeah  
TG: what about her  
EB: nothing!  
EB: it's just that - she's really nice, i know. but you know that feeling that she's awfully scary if she's like angry or something.

Oh, you know that feeling, alright. Especially when she's angry at you every single _day_. At sometimes, she gets mad at you for the littlest of things. But you guess she just really hates you.

TG: true  
TG: like man you wouldnt even know  
TG: i guess you could say that its a normal thing for her  
EB: hehe, yeah.  
EB: so anyway, can i ask something?  
TG: shoot  
EB: what school are you currently studying at?  
TG: sburb high  
TG: why  
EB: oh my fucking god!  
EB: im going to be studying at the same school!  
EB: ill be starting tomorrow.  
EB: gosh, im super excited. i hope we have a lot of classes together.  
TG: okay cool  
TG: but seriously  
TG: what kind of dweeb transfers to a school in the middle of the school year and starts attending classes on friday  
TG: friday  
TG: which is like the end of the school week  
TG: cant you just start next week on monday  
EB: shut up! i was supposed to start school this week. but...  
EB: stuff happened.  
TG: right  
EB: hey, it's not my fault that my dad and i were busy unpacking a lot of stuff.  
EB: not to mention that we still needed to settle some shit, like paperwork and other crap.  
EB: and by the time we have finished the settlements, i was super excited to go to school and meet some new friends.  
EB: so i decided not to wait any longer and go tomorrow.  
TG: whatever you say dude  
TG: anyway  
TG: looking forward to seeing you tomorrow  
EB: hehe, me too!  
EB: hell yes, we could totally hang out during breaks.  
TG: totes  
EB: anyway, i need to go. my dad's calling me, probably gonna make me do some chores.  
EB: i'll see you tomorrow, bro.  
EB: bye, have a goodnight!  
TG: likewise

\-- ectobiologist [EB] ceased pestering turntechGodhead [TG] at 20:23 --

You closed the app, smiling a little to yourself. You really like this John guy. He's nice, polite and funny. You think that maybe, _just maybe_ , he could actually be friends with you. You don't have a lot of friends, but adding John on the list would be hella nice.

Curling up to your bundle of bedsheets, you drifted into calming slumber. With dreams of buckteeth and wonderful blue eyes.

It was truly a good night indeed.


	3. Soldier

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _"I'll get it if you need it,_   
>  _I'll search if you don't see it,_   
>  _You're thirsty, I'll be rain,_   
>  _You get hurt, I'll take your pain"_
> 
> * * *
> 
> John's first day of school. A lot of shit happens.

"Okay, Mr. Egbert, here's your class schedule. Your locker and gym locker numbers and their codes. You can ask me anytime if you need anything."

"Oh! I - uh, sure, Ms. Castellano," you smiled at the school secretary, getting the papers from her hands and inspecting it. "Thanks a lot."

"You're welcome," she smiled back. "And since it's your first day in this school. I'll have someone to give you a tour around the school. He's a little quiet, but he's nice enough. I've excused him for his first period, so take your time."

You nodded, ecstatic. Gosh, a new friend already? Hell yes! You're really happy that you started school sooner. "I see, thanks again."

"Okay, you can go now. Mr. Strider is waiting for you outside." 

"Alright, have a nice day," you replied, waving goodbye at her. As she waved back, you made your way to the office door to find your tour guide. You closed the door behind you and you heard a small 'hey' to your left.

You turned towards the source of the voice and to your surprise, it's _him_  giving you the tour once again.

Having Dave as your tour guide was even better than some random student.

"So, Strider's your last name? You don't use 'Peixes'?" you asked before anything. Dave nodded.

"Because it fits me better rather than Peixes." he shrugged, placing his hands on the pockets of his pants. Today, he was wearing an oversized red hoodie that almost engulfed his skinny frame. His traditional aviator shades also placed at the bridge of his nose. 

Mounts of thick cloth covered most of his whole body. You can't help but feel incredulous at his choice of clothing. Like seriously, how could he still manage the Texan heat?

Ignoring those thoughts, you just focused on the matter at hand. "Oh wow, Dave! I can't believe you're my tour guide again," you said, grinning at him excitedly.

Dave shrugged again. "Yeah, there's not much to do in my first period so I volunteered for the job. And the secretary was nice enough to accept my offer. So, shall we start?"

You nodded. "Heck yeah!"

And then the two of your were off to the tour. The tour was brief and short just like the tour on the church. It just so happens that the school's way bigger so it lasted a little longer. He showed you the different classrooms and club rooms. The cafeteria, the football field, the gym, the library, and the faculty room. Little words were said by Dave, just simple descriptions for each room and place.

By the time it ended, Dave showed you to your locker. 'Locker number 413' the small parchment of paper from the secretary said. You entered the code and opened it, dumping most of your stuff in it.

"Thanks for the tour, bro." you thanked with a smile. You're really glad to have him as the person you get to first interact with in this school.

"No problem, dude."

Then you heard the bell ringing, signaling the end of the first period. You saw students get out of the rooms and hurrying to their lockers. You looked at your schedule, you have social studies as your second period.

 Dave must have seen you looking at your class schedule because he spoke up. "So what's your next period?" he asked.

"It's social studies." you answered.

"Sweet," Dave replied with a nod. "The room used for social studies is just near to the room that I'll be going to for the second period. I could take you to your next class if you want."

"Oh, Mr. Strider, oooh. How gentlemanly of you!" You giggled, mimicking a swooning maiden at him.

You heard him chuckle. "Just doing my job, milady." he piped up, fake bowing in front of you.

You let out a small laugh. "Let's just go, you dork."

"Yeah, right. You were the six-footer who swooned for me like a little princess, Eg _dork_." Dave retorted as you both started walking to your next class. When you felt the blush creeping to your face because of the nickname, Dave chuckled again.

"Pffft, wow. You're a real joker, huh, Dave." you pathetically retaliated, rolling your eyes.

He smirked, looking up at you and wiggling his eyebrows. "Let's just say I'm a very _punny_  man."

You half-heartedly shoved him with your broad shoulder. "Oh my god, now that's just terrible."

"Whatever you say, man." he said, continuing to lead to you to the room of your next class.

"Oh, wait. I have a question." you suddenly piped up.

"Shoot."

"Can I still try out for football even though it's literally the middle of the school year?" you questioned.

Meanwhile, Dave merely shrugged. "Beats me, I don't really give the slightest crap about football. Or any sport for the matter."

Your eyes widened at him. "How can you not like sports? Sports are awesome! Do you at least watch it?"

"Nope."

"Why not?" you asked.

You're able to see Dave cringe. "Well, for one. I just don't see the real deal in being interested in a game where all you have to do is follow the ball, get the ball, throw the ball, _whatever_  the ball. I just don't see the point in it."

"But -"

"Not everyone is going to have the same preference as you, John," Dave said, shrugging once more. "But to help you with your problem, you could always ask the football team's coach. Or the team's captain. They practice every time on the field during lunch and free times, and after school hours. Maybe you could talk them later."

"Oh, thanks then!" you said, nodding. Minutes later, you realized that you have reached your destination when Dave motioned you in front of the door. Smiling, you thanked Dave again as he nodded at you and turned to walk away from you. But before he leaves you to go to his class, you shouted out a 'wait' at him.

He glanced back at you, raising a questioning eyebrow. "Yeah?"

"See you at lunch," you said, beaming

You see him smile a little, you felt giddy within an instant. "Sure, dude."

Hell yes, this is going to be awesome.

* * *

Hours passed and the school bell rang around the entire school. Lunch time.

So far, you've got three subjects that you share with Dave. And in those three classes, you instantly sat beside him once you saw him waving at you.

But of course, you've made acquaintances with other people too if you don't share a class with Dave. You've became acquainted with approximately four people now. 

One was a nice, cheerful (but also a little weird) girl with long wavy black hair named Aradia. With her was this guy with a lisp and heterochromatic eyes named Sollux. Next was a punk girl with cerulean blue eyes and piercings on her eyebrow named Vriska. And last was this grumpy dude with ginger hair and a scowl plastered on his face whose name was Karkat.

All of them were pretty fun to talk to. Well, actually Aradia and Vriska were. Sollux didn't pay much attention to you while Karkat was... Well, he's always shouting at you.

Sighing to yourself, you immediately went to the school's cafeteria to grab some _grub_. Hehe, joke intended, of course. 

You got your lunch from the lunch ladies. After that, you searched for any sign of platinum blond hair and black aviator shades. Seconds later, you immediately spotted him.

Bingo.

You moved towards the table Dave was sitting on and you noticed that he's not alone.

" _Karkat?_ " you called out, gaping.

The two of them turned their heads to look at you. Karkat's eyes widened when he caught sight of you. This had contrasted to Dave's poker face (but you could still see his lips twitching upward).

"Oh my fucking god. Ah,  _shit_. Turn away, Dave, I definitely don't know this guy." Karkat hastily hissed at Dave, tugging the sleeves of his hoodie to make him turn away too.

You just rolled your eyes at Karkat's antics and sat beside Dave. "Hey, Dave!" you greeted cheerily.

Dave nodded at you, making Karkat gape like a fish. "'Sup."

"Woah, woah, woah." Karkat butted in, staring incredulously at the blond. "Now wait just a motherfucking second here, you know _this guy_?"

"Yep," Dave answered. "Anything wrong with that?"

"And since when do you actually talk to other people besides me?" Karkat asked, giving him a questioning look. Dave merely shrugged, playing with his food.

In return, Karkat scoffed. "I can't fucking believe it. Dave motherfucking Strider, of all people, having people as _friends_  who isn't _me_. I can't believe that I will live to see this day. So what's your secret, Strider? Did you flipping sold your soul to the devil to possess actual social skills?"

Dave rolled his eyes (or well, at least you think he did) at Karkat. "No, Karkat, there's just this thing called being nice to someone. You should try it some time, dude. Maybe for once, you'd have other friends who are _not_   _me_ too. Remember, I'm not the only one who is socially dysfunctional in this friendship."

"Well, at least I have a fucking girlfriend, asshole." Karkat spat. "And you? You have no one in your sad, lonely life."

Dave was about to retort which will only make their banter longer. Not wanting to put up with their shit, you interrupted.

"Which is why _I'm_ here. So that Dave will no longer have a lonely life. We wouldn't want him to be forever alone now, can we? Now will the two of you please stop. I just want to eat my food and have a casual chat here."

The two stopped, looking at you. Seconds later, they established a silent truce between them. Then the three of you continued on eating lunch. After minutes of quietness, all three of you finally finished eating. Dave then turned to look at you. "So are you going to ask the football team now?"

"Yep," you nodded. "Say, could you go with me to the football field and ask the team?"

Dave straightaway tensed at your request. You also saw Karkat going rigid. You found yourself frowning at the two of them. "Did I said something wrong?"

Dave was silent, still tense as hell. Karkat answered for him, looking at you with a cautious look. "Let's just say that Dave doesn't really associate with the football team. Or to anyone for that matter. To be honest, I'm fucking surprised that you two know each other. Dave isn't the type of person who socializes with other people."

You shrugged, feeling slightly disappointed. You really want to hang out with Dave for the free time. You turned to him and asked. "Is it alright with you? I could go alone if you don't want to, it's fine."

Dave pursed his lips before answering. "No, I'll go with you. There's not much to do anyway. Karkat could finally hang out with his girlfriend without having me as the third wheel."

Karkat looked at Dave, concerned. "But -"

"I'll be fine," Dave interjected.

You only looked at the two of them, somewhat confused. The two stared at each other as if they were having a telepathic conversation with each other.

It's not a while later before Karkat relented. With a sigh and a 'fine', Karkat finally trudged away from the two of you.

Before you could even say anything, Dave grabbed your wrist and started walking to the football field. "Let's go then."

About five minutes later, the two of you reached the hallway that leads to the football field. Halfway through it, Dave stopped walking.

You also paused, turning around to give him a quizzical look. "What's up?"

Dave shifted a little. "I'll just stay here while you do your thing. Like Karkat said, I don't really want anything to do with the football team. Just go on without me."

You frowned but you decided to go on with his request. You give him an 'okay, see you later' while he replied with a 'good luck'.

You continued heading towards the field, this time, without Dave clutching your wrist. You immediately saw the team practicing, tossing the ball and tackling each other. You took a deep breath and headed to the person that seems to be the coach.

"Hello, sir." you started, catching his attention.

The coach, probably in his early-50s, had a large built and gray hair. He had a cap on his head and a whistle hung his chest, some of the things a typical football coach would wear. He turned his focus from the practicing team to you. He raised a bushy eyebrow at you. "What do ya' want, kid?"

You cleared your throat, getting rid of your nervousness. "Can I try out for the football team? I'm just a newly transferred student in here, and I'm wondering if I could still join."

He grunted before shaking his head. "Nah, I already got the people I need. All spot's been filled. Just try out next year, kid." he said in a thick southern accent.

"But, sir -"

"Stop wastin' my time, boy. Hurry along now, I've got a team to practice." he finished firmly. But just before he strolls away from you and ignoring you for good, a new voice spoke up.

"Who's this, coach?"

The coach stopped in his tracks before turning around and face the football player who just spoke. You turned your head towards him too. The guy had gelled black hair, tan skin, perfectly toned muscles, and a built much larger than yours and the coach's. He also had a smile, showing all his white teeth.

You already concluded that this guy was the team captain.

"Just some runt who wants to join the team. Don't worry about him, he was just leaving." the coach muttered dryly. You gritted your teeth and gave him a pointed look. Goddamn it, all you wanted was to join the fucking team. Is that even a fucking crime? 

"Look, sir, I -" you started trying to reason with the coach. But the captain already beat you to it.

"Oh, come on, coach. Why don't we give the guy a chance? I mean - what if the guy's really good? There's no way we could just let someone with great talent go to a waste. It wouldn't be bad if we could still have another person on the team, right?" the captain asked with a big smile.

With his words, you felt your lips twitching upwards for a smile. You really like this guy. He seems like a good guy.

It's not a while after the coach finally gave a frustrated sigh. He mumbled a 'fine', scowling and glaring at you. But you don't care.

You gave the captain a toothy smile. "Hey, I'm John Egbert. I just transferred here."

"Yeah, I've heard of you. I'm Richard Wellington, the football captain. So you wanted to try out for the team?"

You gave a quick nod before answering. "Yeah. I mean - if it's alright with you."

"Of course, it's alright with me! The more the merrier, amirite? Now just go to the lockers, I'll lend you something that you could wear for the tryout." he explained.

Then with a cocky smirk, he added: "But just warning ya', my team and I won't be going easy on you. If you really want to earn your place in the team, you've got to fight your way to it. Are you up for it?"

You replied with you own smirk. "Of course, dude. I was my school team's quarterback back in Washington."

Richard chuckled. "I should expect a lot from you, then?"

Your smirk widened. "Expect the _best_."

* * *

After five sweaty rounds of football. The teams finally welcomed you as their newest teammate. They cheered on you, congratulating you on becoming part of the team. You instantly liked all of them. Richard said you have great skills, that's why he wanted you on the team. Meanwhile, the coach apologized to you before congratulating you as well.

You're honestly thankful for Richard. Because if it weren't for him and his insistence at the coach, you're probably not on the team right now.

You and the football team were at the gym lockers, all heat and sweat. You're kinda used to it, though, so no big deal. You're by your locker that time when you saw Richard approaching you. Instead of his football uniform, he was now wearing normal pants and a black shirt under his varsity jacket. He gave you a wide grin.

"You did great, John. I'm glad that you're now on the team. You'll probably get your uniform next week or something."

You returned his smile. "Yeah, thanks for giving me a chance."

"Don't mention it." he raised his fist. With a smile on your face, you bumped his fist.

Hell yes, more friends for you.

"Well, I best be going now," Richard announced, grabbing his backpack on the floor. "You comin' or what?"

"Um not really, I still need to take care of my stuff in my gym locker."

"Okay, bro. Catch ya' later." he uttered before going to his group of football player friends.

They were just going out of the room before Richard called for you one last time. "Hey, John."

You looked at him. "Yeah?"

"Feel free to hang out with us anytime. At the cafeteria, school grounds, or even outside of school. After all, you're part of the team now."

Within an instant, you felt giddy in his words. "Of course! Thanks!"

"A'right, see ya'."

And then they were gone.

Gosh, you can't help but feel excited. You're part of the football team and you have a lot of new friends. This day was so fucking fantastic. Nothing could literally change that.

But little did you know there was something that's about to change that.

After fixing your stuff, you grabbed your bag and headed towards the hall to finally meet with Dave. Of course, you haven't forgotten about him, you still have to tell him the great news.

When you turned around the corner and towards the hallway, that's when you see it.

It's Dave.

But this time, he was not alone.

He's cornered by _Richard_ against the wall. His _group of friends_  had dark smirks on their faces as Richard kept Dave pinned harshly with his sturdy arms. You could hear snickers and chuckles as Richard said something to Dave. It must have been an insult because of the way the blond grimaced at him.

And then everything just happened so fast after that.

The next thing you know was that Richard fucking _punched_ Dave square on the face. Smirking and laughing, he and his friends finally walked away.

The punch made Dave stumble and fall on the ground. Snapping to your senses, you ran towards Dave and knelt beside him. Panicked, you asked if he's okay.

Dave wiped the blood trailing off from his new split lip and gave you a wry smile. "M'fine. I told you, the football team and I don't associate well with each other."

You felt anger surging through your chest. You're now fucking angry at Richard for hurting Dave. Fucking angry at his friends for just going on with it.

Fucking angry at _yourself_ for letting this happen to your friend.

You instantly regretted on making Dave go with you to the field.

You instantly regretted on liking the football team.

And you instantly regretted on thinking that Richard is a good guy.

You're so _not_ hanging out with those assholes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tfw you don't even know how football works so you just flipping skipped the playing of the game part ahaHAAHAHHAAH


	4. Gone, Gone, Gone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _"Give me reason to believe,_   
>  _That you would do the same for me"_
> 
> * * *
> 
> Dave's P.O.V in how school works for him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the short chapter, I highly blame writer's block for this.
> 
> I'll probably be back after four/five days.  
> Enjoy! :)

Ah yes, Monday mornings.

It's been roughly two days since John's first day in your school. Since John joined the football team. Since the football team made your life pretty horrible. Again. 

Great, just great. 

You're not surprised, that they had pounced on you right on sight like how a predator pounces on its prey. They shoved you and pinned you to the wall. Obviously to antagonize you and make your life as shitty as it was. 

You're not really sure when the bullying had started. Probably back then when you're thirteen or fourteen. When they first got a glimpse of your eyes. And when this girl started spreading rumors about you that you're gay.

Not that you're not gay. You just hate the fact that the word spreads through the entire school like fucking hellfire. And how it caused those homophobic assholes to always target you specifically. Seems only yesterday that poor thirteen-year-old Dave got his first beatings from his bullies. 

By the time high school and puberty came, it's gotten worse. They've become bigger, taller, meaner, and much more intimidating. They started football which means more muscles and power. While you? Well, you grew into this scrawny, lanky weirdo. The perfect formula for being bullied.

Of course, you tried fighting at first. But whenever you got your ass to the principal's office, Richard side of the story is what's always believed in. You tried explaining to Candace, defending yourself. But Candace, being herself, didn't listen to you. And surprise, surprise, you got more beatings from her too. So much for being a 'good' foster mother. 

You heard the school bell, indicating the start of classes in five minutes. Letting out a tired sigh, you grabbed your stuff from your locker before closing it. You started heading towards your first period, Karkat's beside you in a second.

"Hey, fuckass." he greeted. 

You scoffed. "Gee, thanks for that lovely morning greeting, Karkles." 

"So how did it go?" you friend questioned. "The football team didn't give you any trouble, did they?" 

You shook your head, lying and not really wanting to make him worry. You don't need Karkat to fuss over you, you don't need a bodyguard. You'll be fine on your own, thank you very much.  

Unfortunately, Karkat's basically _your_  tiny bodyguard (or well, bodyguard wannabe). So he doesn't put up with your bullshit. He narrowed his eyes at you, gritting his teeth. "You fucking liar, I could see your new split lip." 

You bit your bottom lip and looked away in an attempt to hide it. "What split lip?" 

"Don't play coy with me, Strider. You got cornered didn't you?" he glared. 

"I don't know what you're talking about." you grunted, speeding up on your tracks. Karkat merely followed you with equal speed.  

"Dave," he said, grabbing you by the wrist to stop you. He looked at you in concern. "I can't just sit around here and see my best friend get hurt. You'd have to stop hanging out with Egbert if he's part of the team now." 

"Karkat, we all know that you're not my mom so will you please stop telling me what to do," you replied in a tight voice. "And you certainly will not tell me to whom I will or will not hang out with. John's the closest thing that I have that could actually be considered as a friend who isn't you or Terezi. So please don't fucking ruin this for me." 

Karkat didn't seem to be convinced. He looked at you, unamused. Goddamn it, how could someone be so fucking stubborn. "But if you keep hanging out with him, the chances of you being the team's punching bag will be increasing up a notch. Because John could be closer to the football team that you'd think." 

"I don't care." you mumbled. 

"And if John isn't the person you think he is? If he's apparently like Richard or the rest of the team? If he hurts you?" Karkat insisted. You can't help but roll your eyes at him.

"John's... different. He's helped me with groceries, he made an effort in talking to me in Pesterchum. He promised me that we could hang out together. And you can't possibly think that there's a hidden bad identity under his goofy, dorky smiles. The guy's an epitome of niceness. Just trust me on this one, 'kay?" you finished, offering him a small smile. 

Karkat kept on looking at you in worry, his arms crossed on his chest. You rolled your eyes, he could be a fucking mother hen at some times. "I'll be fine, I promise," you vowed. "You know I can take care of myself." 

With a frustrated sigh, Karkat relented. "Fine, Strider. But don't even think of coming to me crying if this John kid ever hurt you." 

"Pssh bullshit, Karkles, we both know that you love me more than that." you said to him with a cheeky grin. 

Karkat smirked, rolling his eyes half-heartedly at you. "You know it. But seriously, if he even thinks that he could lay a single finger on you, the Egbert will be facing my wrath." 

"A'ight, a'ight. Whatever you say, mother dearest. See you at lunch." you shooed him off, walking towards the room of your class. 

"Don't call me that." Karkat snapped. 

"Okay, 'mom' will do then?" you asked cockily, smirking.

"Oh shut up, fuckwit." He said as a final resort, then he was off to his next class. 

You inwardly sighed. Just another normal day in school, you just hope that things won't make it worst for you. 

And by 'things', you meant the football team.

* * *

Hours later, lunch finally came. You grabbed your food from the lunch ladies. After that, you immediately hurried your way to your favorite table to sit on. You noticed that Karkat's already waiting for you.

Before sitting down, you looked at your surroundings in search for John. Sadly, you can't find him anywhere so you refrained your search and sat down in front of Karkat.

"'Sup, mom." you teased. Karkat only glared at you. 

"I told you to stop that, you fucking piece of shit." 

You fake pouted at him. "Aww, mommy, you can't possibly be that mean to your child. Moms are supposed to be nice and caring." 

Karkat gave you a flat look. "Right, because Candace has been _very_ nice and caring to you ever since she got her hands on you."  

You knew he was only joking but you can't help but feel tense. Of course, you told Karkat about Candace. He insisted on knowing what happened to you that one time you went to school with a bruised cheek. That was back when you didn't have the makeup to cover up the bruises. Karkat just wouldn't let go until you'd caved and spilled your secret. He bought you concealer the very next day, and you've been using it ever since.

Even when the bullies came, Karkat tried his best to shoo them away. But Karkat never seems to intimidate them, mostly because of his height. The only help Karkat could give was more makeup and tending you whenever things got worse.  

Bless momma Karkat, you're incredibly grateful for having such a good friend. Karkat's the only person you could ever consider as a friend in this hellhole. Well - Karkat _and_ Terezi. 

And also John. Probably. 

Karkat seemed to be bothered by the growing silence between the two of you. So he suddenly piped up. "I'm sorry." 

You shook your head. "Don't apologize, man. You didn't do anything wrong. And besides, I don't really call Candace as my mom because she _isn't_  one." 

"Hey, guys!" a voice suddenly cheered besides the two of you. 

Both of you looked up and saw John with his tray of food. You gave him a nod before he sat next to you. 

"So," John started. "Whatcha guys talking about?" 

"Nothing, bro," you answered before going back to you meal. "We're just chilling." 

Meanwhile, Karkat kept staring at John, not paying attention to his food. Then he abruptly muttered something, narrowing his eyes at John. "You got Dave harassed by the fucking team last Friday, Egbert," he said, seething.  

The two of you went rigid. You inwardly groan, you're so not dealing with this shit right now. As much as you appreciate Karkat's help, you still can't help but be fucking annoyed at how protective he can be towards you.  

"Karkat," you said in warning. 

"Shut up, Strider." he interrupted, not leaving his heavy stare at John. "You know he could've just stayed with me." 

John frowned and raised both of his hands in surrender. "Look, I already apologized to Dave - " 

"Countless of times." you interjected. 

"- And he said it's alright." he continued. "I really am sorry, okay? To be honest, I don't really want to hang out with those assholes."  

Karkat snorted, obviously not convinced. You almost facepalmed, he could be fucking stubborn if he really wants to. "Yeah, right. Like you won't be hanging out with them. You're fucking part of the team, douchebag, how are you _not_ going to hang out with them?"  

John shrugged. "Well, it'll only be during practice and games." 

Karkat was about to argue something but you decided that nope, you're not dealing with this shit any longer. "Karkat, _I'm fine_. I swear you don't have to fucking fuss over me every goddamn second. I'm very much capable of handling my own shit, so will you please back off for once?" 

Karkat immediately shut his mouth with your sudden mini-outburst. You let out a sigh of relief, then you continued on eating your lunch. 

After eating lunch, you said goodbye to John as he left the two of you because of practice. This time, Karkat didn't let you come (of course). So now, you were hanging out with Karkat and his girlfriend, Terezi.  

Terezi's pretty much the definition of badass. Mostly because she's blind, but she sees through her weird way of smelling and tasting colors. She and Karkat got together last year. Of course, with a little help from you. If you haven't pep talked Karkat on confessing to her, those two _idiots_  won't be together now.  

As Karkat approached Terezi, she instantly latched on him and pulled him to a kiss. 

You'd be lying if you said that you're not a little bit envious. But not because you like, like Karkat or Terezi. But because they're both perfect for each other. So perfect and so _normal_. Just a guy and a girl, falling in love with each other. You could already see how their lives are going to be. They'll get married, buy a house, have babies, be the perfect parents they could ever be for their children, etc. The two of them will have a normal life. 

A life that you could never have. 

You can't really find yourself liking a girl in a romantic kind of way. So no girlfriends for you, no two-story domestic houses, no children. No normal life. Because since when have you ever been normal? 

Liking another boy is not normal. 

And certainly not your satanic eyes. 

You've never been normal. Candace and the football team have a pretty great job at reminding you that _every single fucking day_.  

"Hey, Earth to Strider," Karkat said, waving a hand in front of your face. "Are you fucking there?" 

You blinked at him, snapping up from your stupor. "Huh, what?" 

Karkat scoffed while Terezi howled in laughter. "Of course, you weren't listening." 

You shrugged. "Sorry, man. I can't really help but be bored about all this." 

"Well, if you were just listening to me, maybe you wouldn't be so fucking bored then?" he retaliated.

"Aww, come on, Karkat," Terezi grinned. "Give the poor coolkid a break. He's probably tired of all the shit you've put up on him." 

"True," you muttered.

Karkat rolled his eyes. "Listen here, you little - "

"Good afternoon, _faggot_." a voice said behind you.

Within an instant, you tensed at those words and you already knew who said it. You turned around and saw Richard and his goons. Their nasty scowls and smirks plastered on their faces.

Shit.

They're practicing in the field, right? What the fuck happened to 'practicing'? Where the fuck was John, then?

"Go away, dick." Karkat defended, looking up at the football captain with a glare.

"Ohhhh, look, it's Karkat fucking Vant-ass to the rescue. Back off, _shrimp_." Richard glared, pushing Karkat away and making his back collide on one of the lockers.

"I think, it's _you_  who should back off." Terezi interrupted with a sweet voice, stepping between you and Richard. "You wouldn't want to deal with legislator Pyrope, wouldn't you?"

She proceeded in grinning maniacally at Richard. You could see the slight falter in Richard's stance. You found yourself smirking.

It's true that he could be intimidating as hell. And he could get anything he wants through his own forceful and brutal way. But he was no match for Terezi 'the blind but badass motherfucker' Pyrope. He could never lay a single finger on you whenever Terezi's around. 

After several seconds of those two staring at each other, Richard eventually withdraws. He walked away from the three of you with his friends in tow, his malice glower at you never leaving. Once the football players were out of sight, you let out a sigh of relief. 

You walked towards Karkat, asking him if he's alright. He answered with a brief 'I'm fine'. After that, you turned to Terezi with a small smile. "Thanks, TZ."

Terezi grinned in return. "No sweat, coolkid. But you know, you should just let me beat up those assholes for you. You know, teach them a lesson in not messing around with you."

You shrugged. You've had this conversation plenty of times, and you'll still repeat the same answer. "I told you, I don't want you or Karkat getting into trouble because of me." 

"Oh, I'll make sure to keep his mouth shut." Terezi threatened.

"Terezi, no. You know Richard and his big mouth. He'd probably just tell his oh-so-rich dad and get _me_ in trouble. And if I'm in trouble, that means Candace will add more trouble for me. It's better that I'll just lay low."

"And let them keep beating you?"

You shrugged again. "If that's the best option, then sure. 'Sides, it'll only be for another year and a half. After that, it's college. Which means no bullies for me."

Terezi then started to frown. "Dave, please - "

"I'll be fine," you promised. You promised not only to Terezi and Karkat but to yourself as well.

Because boy, you sure do hope you will be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And yes, Richard likes to call Karkat 'shrimp' because it's fucking hilarious tbh akjflaksghalkshgalsgasdgashlhasjkg


	5. Safe and Sound

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _"I could lift you up,_   
>  _I could show you what you wanna see,_   
>  _And take you where you wanna be"_
> 
> * * *
> 
> Oh, will you look at this, John realizing he's gay as fuck.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I kinda lied ahahahahah. I was away for six days and I'm sorry for that.
> 
> Anyway, I hope you guys like this chapter :)

Wow, you're so fucking _irritated_ right now.

So you went to the football field, excited for your very first practice with the team. Because goddamn you missed playing football, and you haven't played since you moved. You waited there for about twenty-five minutes. Only to find out that _there was no fucking practice at all!_

Apparently, it's been canceled because 'shit happened'. But that's not enough reason for you to calm down. They could've just told you way earlier. After all, you're their newest member. If only you had known, then you wouldn't have wasted your time and energy. Not to mention that you could've just hung out with Dave.

By the time you went back inside the school building in search for Dave or Karkat, the school bell rang which signaled the resuming of classes. Ugh, great.

You tried looking on the brighter side. You still can get to be with Dave because you have two classes together after lunch, but it's not _enough_. Not when the two of you were too busy on not getting caught by the teacher.

Once last period was over, you shoved your unneeded stuff on your locker. After that, you walked past the students that piled up the halls. You searched for Dave for the second time that day.

A few minutes later, you finally saw him. He was heading outside the school with Karkat and some girl with jet black hair beside him. Just before he's gone for good, you strolled fast past the students.

You almost didn't hear the voices of Richard and his friends calling out for you.

Doing all you can to not roll your eyes at them, you turned around to walking towards them. Inwardly cringing as you saw in your peripheral vision on how far Dave already was from you. You gave Richard and his friends a ~~fake~~  smile.

"Hey, guys!" you waved cheerily, your voice strained. "What happened to practice today?"

Richard shrugged. "Stuff happened and coach said we had to cancel."

You let out a nervous chuckle. "Yeah, you could've told me sooner. I went to the field but you guys weren't there."

"That's tough. Look, man, I'm sorry for not telling you. It kinda slipped off of my mind."

_'Slipped off of my mind' my ass_. You thought to yourself as you tried your best not to fucking roll your eyes at him. How the fuck could he 'slipped' you off of his mind and not fill you in. The guy doesn't even look like he's sorry.

"So," Richard added. "Putting all that away and moving on. You wanna hang out with us?"

You raised an eyebrow. "Uh, it depends on where we'd 'hang out'."

"There's a party that's gonna be held by one of the cheerleaders. Her house is near to mine. So I'm thinking that we could hang out at my place before the party starts."

Ah, geez. You can't just go to parties when you've only transferred. To be honest, you're not the party animal kind of guy. And your dad will probably be ballistic if ever he finds out. Not to mention that you'd have to study for an exam on chemistry. And also, you don't want to hang out with these guys anymore.  
   
So you guess you'd have to politely decline on this one.

"Uhh, sorry but parties aren't really my thing. And I have to study for a test I have on Wednesday. And I'm pretty much sure that my dad won't give me permission if it's a last-minute decision. Sooooo, I'd have to say no. Maybe next time? Anyway, bye!"

You couldn't be happier when you trudged fast away from the group. You started looking for Dave again. You saw him by the road, waving goodbye to Karkat and the girl. Both were picked up by a car which was driven by a woman who seemed to be the girl's mom.

You finally reached Dave, giving him a short 'hi'. In exchanged, he let out a ''sup'.

"So who was that girl you and Karkat were with?" you asked, curious.

"Oh, that's Terezi, Karkat's girlfriend," Dave answered. "She's badass and cool to hang out with, just don't mess with her. The woman who picked them up was Terezi's mom, also a badass. Karkat and Terezi are basically neighbors so Karkat gets a lift every time Terezi's mom picks her up."

"Oh, and you? You get picked up by your mom as well?"

Dave pursed his lips tightly. "Nah, not really. Candace is always busy."

"Oh."

"How 'bout you?" Dave questioned in return. "Does your dad pick you up from school?"

You shook your head. "Nope. Just like your mom, he's busy too and works until it's late."

"Foster mom." Dave corrected. You rolled your eyes.

"Yeah, fine. Whatever. So, you gonna take the school bus?"

This time, it was Dave who shook his head. "Nah, I usually walk home."

Frowning, you answered. "But from what I recall, your house is a little far from here."

Dave shrugged. "Well, yeah. I don't really mind the distance, walking home relaxes me."

You smiled widely. "That's nice! How about I walk you home then?"

Dave was surprised (you kinda are too, you just kinda blurted that part). Looking up at you, he titled his head a little in confusion and he furrowed his thick eyebrows. He kinda looks like an oversized cat. You'd be lying if you said that you didn't find that _cute_.

"Why?" he breathed out.

"I dunno, I found out that my house was pretty close to yours. We could just walk home together everyday then so you'd at least have company."

Dave nodded. "Well, I guess that makes sense. But I don't get the fact that you still have to walk me home. We could always just split up whenever necessary."

You smile widened. "Like I once told you, I needed exercise. And walking a friend home is a perfect way to stay in shape. Also, let me do the honors of being the gentleman this time. You accompanied me to my second period last Friday, allow me to escort you home now."

"You are such a dweeb." The blond let out a chuckle before starting walking to the direction of his house. You followed him enthusiastically.

"Do you always walk on your way home?" You asked all a sudden.

"Every school day, but not including Fridays. I need to get home extra early during Fridays. From Mondays to Thursdays, though, I just simply do what my surname tells me to do. I _stride_ my way home."

"You're fucking terrible at puns and we know it." Despite your comment, you still laughed.

You could do this every day.

* * *

"Holy shit." you tried to say between your laughs. " You really _are_ terrible at fucking puns."

Dave gave you a smug smirk. "Yet here you are now, laughing at them."

You shook your head vigorously, still laughing. "No, no. You don't understand. I'm laughing at how fucking _bad_  they are."

The blond scoffed. "You wound me so, so much, Egderp."

You snorted as the two of you continued to walk. For the nth in your stroll, he has called you with that nickname. By the time he used that nickname for the tenth time, you're kinda used to it.

Fifteen minutes had passed since the two of you started walking home. It's not a while before you noticed that you were close to his house. Much to your disappointment, you'll reach his house soon and you two will have to part ways.

You took a look at your surroundings and noticed that you're near in the park. You smiled to yourself as an idea hit you. You turned to Dave, who was just beside you.

"Hey, Dave," you spoke up. "I have an idea."

"Yeah? What is it?"

"Since we haven't really hung out that much in school. And since a lot of shit happened and we also didn't get to hang around on the weekend. How 'bout we hang out now at the nearby park?" you proposed, pointing at the place.

Dave raised an eyebrow at you. "Why?"

You shrugged. "I dunno, because now's a perfect opportunity to get to know each other like friends do. I mean - we don't have a lot of homework today, just a test on Wednesday. I'm sure my dad won't mind. Is it alright with you? You're not in a hurry, aren't you?"

"Nope." he shook his head. "M'just thinking about Candace. You know her, she could be hella strict."

"Don't worry, you could tell your foster mom through text. We could stay at the park for only fifteen minutes or so. I'm sure no harm will be done." you finished, beaming at him.

After seconds of thinking, Dave finally agreed. You two settled on a random park bench, eating cotton candy that he bought for the two of you.

"So," Dave started as he started munching on the blue floss. "What now?"

You thought about it for a while before finally speaking up. "Hmm, how we get to know each other some more? We could ask questions in alternate. Like you ask me first, then I answer, then I ask you next, then you answer, so on and so forth."

"Like twenty questions or something?" he asked.

"Yes," you answered, grinning. "Now, who should start first?"

"Well since you're the new kid, how 'bout you go first."

"Oh, okay then! Hmm, favorite color?"

Dave let out a snort. "Dude, seriously?"

"What? It's the first thing that popped into my head, okay? Shut up and answer the damn question."

"But how could I answer your question if you want me to shut up?" Dave teased.

You groaned in frustration then glared at him. Dave only chuckled before answering your question. "It's red. As if that's not obvious already."

"Yeah, whatever." you rolled your eyes. "It's your turn to ask"

Dave seemed to ponder about it first. He then asked: "How long have you've been playing the piano?"

"Ever since I was... six when my dad first taught me? I don't remember. Do you like to write songs since you're good at singing?"

"Not really legit songs, mostly raps."

"Pfft, raps?" you asked incredulously. "Could you be any dorkier than that?"

"I'm not a dork." he deadpanned. "Any other hobbies or interest besides being a total dweeb?"

He earned a smack in the arm with that question, but you answered anyway. "Uhh, I like watching movies and video games."

"Of course, no surprises there. What kind of movies do you like?"

"Hey! It's my time to ask." you protested.

"Not really, you asked me two questions. I'll ask you two, now answer my question."

"I like action movies, especially Con Air."

Dave whistled. "Wow, you really are a dweeb."

"Shut up." you glared. "Would it be alright with you if I'd ask you to do a collab with me?"

"Depends on the song. What song?"

"'How do I live without you' from Con Air." you smiled, teasing.

"Then I will take no part in a shitty collaboration with you."

You laughed. "I'm just kidding. Favorite song?"

"I don't have one, to be honest. My taste in music is just all over the place. Why d'you moved here in Texas?"

"Because of my dad's promotion on his job. What would be the most probable course that you'll take in college?"

You had Dave thinking a little longer on that one. Eventually, he answered. "Photography."

"Oh, that's nice!"

"Yeah." he shrugged. "How 'bout you? Any courses in mind?"

"Music composition, obviously. How long have you've been a photographer in training?"

"About four years now. I started back when I was thirteen when I got my first camera from my bro. What's your dad's job?"

"Business," you answered a little quickly than you intended to because woah, he has a brother? "Wait, you have a brother?"

"Uh, yeah." you could see him shift in his seat a little. "He's dead, though. So are my real parents, that's why I'm currently living with Candace.'"

Once you heard the words coming out from his mouth, you immediately felt guilty for asking. "Oh. Sorry."

Dave shrugged at that. "Don't be, dude, s'fine. It's part of getting to know each other."

You bit your bottom lip nervously before adding. "Just so you know, my mom passed away when I was fourteen. So I kinda know the feeling of losing someone important to you."

He nodded in understanding. After that, he spoke up again. "So anyway, do you like any other sports besides football?"

"Nope, not really. All my life, football's been my favorite sport. Why do you always wear those dumb shades?"

Dave scoffed at that. "First of all, they are _not_ 'dumb', mind you. Second of all, I wear them' because it makes me look cool."

You gave him a flat look. "Bullshit. More like it makes you look like a fucking douchebag."

"Okay, fine. I wear them because my eyes are pretty sensitive to the light."

"Then why don't you wear them when you're at the church whenever you're singing with the choir?"

"I can't use my shades whenever I perform because Candace says so. So instead, I wear my contacts."

"So your eye color's not really brown?"

"Well, no."

"Then what's your _real_ eye color?" you pried further.

"Okay, you're totally going overtime. It's supposed to be _my turn_ ," Dave complained, completely avoiding your last question. You narrowed your eyes at him as he dodged the question.

"Just answer my last question then I'll let you take the turns you missed." you offered. Well, you kinda wanted to know his real eye color.

"Well..." Dave immediately faltered. He shifted in his seat again, seemingly nervous. "I can't tell you."

You found yourself frowning at him. "Can you just show me then?"

"No, definitely a no." he hurriedly answered.

You looked at him, puzzled. "Why not?"

"Look, dude, I answered your last question already. I'll try showing it to you in a different time. But in the meantime, can I have my turn now?"

Disappointed, you eventually agreed. Damn it, you really wanted to see his eyes. But you guess, you'll just have to respect his want for privacy. There's always a next time for everything.

Dave let out a sigh of relief before speaking up again. "Okay, going back. Since you know that I have a brother, do you have siblings?"

You shook your head. "Nope, I wish I had one, though."

"Did you mean what you said back there that you don't want to hang out with the football team?"

This time, you nodded. "Uh yeah, they're a bunch of assholes for bullying you like that."

Dave cocked his head to the side. "Why?"

You raised an eyebrow. "What do you mean 'why'?"

"Why would you rather hang out with weirdos like Karkat and me, than with Richard and his friends who are basically - like, the rulers of the whole school?"

"Dave, I don't really care if their social statuses are way higher that Karkat and yours. What I search for a friend is personality. Not the number of likes they get if they changed their profile picture on Facebook."

You had the blond chuckling over that. You found yourself laughing a little too. Finally, Dave asked his fourth and final question.

"Do you have a girlfriend?" he smirked.

Within an instant, a heat of embarrassment went through your entire face and Dave smirked wider because of that. Welp, this was awkward. You mean - yes, you've been in a relationship before. But yeah, it didn't turn out quite that well, obviously now that you're single again.

"I _had_ a girlfriend. Once. Her name was... erm. You know what, I'm not even gonna mention her name. Because it's really awkward to talk about my relationship with her. Mainly because it was a quick decision and we were pretty young. Maybe we were fifteen back then? I mean - I already thought that I was fucking in love and that I'll spend the rest of my life with her, but apparently not. The two of us eventually got sick of each other and we broke things off."

"Wow." was all that Dave could say and you couldn't agree more.

"Yeah... Well, how about you? Do _you_ have a girlfriend?" you smiled in a teasing manner.

It was Dave's turn to blush, although you think it's not a hard as yours. He ran his thin fingers through his blond hair and he chuckled nervously. "Well, no. To be honest, I haven't been in a relationship all my life. I don't really have a love life."

You stared as if he just killed a man. "What?!"

He furrowed his eyebrows. "What do you mean 'what'?"

"But - but you're..." you stuttered. " Well, you're _you_! Aren't people like you supposed to have tons of girlfriends?"

"People like me?"

"Well yeah. People who are - "  Attractive? Cute? _Hot_? The list could go on for you. "Umm, good-looking?"

Dave gaped at you, blushing at your compliment. "I - uh."

"So does this mean you still haven't kissed anyone?"

With that, Dave's blush grew tenfold. "Well, not exa -"

"What even?!" you shrieked. The blond even flinched a little with your sudden outburst. You didn't mean to shout or anything, you're just fucking surprised. How could a guy be so goddamn attractive and still haven't kissed anyone? Surely, people would like to get a piece of _that_.

Then you suddenly paled as you realized something. Maybe it's just _you_ who wants to get a piece of that.

A piece of him.

Oh, fuck.

"Dude, calm your tits." Dave tried. "Geez, so what if I still haven't experienced kissing anyone? Why are you so freaked out about this?"

"N - nothing, it's just that I'm really, _really_ surprised. But do you have any thoughts of having a girlfriend soon?"

You could practically feel Dave rolling his eyes at you behind his shades. "Here we go again with your continuous questions when it's supposed to be _my_  turn."

He answered anyway. "But to answer your question, no. I can't really have romantic feelings for a girl. I guess you could just say that I'm pretty damn gay."

Oh, fucking shit.

You're not really sure whether to think 'hell yes' because there's a chance of you two being together. Or to say 'hell no' because _goddamn it, John, you need to pull yourself together. You can't have a crush on a guy that you met just last, last week_!

Dave must have noticed your current distress because he frowns at you. "You're not homophobic, are you?"

"No! No, no, definitely not. I have friends who are gay and lesbian back when I was still in Washington. There's nothing to worry about." you replied sheepishly while he just continued on looking at you like you're crazy.

An awkward silence then dawned between the two of you. It's not a while before Dave breaks it. "You know, how about we continue heading home now? After all, we've finished eating our food and we've hung out plenty enough."

You nodded eagerly. "Yes, we could do that."

The two of you disposed your trash to the garbage bins located at the park. You gathered your school bags then you started walking to Dave's house again.

Minutes later, the both of you finally reached his house. Before he could enter it, he called out on you. "Hey, John."

"Yeah?"

"Let's do that again some other time," he said, lips almost twitching upwards. You then beamed at him in return.

"How about tomorrow again?" you offered.

"Sure." he agreed before entering their house and leaving you. You stood there by the front door, grinning like an idiot.

Yeah, you could _definitely_ do this every single day.


	6. Bound To You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _"I found a man I can trust,_   
>  _And boy, I believe in us,_   
>  _I am terrified to love for the first time"_
> 
> * * *
> 
> John gets some friend privileges, he gets to see Dave's works of photography.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, guys! Miss me?
> 
> Ahahahah lol anyways, sorry for being away for so long. Allow me to make it up to you guys with an extra lengthy chapter. I hope you guys like that, enjoy!

\-- ectoBiologist [EB] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG] at 19:13 --

EB: hey, dave!  
TG: sup egdork  
EB: wow, after all these weeks, you still call me that.  
TG: well what can i say  
TG: its your official nickname  
EB: can't you at least change it?  
TG: wtf no dude  
TG: its cute and endearing and it kinda fits you perfectly  
TG: sad to say egdork but im not gonna refrain in calling you that  
EB: bluh.  
TG: you know you should be glad  
TG: at least your nicknames is not as terrible as karkats  
TG: terezi always calls him karkles while i call him vant-ass  
EB: i don't care, the nickname's still pretty terrible.  
TG: terrible or not im still gonna call you that  
TG: whether you like it or not  
EB: fine, whatever.  
EB: anyway.  
EB: hey, can you do me a favor?  
TG: depends on the favor  
TG: what is it  
EB: well, since it's been months of getting to know each other.  
EB: you know, because every single day we've been hanging out after school.  
EB: and since we've become quite close enough.  
EB: close enough to be considered as 'good' friends.  
EB: well - um...  
TG: cut the crap john  
TG: just spit it out  
EB: fiiiiiiine. well, i was wondering if you wouldn't mind if you bring your camera to school tomorrow?  
EB: so that i could like - i dunno, see your photographs.  
EB: from what i heard from karkat and terezi, they're pretty great but they said you're sorta shy about them. so that's why i'm only asking now.  
EB: since we're good friends now and all that crap  
EB: it's fine if you still don't want to, though. i mean - if you're not yet ready for showing them to me or if you need more time.  
EB: i'm totally fine with that.  
TG: well  
TG: im cool in letting you see em  
TG: i could even show you some albums or even my portfolio  
TG: to be honest ive been meaning to ask you too if its alright with you if i like take photos of you  
EB: of course that'll be alright with me!  
TG: you sure?  
TG: most of them would be stolen  
TG: i wouldnt want to creep you out or anything  
EB: dave, i swear, it's fine by me.  
TG: oh okay then  
TG: thats nice  
EB: yeah, i can't wait to see your work!  
TG: im warning you though  
TG: my works are absolutely terrible  
EB: i'll be the judge of that tomorrow.  
TG: ah shit  
EB: what?  
EB: your foster mom's calling you again for another chore?  
TG: you know it  
TG: im sorry our conversations are always cut short because of candace  
EB: don't worry about it, i completely understand.  
EB: now go, before your foster mom loses her shit.  
TG: okay cool  
TG: ciao egdork  
EB: see you tomorrow, then...  
EB: striderp :B  
TG: oh my god  
TG: no

\-- turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering ectoBiologist [EB] at 19:36 --

* * *

It's been roughly three months since the first time you hung out with John. And for every day since then, you and John have been hanging out whenever the two of you walk home after school.

Every time you both stay in the park or some shop near the park, asking questions and getting to know each other. And every time, John walks you all the way to your front door. He'd always say 'goodbye' before walking back to go to his house.

You don't know why but he always does it, even up til now. At first, you thought it was for only one time. Because he said it's returning the favor when you escorted him on his second period back on his first day. But nope, he did it again on the second day you hung out, then on the third, then on the fourth.

Even on Fridays when you take the school bus to go home. John takes the bus with you, sitting beside you all the time. And when the two of you get off on the bus stop, he still _walks you home_.

You sometimes wonder if the guy's even for real or what. Because no person has ever been _this_ nice to you. _'This'_ nice where up to the point he always takes the time and energy to walk you home even if it's not really needed.

A week or two later, it just became a daily ritual for the two of you.

Well, not daily since you don't have school on Saturdays and Sundays. On Saturdays, you hardly see him because of the chores and errands Candace demands. But when there aren't much stuff to do or if you finish your chores a little early, you always manage to meet up with him. It rarely happens, though, so most of the time, you're still stuck at home during Saturdays.

On Sundays, however, that's where you almost spend your whole day with John. You never thought that your Sundays could be any better. But ever since John applied as the pianist, Sundays have been much better for you. In fact, _everything_ has been so much better for you ever since John came to your life.

For some reason, performing with him gives you a lot more confidence in singing. Whenever you perform along the choir, you and John would always steal glances with each other. And every time your eyes meet each other, he smiles brightly at you as his hands pressed the keys of the piano. You always make sure that he's not looking anymore when you let out a smile of your own.

The two of you would always hang out together after church hours. Mostly just around the chapel, or the music room where they store the instruments after mass. John would plug in the keyboard and play a song, and you'd sing the lyrics.

After that, the two of you would stay in John's house. His dad would happily welcome you into their house, bake the two of you some cake or something.

Their house was smaller than Candace's. But it was neat and comfy and definitely way more... bright. Maybe because of the two house inhabitants who're always radiating warmth and niceness. The only thing Candace radiates was pure, sheer terror.

Which brought you here now. You were leaving for school that time, camera, albums, and portfolio in your bag. Just like you said to John last night, you're bringing your camera to school to let him look at your... 'artwork'. Stuffing your camera, your photo albums and portfolio inside your bag was one thing.

Making an excuse for Candace on why your school bag's too stuffed was what's kinda difficult to do.

She never really approved of your 'worthless excuse for a hobby' (her words, obviously). That's why you kept the secrecy to her that you sometimes bring your camera on school. You finished saying your worthless excuse for an excuse (this time, your words) on why the bag's too stuffed. She then proceeded on glaring at you in suspicion.

At first, you honestly thought that she didn't but your lie because of the glare. But when she lets you go and finally lets you leave the house, you let yourself give out a breath of relief.

You reached the bus stop minutes late. You immediately saw John there waiting for the bus like the several other teenagers beside him. Once he noticed you, he raised his hand to give you a wave. You walked and stood beside him, giving him a small wave of your own.

He grinned his usual grin and he toyed with the strap of his bag. "Sooooooo," he started. "Did 'ya bring it?"

"Good morning to you too, Egdork," you answered. "And yes, of course, I brought it, it's in my bag. Come on, what do you take me for."

You saw him shrug. "I dunno, I kinda thought that you'd chicken out on letting me see. Because you know, what if you changed your mind or something."

You gave him a flat look before scoffing. "Dude, Striders are no 'chickening out' material. I may not usually show my photos to everyone but I stick to my word. I mean - sure, they're terrible, but as you said, we're good friends now. And I'd like to give you the personal privilege of finally seeing them."

"And there you go again, calling them 'terrible'," John repeated making air quotes in the process. "How come Terezi and Karkat seem to say otherwise, then?"

"What Terezi and Karkat said to you was complete utter bullshit. The photographs, _themselves_ , are bullshit."

"Yet, you still want to pursue the career of being a photographer." John retorted.

"Well, yeah, I like taking photos. Shitty photos to be exact, and I'd like to make it into a career. But that doesn't mean that I'm like the best at it."

John looked at you with a small frown. He seems to be in deep thought when you said your reply. Seconds later, a determined smile was then etched on his face. "Well, like I said, I'll be the judge of that later when you show me after school. Whatever stuff your pictures show, I'm sure they'll be pretty great. From a great and talented guy like you? I'm sure what I'll be expecting from you is the best."

You shuffled a little on your feet before giving out a small shrug. "Well, don't get your hopes up too much, Egdork."

"I'd like to prove you wrong, Striderp." he bit back, a confident smile on his face.

"Don't call me that ever again or else, I'll personally end you with a spoon. I'm going to make sure they will never find the body."

In return, he batted his eyelashes at you in an innocent manner. "I'm sorry, Dave. But it's cute and endearing, and it quite fits you so damn perfectly."

You found yourself glaring at him half-heartedly behind your shades. You hate it when he uses your own words against you. But hey, since your good friends now, You could give him some friend privileges now. Like the privilege of teasing you whenever he wants to without getting a fist on his face. Or the privilege of letting him see your photographs.

You just hoped nothing's ever gonna change between the two of you.

* * *

"Woah, woah, woah." Karkat reacted within an instant, banging his hands on the lunch table. "You're going to show him your photos. Like - all of them?"

"Uh huh," you muttered shoving a spoonful of macaroni in your mouth. You're on your favorite table on the canteen, eating with Karkat, Terezi, and John. You just told Karkat and Terezi about showing John your works today.

The two were halfway through a conversation about going out on a date this weekend, but they stopped after hearing your news. You're sure that they're not even sure on how to react with regards to it.

"Why? What's the matter?" John asked beside you, raising a confused eyebrow at Karkat.

Karkat scoffed. "I feel betrayed, how come you let him see your photography stuff a little _sooner_? It took me for almost a year of pleading and prying before you show them to me. While he only gets like what - three months? I thought _we're_ best friends, how dare you do this to me?"

Meanwhile, Terezi laughed her ass off. "Karkat, is that jealousy I smell from you?"

Her boyfriend rolled his eyes at her. "Shut up, Terezi. Honestly, Strider, what does Egbert have that I don't which made him a much better friend than I am."

You know Karkat's just kidding around, so you let yourself join in the fun as well. Smirking, you then voiced out your answer to him. "Oh gee, Karkat, where would I start. There's just so many stuff that John has that you don't have. It would take me forever on enumerating them."

"But seriously, though," Terezi interrupted, soft grin played by her lips. "We're both glad that you're starting to open up to other people. But that doesn't mean that we weren't surprised that you started to open up this soon."

You found yourself shrugging. "Well what can I say, John just sure knows how to be a nice, great friend. Don't you, John?"

You looked at him expectantly, meeting your gaze with him. John nodded along. "Oh yeah, I'm such a great friend to Dave, I even called him 'Striderp' this morning."

Karkat and Terezi immediately laughed at the nickname as you glared at John. The blue-eyed hunk of dorkiness just joined in on the laughs.

You rolled your eyes, before letting your lips form into a small pout. "Gee, what great friends I have, c'mere and lemme punch you, John."

The three doubled up their laughs and you rolled your eyes at their antics. You're pretty sure that some of the people on the canteen were giving you weird looks. All of a sudden, John reached out one of his hands to your face before pinching one of your cheeks. You froze at the sudden contact, not knowing what the hell you should do.

You didn't really mind him touching you, he's John 'known for his blunt but friendly gestures' Egbert. Of course, you won't be weirded out.

But you stay away from human contact as much as possible. So him touching your cheek was too new and out of the ordinary for you. You stayed there, awkwardly frozen as if Elsa the Disney queen has just shot you with her ice powers.

"Dave, you're so fucking cute you don't even know." John giggled, still pinching your cheeks in an endearing way. Ow fuck, okay, that kinda hurts.

Karkat and Terezi immediately stopped laughing when they heard John say that. The two stared at him like he had just grown another head. You pried John's hand off of your cheek, rubbing the now sore spot, grumbling under your breath. You just hope that you're not blushing that hard because he called you 'cute'. Good thing the pinched cheek would be a good excuse for that.

But then again, only one cheek was swollen so there's have to be some explaining with the other one being red as well.

"Wow, gay," Terezi stated as Karkat smirked knowingly.

You're not sure which of the two of you blushed harder because of that. You hoped it's John so that all the humiliation could be dumped onto him.

The blue-eyed boy awkwardly coughed, blush very much prominent in his tanned face. "I didn't mean it that way!"

"Of course, you didn't." Karkat snorted.

"No, I swear, it's not what you think!" John continued. "I mean it in an absolutely, _platonic_ way. Girls compliment each other all the time, right? How come it can't be the same with a guy with his friend?"

The two lovebirds went on and began laughing hysterically again. John still went on, defending himself and his dignity. And you? You honestly have no idea how to react.

John called you fucking 'cute'. Sure, it's weird because you certainly don't get called by that often. But with him saying it, saying it to _you_ , it's a good weird. It just sends these weird warm feeling on your chest and you absolutely have no idea why. The guy's that nice enough to call you something and it's just so weird. _He's_ weird.

It's just the same when he accidentally held your hand when the two of you first met. When he had his hand on yours, not wanting you to go away.

Now that you thought of it, you're quite grateful of him reaching for your hand. That day, he stopped you from walking away from a wonderful opportunity. The wonderful opportunity of meeting someone who treats you so nicely. The opportunity of having another friend.

And you're so damn grateful for that.

* * *

"Okay, you ready?" John asked beside you as you grabbed your DSLR camera from your bag. You handed him your albums and portfolio first. But he insisted on wanting to see your most recent work so you ended up with the camera first.

You scoffed at him, flicking the 'on' and 'off' switch at the top right of the camera to open it. "Dude, I was born ready."

"Yeah, okay whatever," he muttered, reaching out his hand to grab the camera from you. With little hesitation (but with a _lot_ tension), you hand it to him.

You have no idea why you still feel tense as fuck. It's just John looking at your pictures, it's not like the world's gonna end if he gets a glimpse of it. Yet you could still practically your sweat all over your body, especially on your back and arms. Suddenly, wearing long sleeves on a hot Texan day was a bad idea.

A really, _really_ bad idea.

Shaking your thoughts away, you decided to just focus on the doofus who's now looking at your camera. You stared at his face, trying to read his expression (which was not hard at all). One thing was very much present in his wide blue eyes. Amazement.

"Okay," John breathed out, gaze not leaving the camera as he kept on looking at the camera roll. "I say, what you said about your photographs are _the ones_ that are bullshit. Terezi and Karkat are right, these are fucking _amazing_."

You roll your eyes. "You're kidding me, right?"

John shook his head, his mouth forming into a huge grin. "Nope, not at all! Just look at these, the lighting, the angle, the whole aesthetic of it. They're all amazing!"

You shuffled your way closer to him, enclosing the side of your head with his. You peered and looked at which photo he's looking at right now.

You noticed that it's the photo of Karkat and Terezi, both of them had they're backs on the camera. But they were looking at each other so their candid smiles were perfectly captured. The two holding hands and walking side by side each other outside the school.

Ah, well yes, you remembered when you took that photo of them. It was after school, nothing special happened or anything. But when you looked at them that day, you just had this _urge_ to capture that moment.

They were just so _happy_ with each other and you can't help but feel happy for them also. They're your only friends (but of course, there's John now) in this whole wide world. And you wouldn't have it any other way.

You then saw John press the right arrow button, the screen showed the next photo in line. It's a photo of the stained glass windows that lined up on the walls of the church. The rays of the sunset outside lightened up the colored glass in magnificent, beautiful hues.

You found yourself cringing at the photo, you were never really the fan of the G.A.H.. Which, of course, stood for 'God Almighty, Himself'. You don't even know why you took that photo. But once again, you had that urge when you stood there in the aisle of the church. Your gaze focused entirely on the colorful stained glass. Fortunately, you had your camera with you that time so you had the chance to capture that moment too.

John continued looking at the next photos. You lost interest in seeing your cringe-worthy photos. So you scooted back to your previous position, away from him.

Several minutes later, John placed your camera on his lap. He must be done looking at all 500+ of them, he looks at you a huge smile on his face. "Now I understand why Terezi and Karkat seem to say otherwise."

You let out an awkward gesture in your hands. "Well, shit..."

"No seriously, what I just saw, they're pretty great! Just what I was expecting from a talented person like you." John you insisted, grin never leaving his face.

"Thanks then, I guess?" you replied. "You should see my old photos on the albums, though. They're way more cringe-worthy than the recent ones. Like - totally something an amateur photographer would do. Lot's off ironic selfies too."

John snorted at that. "Seriously? Selfies?"

You chuckled in return. "Yep, I did warn you about how terrible it can be."

"Psshh, it can't be that bad," he reassured. "The recent ones are pretty great, I'm sure the rest will be too."

John handed your camera back at you. After that, he started flipping the pages of a random photo album you gave to him. As he switched from on page to another, he continued on complimenting your work. Which was sorta weird for you because not much people had praised your work.

Not that a lot of people have seen you work for that matter. You don't really expose yourself that much. And you certainly don't like too much attention if ever you do expose yourself.

Only three people (well, four now because of John) have seen and praised your captured photos. There's Karkat, who first saw them when you suddenly took the first photo of him. He's been wanting to see them for a long time now, because like he said during lunch, it's been a year. He said that he has every right to see them now that his face was a part of the camera roll. So you let him look at them, he said that they're actually cool.

Then Terezi, she saw them for the first time you accidentally dropped your stuff in the school hallway. She helped you pick them up but she noticed you one of your albums on the floor. So she did what a proper friend would do. She snatched the album _without_ your consent and started looking (sniffing? tasting? you swear, you have no idea how that blind girl works) at them. She was crazed about them, saying how all the colors blend together and that it just tastes so good.

Then there's your brother, Dirk, the one who gave you the camera. But you don't really want to think about him right now.

_Moving forward_ , you see John get done with one of the albums. He then grabbed another one and started flipping through it again. You just kinda zoned out after that, you let him look at the rest of the albums and at your portfolio.

Halfway through that, John kinda went silent. Except for the short snickers he lets out occasionally. Sometimes, you snort as well, because he must be looking at an ironic selfie.

Though silent he may be, John still looked at your work in wonder and awe. As if each one of them was a piece of treasure he's been wanting to see. And again, that sent another wave of weird warm feelings on your stomach.

Time flew by fast and it was not long before John gave back the last album to you. He's done looking at all of them and roughly an hour has passed. You could feel the upcoming dread on your gut, thinking that Candace might not be happy about that.

Still, you let John take his time on letting everything sink to him once that he's done. He took a long, deep breath then looked at you, eyes crinkling in delight.

"Thank you for showing me." he said, smiling.

Shrugging, you gave him a tiny smile of you own. "It's the least that I can do. I meant it when I said that you're a great friend."

"I just hope you don't have to so timid about them, they're good. And I mean that."

"Well, a little bit of insecurity won't hurt a guy or two. But... I'll try my best in not being self-conscious about it? Also, thanks again."

"So what got you into photography, anyway?" John suddenly asked as he leaned forward.

You started fiddling with your camera. It's an unusual habit for you when you have this sudden urge to take a photo of something. "I dunno, to be honest. I guess I just like the fact of preserving different memories or something. Like when you capture a moment and store it in a photo, you can look at them anytime you want. It's unchanging, the same detail as it was, and it's just _there_. It's something you could hold on to for as long as you want. Most of the pictures are random, I know. But they're beautiful, and I don't want to forget that."

You then raised your camera to your face and turned to John. " Kinda like right now."

_Snap!_

John blinked, dumbfounded because the camera's light suddenly flashed before his eyes. Oh, and yes, you just took your first photo of John.

"Woah!" he exclaimed, surprised. He removed his glasses to rub his eyes with his fingers. You somewhat felt guilty, the flash must have affected him badly given his shitty eyesight. But then again, you had that weird urge again, there's no arguing with that. "Fuck, I wasn't expecting that."

"Sorry about the flash, I forgot to take it off." you let yourself grin sheepishly at him. "But you weren't expecting it. And the more candid the shot is, the better."

"Okay, but why take a photo of me now out of all times?" he questioned, not seemingly mad or anything.

You let out yet another shrug in return. "Because I wanna keep this memory. This memory of earning another person I could trust."

* * *

Just after you took a photo of John, the two of you decided that it's time to go home since he's seen all your photos. He walked you home just like how it's been for the past three months. You entered the house, and much to your relief, Candace was not that angry at you when you arrived late.

But she did punish you (of course) by not allowing you go to John's house for the next three Saturdays. So no matter how fast you'll finish your chores and errands, you're not allowed to leave the house. You're pretty much home-stuck in the next few weekends.

She let you go after dinner, you're quite thankful for that. You spent your remaining hours awake in your room, staring at your newly taken picture of John. His face was turned towards the camera, but his focus not directly on the lens. You can't help but admire the way he looks in the photo, he's definitely photogenic.

His features were captured well, especially his eyes that showed nothing but genuine happiness. You also liked his smile a lot, it's toothy and crooked and so awkward. But it's cute. _He's_ cute.

Oh, no.

Oh, fucking shit.

Haha, nope. You are certainly, definitely, absolutely, one hundred percent _not_ crushing out on your newly earned friend. Your gayness was not going to interfere with your newly formed friendship with him. The two of you were most likely _just friends_ only.

And you are so not going to ruin that for some stupid feelings.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh, will you look at this, Dave realizing he's gay as fuck.
> 
> I'll be back within a week (hopefully).


	7. Things We Lost In The Fire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _"These are the things the things we lost,_   
>  _The things we lost in the fire, fire, fire"_
> 
> * * *
> 
> Some nerds getting to more about each other's pasts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am true to my word, now have an update I'm sure you guys would like that. Hope you enjoy :)
> 
> I'll also try updating every week as much as possible.

Ever since Dave showed his works of photography to you, he has been bringing his camera to school every now and them. And you couldn't help but feel the swell of pride on your chest as you see him fiddling with the buttons his camera and capturing more photos of you, Karkat, and Terezi. 

After he'd taken a photo, he'd look at them through the camera roll, face focused ~~in an entirely cute way~~. His eyebrows would furrow, his nose slightly scrunched, and his tongue almost sticking out. Not that you've been watching him if he doesn't know or anything. 

It surprised Terezi and Karkat a lot. Apparently because Dave only brings his camera for about only once a month. Sometimes, every other month, although they said that it depends on his mood. So it seemed to be that the blond was in a very good mood.

You're really happy that Dave was starting to open up more towards you. You're also glad that he's becoming more and more... happy. Because the first time you met him, you saw a tensed, guarded, quiet, and stoic guy.

But now as you saw him there doing something he loves so much, you knew that he was fucking happy about it too. Like he hasn't been able to do something he wants to in such a long time. And now he just looked so free and passionate about it. You found it a little endearing, to be honest.

Well, okay, maybe a _lot_ endearing than you'd intend to be. But you can't help it! Dave was just too cute whenever he's with that camera of his.

Welp, there goes your gayness being a huge pain in the ass again. Better keep it toned down, you would really want to save yourself from all the embarrassment. You've only realized that when you called Dave 'cute' out loud during lunch last week. Geez, you didn't even know why you just said that.

Suddenly, a voice, Karkat's voice, spoke beside you."You really are something, aren't you?"

You snapped out of your daze, your train of thought going straight onto the drainage pipe. You were currently by your locker, getting a couple of things for your next period. You didn't even know that Karkat was right beside you, he just kinda like appeared or something. You looked at the short guy beside you and raised a questioning eyebrow. "Huh, what do you mean?"

Karkat rolled his eyes before scowling at you. "Are you goddamn serious? Ugh, how can someone be so fucking dense, I mean - have you seen Dave lately? Well, of course, you do, the two of you are all like - connected to the fucking hip or something these past few days. But seriously, the guy's all smiles and all that shit that makes you puke rainbows and glitter. And I literally have no other person to blame for that but _you_."

You gave him a deadpanned look. "Wow, Karkat, you sure are welcome for making your best friend _happy_."

"This is no joking matter, Egbert. My best friend is this goddamn _carefree_ for the first time in what - two years?" He almost shouted, eyes wide as if he just found out that the world was ending tomorrow. But then he's gaze on you became softer. "I - It's really nice that he finally gets to get the treatment he truly deserves. It's been a while since I've met someone who isn't a complete jackass to him. I'd like to thank you for that."

"Well, like I said, you're welcome. Though, does everyone in this school gives him a hard time?"

"Well, not really. You know Richard and his goons and they're bullying to Dave, right? When they knew about Dave's homosexuality, Richard started creating nasty, fake rumors about him."

"Oh?" you said, jaw tightening.

"Yeah, the rumors were _horrible_ , you probably don't want to know. And Richard was doing it just to be a dick and to ruin Dave's reputation. It was a hard time for Dave back then, even though he keeps on saying that it's fine. He's literally what was everyone was talking about for about a whole goddamn month. When those rumors died down, people did stop talking about him in the end. But by that time happened, Dave just seemed to never really care anymore. He stopped looking for new friends, maybe too scared of what people might about to him. He just stopped trying talking to other people besides me and Terezi."

"Man, that must suck." you muttered, feeling a little (okay, maybe a lot more angry than you'd intend to be) angry at Richard.

"I know." Karkat agreed. "That's why I was so surprised when you two knew each other. For all the things that other people had done to him, he kinda built up this wall where he could enclose himself in it. To secure and protect himself from the world. I never had it in you that you'd break the damn wall in a short matter of time. I never even thought that Dave would let you in so easily."

All of a sudden, you're out of words because of what Karkat said. He then looked at you with a soft smile on his face. "That's why there's something about you, John Egbert. Something that Dave sees and feels about you that makes him feel comfort and safety. And whatever it is, I'm happy for him about it."

"I - well," you stammered hopelessly. Karkat merely chuckled in amused disbelief.

"Yes, I know it sounds, or maybe even feels, weird when you think of it." He mused, then his face went dark and serious. His glare was almost threatening. "But don't you even dare ruin the trust Dave gives to you. Because I swear if you hurt him just like what Richard did, just like what his fo - friends did, Richard's friends did. I swear you'll be facing not only my, but also Terezi's wrath."

Before you could even answer, the school bell rang throughout the halls. You let out a curse under your breath, fixing your stuff inside your bag.

"I'll see you at lunch, Egbert." Karkat hastily said, also alarmed by the ringing. "But just so you know, Dave told me he's showing you something important later after school. It's a very touchy subject for him, so you better respect his boundaries."

You gave him a brief nod, noting that on your mind. You saw him brisk walk towards his next period, so you also started pacing towards your own class. 

You wondered what's this new thing Dave's gonna open up to you next.

* * *

"So I heard that you are going to show me something in today's session?" you asked with a sheepish grin. You felt slightly guilty for being too eager since Karkat did say to respect Dave's boundaries. But you can't help but be a little bit of curious about it. It's been eating away your thoughts for about the whole _day_.

Meanwhile, Dave froze next to you at the bench, surprised that you already know. Although surprised he may be, he still gave you a deadpanned look before asking. "Alright, who was it that told you. The loudmouth or the loudmouth?"

You're not really sure if he was joking about the question or not, you answered anyway. "The loudmouth."

"M'not even gonna ask if it was the hyena or the crab," Dave muttered.

"Definitely the crab," you replied. "Karkat told me this morning, it got me a little intrigued."

He lets out a sigh of defeat as if he wanted to get away with it, but since you opened up about it, he can't really back down now. Your guilt grew tenfold as you thought of that.

"You could just not show whatever it is you're showing me today?" you offered. Dave shook his head before getting something from his backpack.

It was an old album, you could tell since the whole thing was practically falling apart. You saw Dave handling it with utmost care, then he handed it to you. You kept a mental note to yourself about being gentle with your hold too. You placed it on your lap, not knowing what to do.

Which was pretty stupid since _duh_ , Dave probably wanted for you to look at it. So instead of flipping the cover of the album, you looked at him expectantly. As if you're waiting for some sort of go signal from him. He seemed to get what you mean from the look so he nodded a little, gesturing for you to open it.

And you did.

The photos that the album contained were just like the other photographs from Dave's other and newer albums. There were pictures of sceneries, most of them taken from a high place like a rooftop of some sorts. Pictures of the sunset, the sunrise, the once clear night sky. All of them were pretty cool and aesthetic just like his recent photos.

You saw some photos of inanimate objects as well. Photos of preserved things in jars, photos of fossils, a photo of turntables, photos of things that you guessed that Dave once owned. You suppressed a small snicker, Dave really sure was a dork when it comes to photography. Up to the point that he'd even take photos of things he owns.

There were also stolen pictures of people. You didn't saw pictures of Karkat nor Terezi, so the people Dave took photos of were just some random people. Random people in the park, in a cafe, in school. Some of them smiling, some were laughing, some expressionless, and some faces turned into a funny expression. But all of them oblivious from the camera pointed at them. Yet all their genuine expressions perfectly captured.

Given on how old the whole album was, Dave had always been this talented in taking photos.

Although all of them were pretty amazing, one photo still had caught your eye, unlike the others.

It was a photo of a guy in his late twenties. A guy who was sitting in front of what seemed to be a work desk, toying with some sort of metal with the use of his screwdriver. Several scraps of metal were scattered across the desk. He had an angular jaw, pale skin, and pale blond hair that's styled in a weird spiky manner. And an amount of freckles dusting his nose and cheeks (although you think Dave has more).

He was wearing a black tank top and some fingerless gloves as he fiddled with the chuck of metal he's holding. He also had piercings on his thick left eyebrow.

But his most prominent feature was his pointy dark shades perched on the bridge of his nose. It shielded his eyes, yet you could still see the concentration he gives towards the thing he's working on. You could tell that he's very passionate towards what he's doing in the picture. It almost reminded you of Dave with his camera.

Your eyes widened at realization dawned to you. You immediately looked at the person sitting beside you. Then you looked at the guy on the photo again, then at Dave again. Shit, the two of them really looked alike, it's not that surprising if they were -

"He's my brother," Dave started awkwardly, gesturing towards the man in the picture. You saw him shuffling a bit in his seat, clearly nervous and agitated.

"Well, his name was Dirk. He did most of the parenting when I was still a kid. I think he was nineteen at that point, starting out fresh to college. But of course, he had to stop when my real parents died."

Dave paused for a moment, letting out a huge, shaky breath. Now you understand Karkat's warning this morning. You almost wanted to give him a hug right now but you don't want to scare him away or something. It's not after a while before he continued speaking again.

"And well - yeah. One day, I kinda like told him about my growing interest in taking photos of shit. So like I said, he gave me this camera for my thirteenth birthday. Along with it was the album you're looking at right now. He told me to fill it up with memories I want to hold on to for forever and I did. I simply filled it with the beauty of life, of _my_  life.

"And of course, my life just kinda went to ditch when Dirk died. It happened months later after my birthday. It was late that night, I got a phone call from a police officer telling me that he saved a guy from being mugged. And that he's shot several times all over the body. I mean - don't get me wrong, my brother's badass and all. He could like kick that mugger's ass and give him hell, but he had to have a gun. Dirk had probably didn't saw that one coming. Heh, I sure as hell didn't saw that one coming.

"His funeral happened, not a lot of people attended and I was put into the system, ended up living with Candace. Most of my stuff and his stuff were sold or something, but I kept the camera and the album. I continued with my photography, 'cause it's the only thing that makes me move forward. I just had to make newer memories so I can capture them and hold onto them just like what my brother said."

You stared at Dave, wide-eyed as he finished telling his story. He gave you a wry smile in return but then looked away from you, staring at his lap.

You felt sad for him, but you knew that Dave probably doesn't want any pity. So instead, you decided to share a story of your own with him.

"You know, I still have nightmares about the night when my mom died." you started. Dave returned his eyes to you, acknowledging your story, so you continued.

"Yeah, she was driving back then and I was in the back of the car. I remembered the tires screeching, the horns honking, the two of us screaming. And then fire. I got out of the car before she did, I realized that her seatbelt was stuck or something so she couldn't get out. Before I could even get back and help her, the car exploded."

"I'm sorry," Dave muttered quietly.

"Nah, it's okay, it's part of getting to know each other, right? So anyway, after her death, I was just this huge ball of anger, kinda like Karkat but much worse. I was angry at almost everything, at my friends and at my dad, although they had nothing to do with it because they weren't even there when it happened. Maybe I was just angry at myself for not saving her."

"John, it wasn't your fault -"

"I know it wasn't," you interrupted. "But fourteen year old me seemed to think otherwise. My dad got worried about me, given that I skipped meals and stopped talking to my friends. So he hired a therapist for me. Of course, I was mad at first because I believed that I didn't need any help. But _damn_ did that therapist helped me a lot. About a year later, I got healthy again, both physically and mentally. Eventually, my sessions with her were over but she told me one thing.

"There are a lot of great ways to cope when you lose someone. Yours with your photography, and mine... Well, every month ever since my therapist told me, I've been writing letters to my dead mom. I know it sounds weird, but it's almost as if I'm talking to her as if she's not dead and just somewhere far away. I could just like - write to her, tell her all my problems, update her with my life. Kinda like a diary, you get me?"

"Yeah, I get it," you saw Dave nod in understanding. "Thanks for sharing."

You gave a small smile in return. "I really want to thank you too. You know, for opening up to me with these kinds of stuff, I'm very glad that you trust me and shit. Karkat said you don't open up that easily towards other people. So why did you with me?"

He shrugged awkwardly, not meeting your gaze again. "Let's just say you're... different from most people. I dunno, I just - when I first met you, you seemed so persistent in wanting to know more about a nobody like me. You're nice to me, not a lot of people have been nice to me when my bro died."

You remember what Karkat said to you about Richard spreading ugly rumors about Dave and the whole school talking about him because of it. Your chest started to ache as you try to imagine Dave in that situation. When he saw everyone he passed by whispering about him, sneering and giving him looks.

Now that you think of it, you fucking hated it that you and your dad didn't move to Texas sooner. Maybe then you'd have a chance on giving Richard a taste of your fist back then.

But since you're kinda late for that, you'll just have to be here for him. Be a friend to him, right here, right now.

You didn't know when you actually started moving closer to him. The next thing you know was that you now have an arm full of Dave as you reached for him to a hug.

You felt Dave immediately went stiff, just like he did when you pinched his cheek. Within an instant, you thought that this was such a bad idea for doing something this bold. But then again, you felt his lanky arms wrap around your torso, returning the hug.

You smiled victoriously at yourself, you rested your face on the crook of his head. His pale hair was so soft it almost tickled your nose. It also smelled like apples and cinnamon, gosh, you think you could just drown on his scent for forever.

However, all good things must come to an end as Dave withdrew from your hold. Scooting away from you, probably overwhelmed with the physical contact. You gave him time to adjust and a couple of seconds later, he seemed to have regained his bearings. You took notice of the time so you told him that it's the time to go home, to which Dave agreed to.

You walked him home again, an unusual thing that has settled between the two of you. You're never really sure on why you kept on walking him home. But Dave doesn't comment about it so you just sorta kept on doing it.

Maybe it's just because you want to see that satisfied look on his face when you say your goodbye. When his lips twitch upward into a small, gentle smile before he opens the front door and enters the house. When he leaves you there, smiling like an idiot, wanting to see more from this beautiful boy.

Whatever it is, it has your heart doing weird backflips, leaves you flustered and feeling weird inside. Whatever this is that makes you think about him, about _Dave_ , it makes you become torn between wanting it to go on or to stop.

But whatever the fuck it is, you definitely hope that it's not ~~, not~~ love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gawd, this is so fucking gay I don't even know askdjhfksaghalksjhg


	8. Arms

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _"I hope that you see right through my walls,_   
>  _I hope that you catch me 'cause I'm already falling"_
> 
> * * *
> 
> We finally get to see John defending Dave from bullies, I hope you guys are finally happy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was not even supposed to be this long, goddamn it. My hands just suddenly went haywire and automatically typed out this chapter a little longer than it should have been ;_;
> 
> But anyway, I hope ya'll enjoy this upd8, see you guys next week.

It's been roughly fifteen hours since you've told John about your dead brother. And to be honest, you're relieved that it kinda went well.

You actually thought that it would have too much drama and that John would like - pity you or whatever. But instead John shared a tidbit of his own past in his end and you're okay with that. You're even okay with the hug, to be honest.

What you're not slightly okay was at the fact that Karkat had told John beforehand. You already knew that either he or Terezi would cave in and spoil the surprise. So you're not mad at Karkat or anything.

It's just that you're still sorta hesitant in telling John about Dirk. You even hoped that you could stall for another few days. But then again John opened up the topic himself because Karkat already told him about it. You didn't want to be a horrible friend and not tell him when he kinda expected you to.

Minutes before your first class, you spent the most of your time in search for one crabby loudmouth. You easily found him by Terezi's locker seconds later. The two were talking about live action roleplaying or something. You approached the two, maintaining silence for an element of surprise. You strode towards them and they didn't seem to take notice of you so you cleared your throat to have their attention.

The two of them immediately turned their head on you, surprised by your sudden presence. Because okay, you've got to admit, you've been spending more of your time with John rather than the two of them. Both of them don't seem to mind since they now have more privacy in doing their couple-y things. Not much has changed, except for the fact that you're not their third wheel anymore. And you're absolutely fine with that, you've got John now.

Just a friend, though, and definitely _not_ something else.

 _Goddamn it, Dave, focus_.

Clearing your head of the blue-eyed boy, you gave Karkat an expressionless look. He gave you a nervous smile, it appeared to be that he already knew what you came for this morning. "So," you started. "A little birdy told me that you told John about me going to tell him about my bro."

"Let me guess," he answered in deadpanned voice. "Said little birdy is also known as John Egbert."

You gave him a nod in return, crossing your arms across your chest. Meanwhile, Karkat let out a groan and muttered curses to said little birdy. He returned his gaze to you, grinning sheepishly. "Haha, whoops?"

"You just had to ruin the surprise, didn't you," you said, shaking your head in mock disapproval. "Don't worry, I'm not angry at you. I just wanna know why'd you have to get the honors of telling him and not me?"

"I just told him about respecting your boundaries when you tell him about your brother. It was a sensitive topic for you and you know how blunt Egbert can be. I was simply concerned about your well-being, there's no crime in that."

"Oh actually there's still a crime in that," you reprimanded in a teasing tone. "You still spoiled John about it. Right, Terezi?"

Besides Karkat, Terezi smiled wide and nodded furiously at your notion. "The coolkid is right, Karkles, you still need to have a punishment for your misdeed. I say, how 'bout you apologize to Dave here so I could lighten up the penalty."

You saw him roll his eyes at you, yet mouth twitched in amusement. "Fine, I'm sorry. I'm sorry for telling him sooner, I'm sorry for being such a terrible friend. I hope you forgive me, blah, blah, blah. There, fucking happy?"

You gave him a grin. "Yes, very much so."

"As punishment towards your heinous crime, Karkat Vantas, I would have to force you to go on a LARP-ing session with me this weekend. I know how you hate it so much." she finished with a grin.

"Oh no," Karkat beseeched, voice still deadpanned. "Three days of doing nothing but bullshit acting? Save me from this cruel fate, oh dear lord."

"I say, Karkat," you butted in. "With your pleading words just now, you'd make a fine role player."

"Good advice, coolkid," Terezi agreed. "I'll make sure to give him the role of the damsel in distress."

Karkat gave the two of you an 'are you kidding me?' look. Terezi then drowned in her guffaws because of that. It's not a while before her boyfriend dissolved into his own laughter as well. You let yourself join in with chuckles of your own.

This is nice, it's really great to be laughing again.

Even though it's just two (three, how could forget about John) of them, you're so glad to have such great friends.

As the laughs died down, you noticed Karkat giving you a weird, gentle look. You looked at him, raising an eyebrow. "What?"

He shook his head, amused and smiling. "You know, Terezi and I are happy for you."

You frowned at them, confused. It's a little bit funny on how he said it as if they were parents. Parents who're proud of their child graduating high school or getting married or something. But then again, momma Karkat has always been doing a better job in taking care of you than your foster mother.

"True," Terezi nodded. "I mean - look at you, you've never been this fucking happy before. You're smiling more, you're bringing your camera more, you're opening up more. It's nice to see you this way, Dave."

"Uh huh," Karkat mused. "John sure is doing a good job in keeping his boyfriend happy."

With his words, you felt a wave of heat rushing to your entire face. "W - What?"

Terezi laughed - it was a delighted laugh and not something demeaning - at your stammering. "Oh honey, don't play dumb, we know that you've got the homo hots for beaver boy."

"We see how you fucking look at him for the past few days, Strider." Karkat gave you a smug, knowing smirk. "There's no point in hiding it, Davey here got himself a little crush."

"Our little boy is growing up so fast, ain't he, Karkat?" Terezi elbowed Karkat, wiping an invisible tear from her right eye. Meanwhile, Karkat nodded approvingly in answer to her question.

"What -... I - I don't..." you staggered as words currently failed you.

Your two evil friends giggled some more, you gave them a confused glare behind your shades. And yes, you're fucking confused right now. Because sure, you're a little bit cheery these past few days. And it's true most of that was because of John, but there's also Karkat and Terezi making you happy too!

It's enough that John already accepts that you're only capable of liking other boys. Liking other boys was wrong enough, you're not going to spread your wrongness to him.

You don't like John _that_ way.

You _can't_ like him that way.

Can you?

* * *

Okay, to be perfectly frank.

You're kinda avoiding talking to a certain blue-eyed hunk of dorkiness with the name of John Egbert after your talk with Karkat and Terezi.

You've refrained from talking too much with him. During your shared classes and during the times when you're by your locker. Hell, even during lunch, you didn't contribute much to the conversation of your peers. John was obviously worried and confused. But you just dismissed his questions with 'I'm fine's', 'don't worry's'. You decided to leave them a little early that you'd intend to.

As much as it annoys you that you can't hang out with John, you just kinda need to fucking get a grip of yourself. You want to settle things with your current predicament right this moment. And by 'current predicament', you meant your on-going confusion on whether you truly like the Egbertian man-dork. Because if you _do_ like him, then boy you were so goddamn fucked.

So you'd like to seclude yourself away from him in the meantime. And also your (only) two friends that had caused you this problem in the first place. Because you knew that they'd only make things much worse, being the great friends they were.

You needed to gather your thoughts and get your shit settled. And if that meant that you can't hang out with John for the rest the school day, then so be it. So you tried to spend the remaining hours of lunch in a more different manner.

Which landed you here right now.

'Here' was the old and abandoned school rooftop. This was where you used to usually spend your free time if you don't feel like hanging out with anyone. Not a lot of people still go here, much to your relief, so you pretty much got the whole place to yourself. You're all alone and the place was pretty quiet, which helped you feel calm and relax.

You kinda missed being alone, having your thoughts all to yourself. You used to do all that whenever you walk your way home after school. You'd think about lots of things, sometimes, even mumble quietly to yourself. Of course, everything that changed when John started walking home with you.

Not that your complaining or anything, you still enjoy his company. But sometimes, you get fucking exhausted in socializing with other people. You've been too deprived of being social with others for so long that it literally fucking tires you as of now if you do it too much.

So it's quite nice that you're alone here right now.

You brought your camera along with you, of course. You'd never really leave without your trusty camera. It's one of the things that help you relax as well, even just fiddling with it or using it to take random photos. It calms you, lets you know of something familiar, right in your comfort zone.

And apparently, you've been on your comfort zone a lot of times lately. Since you've been constantly bringing your camera in school and all. Again, you had no idea why but you just had this weird urge again to bring it more. You awfully like bringing your camera in school. But you can't sometimes because you're too cautious when it came to Candace. But now, you just couldn't seem to care less regarding your foster mother.

For some sort of reason, you feel more secure and comfortable in bringing your camera. And if you're going to be perfectly frank with yourself, you think it's mainly John's fault for that.

Which lead you to your current predicament as of now, John Egbert.

Do you really like him?

Ugh, fucking Egbert and him being too goddamn gentlemanly, and cheerful, and understanding, and fucking _nice_.

You let out a tired sigh. Sometimes, you wonder if you even deserve this much of kindness from him. Or from anyone for that matter. It's true that it's been a while since you have such treatment, Karkat and Terezi are nice to you. But that's it.

Then came John Egbert.

John Egbert who's nice enough to help you with some groceries when you needed it. John who's nice enough to ask for your Pesterchum handle so that he could talk to you some more. John who's nice enough walk you home every single weekday after school. John who's nice enough to compliment you and your photographic work. John who's nice enough to understand for your loss of someone important to you. John who's nice enough to share his own stories to you. John who's nice enough to be someone you could actually trust.

It's weird as you put more thought into it. It's weird that you still can't admit that you really _don't_ have these feelings for him. Because if it's true, it'd be so easy for you to say it out loud, to admit it to Karkat and Terezi.

Or maybe even to yourself.

You groaned out loud in frustration, knowing that no one would probably hear you. Now you remember why you hated some part of being along. Because as much as you like to keep your thoughts to yourself, sometimes you tend to go overboard and overthink too much. Which makes you as much as tired as with socializing with people.

You fucking hate this.

You fucking hate yourself for feeling this way.

You fucking hate _him_.

No wait, no, you can't possibly hate John for being himself. There's nothing in the Earth that could make you hate him. The end of the world would probably pass and you still won't hate him. You liked him too much...

As a friend.

Yes, that's right, as a friend just like Karkat and Terezi.

Just friends.

Yep.

Yeah.

Ugh.

Does he even know what he's goddamn doing to you?

Probably not, the guy's absolutely fucking dense as a rock.

* * *

You spent another a few more minutes of headaches and thinking. In the end, you decided to just wait for things to happen 'til you decide on what exactly were your feelings with John.

Lunch eventually ended, you hurried your way to first next class. The rest of the day goes by uneventfully. You stopped avoiding talking with John, though. Because you kinda needed to distract yourself from your own thoughts. And hanging out with John again was the perfect thing for that.

Also, because you've admitted to yourself that you can never really avoid John. You could say that he's pretty irresistible. Especially with that puppy dog's eyes that he gave you during English period.

Your last class went by, you've never been more relieved as you've exited the fucking classroom. Man, your last class was goddamn boring you could practically sleep during every lesson. You walked towards your locker, returning some books to it while still getting the books needed for homework, studying, etc. Then you started your way outside the school to search for your walk-to-home buddy, John.

But just when you're about to exit the building, a strong hand grabbed you by the hood of your jacket. The next thing you knew was you were slammed to the nearest wall. Your back collided to the hard surface, almost knocking the air out of your lungs. You looked in front of you and saw Richard (because who else would it be) towering over your thin frame. His asshole friends behind him, snickering to themselves.

Suddenly, your boring last class was a much better idea than this.

Before you could even speak, Mr. Dickhead Himself shoved you back with his thick arm. He then pinned you against the wall.

"Well, well, well," Richard sneered, his face so fucking close to you. "If it isn't teeny-weeny wittle Stwider. How have you been, _freak_?"

"I've been fine, thank you very much," you answered sarcastically, voice somehow steady. "Now will you please lay off? I wouldn't want to die out of your bad breath, you should try brushing your teeth for some time."

You heard chuckles from his friends behind, you can't help but smirk as well. Richard sent them a quick death glare before returning his attention towards you. "You're not gonna escape me just yet, I've missed beating the shit out of you. You're lucky that blind bitch was pretty intimidating, telling me to back off and keeping an eye on me. But now that she's _nowhere_ to be seen..."

He gave you a maniacal grin then continued. "I could have my way with you, just like the usual."

You almost rolled your eyes at how cliche he can be. _Almost_.

It's true that he's been backing off from you every now and then. You too have noticed that and you can never be more grateful for that. You honestly thought that you're getting better in hiding from him or that he's too busy to deal with you. But fuck Terezi sideways for going behind your back and threatening Richard on her own. She could've practically get herself in trouble! And you're never going to forgive yourself if ever something bad happened to her.

The first blow was in the fucking gut, it sent the insides of your stomach lurching. The next one was in the face, you go toppling on the ground with that, your shades flying and falling to the ground. Shit, you hope they're not broken.

You almost facepalm on how much you fucking care more about the goddamn shades than your own well-being. Which, by the way, was about to get beaten to a pulp. _Way to set your priorities straight, Dave_.

You felt someone's (Richard's or his friend's, you don't really care right now) shoe kick you in the side. You let out a pained groan as you heard their nasty insults towards you.

"Freak!"

"Faggot!"

"Disgusting!"

"Demon!"

"Pathetic!"

"Satan spawn!"

"Go die or something!"

The list could go on forever for them. Good thing you've been somehow immune from them. Though some of them still sting, you've learned a long time ago not to let the words get to you.

But when they went on and beat the shit out of you, that's fucking painful as hell.

"Stop it," a venomous voice suddenly said. You're glad you still managed to hear it through the ringing of your ears.

The hateful words stopped, the feet kicking you stopped, time somehow must have stopped as you look up to see your knight in shining armor.

Although, said shining armor was just some lame Ghostbuster-designed t-shirt and a pair of khaki shorts. And of course, said knight was just this dork named John Egbert.

John Egbert who's nice enough to defend you from Richard.

"Stop it before I send you back to the hell where you belong to." John threatened, voice remaining venomous and deadly. His fists were clenched, body put into a fighting stance, muscles straining jaw tightening. His face contorted into an intimidating glare.

If you're not currently in pain, you would've laughed hysterically at how cheesy he could be. But then again, this was John you're talking about so you shouldn't be that surprised.

You heard Richard laughing at John words. A little while later, his goons went on cackling too. A good minute later, the laughter had finally died down. Richard then began making 'tsk'ing sounds.

"I honestly thought that we're cool, man," he said, head shaking in disapproval. "I had high hopes for you, Johnny boy, but you had to ruin it by being friends with the fucking _demon_."

He punctuated the end of that sentence with another kick in your stomach, right in front of John. You rolled to your side, wheezing painfully. You then heard John's footsteps gradually became closer towards you. Within a second, John shoved Richard hard enough to almost get the asshole off balanced. _Almost_.

Holy shit, Richard almost went tripping on his ass. It seemed that you're not the only one who's surprised. Because Richard himself, and his friends too were shocked. Not a lot of people have sent the king of jocks and dickishness himself almost on the ground with just a _shove_.

Heh, looks like all those exercises John had taken had totally paid off.

Richard regained his balance seconds later, he then proceeded to glare at John angrily. Still, you notice that slight falter in his stance and his eyes was faintly lined with... fear?

"I'm gonna send your ass straight to hell, you _motherfucker_." John spat, raising his fist.

He was about to send the fist straight towards Richard's nose. You noticed the asshole and his friend backed away slightly. But before John could even do any of that and send himself in trouble, you spoke up with a raspy voice.

"John, don't."

You saw him froze mid-strike, his whole body trembling. You're not really sure whether it's from anger or from restraining himself from punching Richard because he wanted to do it so badly. You stood up, picking your shades from the floor and putting it back on your face. Thank goodness they're not broken (yep, way to sort out your priorities, bro).

"John, let's just go," you said in a small voice.

Then, you put a hesitant hand on John's shoulder, one of his arms still raised. He immediately tensed wth your touch. "Come on, dude." you coaxed gently.

John quickly gave you a look, glaring as if to say 'why the fuck are you not letting me beat the shit out of these assholes when they totally fucking deserve it'. You just shook your head, finalizing that 'no, you don't have to do this, they're not worth it'.

He seemed to get it as he instantly relaxed. He lowered his arm and his features turned into a soft look. You gave him a wry smile, he smiled a little in return.

You didn't even recognize Richard's confused look towards the two of you before asking. "Are you two fucking each other or something?"

John abruptly sent him another threatening glare. This had made Richard know his place and shut up, you almost snorted. You thought he was going to attack again, but then his face turned soft again. John picked up your school bag on the ground and also his, motioning you to start walking with him.

As the two of you walked away, you heard Richard and his friend's mutters of disapproval and disgust behind you.

"Fucking freak got himself another faggot of a boyfriend." you overheard one of them say.

You knew better than to not get affected by their words anymore. But hearing them talk about _John_ like that, you can't help but feel weaker than you already were.

You didn't really know when it happened but you felt John's hand grabbing onto yours. In return, you laced your fingers with his own. You felt him squeezing your hand a bit, as a sign of care, safety, _protection_.

Feeling a little better, you gave out a light squeeze in return. With that, you saw his mouth somewhat twitching upwards. You decided to stop yourself from staring at him any longer. So you focused on the path in front of you instead, letting out a small smile yourself.

Richard, his friends, every single student that gave you a hard time in this school. You suddenly don't give a shit about them. You don't need them, they were just terrible people who're not worth your time. They all could just go fuck themselves and do whatever they want to do, you probably wouldn't care less.

Because what you have right here, right now was all that's worth it.

Your knight in shining armor named John Egbert was all that's worth it.


	9. Your Song

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _"Anyway the thing is what I really mean,_   
>  _Yours are the sweetest eyes I've ever seen"_
> 
> * * *
> 
> John gets more friend privileges, he gets to hold Dave's hand and see his eyes for the very first time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another semi-long chapter, gawd I'm just so tired right now. ~_~
> 
> But anyway, I hope you guys enjoy!

Oh my fucking god, you're completely utterly losing your entire shit right now.

You just held (correction, still holding) Dave's hand. You held his hand, in front of Richard and his friends. Richard and his friends who were not only your football teammates but also Dave's _bullies_. The chances of them giving Dave more hard times just went off the charts and it's _your_ fucking fault.

What were you thinking? Grabbing Dave's hand like that in front of those assholes. Not only that they think you're buddies with him, but also that you're his boyfriend!

But you're not Dave's boyfriend, you two were just best bros. The two of you were 'boy friends' (please take note of the space there), just boys who're friends! Sure, they defend each from time to time from mean people. But they definitely do not _hold freaking hands_ out of the blue. That was so not what friends do.

Then again, you found yourself where you are right now, holding hands with Dave and walking with him side by side. Seems like the space on 'boy friends' was nowhere to be found given in how close the two of you were.

"Um, John?" you heard Dave said beside you.

You took a deep breath, here it comes. Dave will now question your weirdness and why you just hold hands with him in front of his bullies. Then he'd be mad for making it super worse for him, then he'd break off your friendship. He'll stop talking to you and will stop hanging out with you, and you'll never _ever_ going to see him again. Karkat and Terezi will probably murder you in your sleep too.

"Yeah?" you finally answered, breath shaky.

Dave stopped walking all of a sudden. This made you stop in your tracks as well since he's still holding your hand.

He's still holding your hand.

That means he's not mad or anything, right?

The blonde merely raised a questioning eyebrow at you. His face was somehow stoic and calm in spite all that's happened. You saw him looking down on your intertwined hands, then back at you again. The look on his face doesn't change, remaining expressionless as ever. You felt the dread rising on your stomach within an instant. Because, of course, you idiot, Dave's probably _infuriated_ at you right now. He's just really good at hiding it.

You saw his mouth open, about to start forming words. Maybe along the lines of 'you can let go of my hand now, John. Also, I don't want to see your ugly face ever again. You've completely violated my personal space, this friendship is over'.

"You sure do know that my home is that way?" was what Dave said instead, pointing at the opposite direction of where you're going.

"Wait," you blurted out. "You're not mad at me?"

He seemed to be surprised at that, he cocked his head to the side, confused. "Why would I be mad at you?"

You stared at him incredulously. What kind of question was that? The real question here was supposed to be 'why would I be _not_ mad at you?'. Dave had every right to be angry at you now, you completely ruined everything and now he has to pay the price for it.

"I - what?! I don't... Y - you're supposed to be furious right now! Are you even seeing this?!" you shrieked, gesturing at your locked hands.

You felt Dave rolling his eyes from behind his face before scoffing. "Of course, I'm seeing it, Egdork, I'm not Terezi."

"But... How - how are you so okay with this? For all we know, Richard and his friends think that we're in a relationship! I just literally made things worse from you, surely they'd bully you more because of it!"

"John, calm down. It's fine, I swear," you saw him shrug as you continued to stare at him like crazy.

"How the hell is that fine for you?"

"They're..." Dave faltered for a moment, not meeting your gaze but _still_ holding onto you. "I dunno, for some reason, I don't care about them anymore. They're not worth it."

"But they could harass you about it." you insisted.

"I've got you, don't I?" he asked, finally looking at you.

Your breath hitched, you had no other words for what he said. It's true, you're going to protect him, pulverize Richard to the ground if you have to. But what if you're not around? What if they'd get to him first before you? What if Dave gets hurt again?

"Look, Dave, I can't risk you being cornered like that again. I was too late, I could've gotten you out of there sooner. I should've -"

"Jesus, Egbert, I told you, it's _fine_ ," Dave interrupted, voice insisting. "And besides, I'm sure Richard will probably chicken out for the next couple of days. You sure gave them one hell of a scare back there."

"But -"

"No buts, dude. I'm perfectly fine, you're perfectly fine. Stop worrying too much because everything's fine. Now take me home."

Oh right, you're supposed to walk Dave home, not bring him to your home. You sighed, deciding to drop the topic once and for all. After that, you finally gave the reason in why you're heading to your house and not Dave's in the first place. "I can't, I'd have to check your wounds, see if there are any permanent damages. So we're gonna have a mini detour to my house."

Dave shook his head at that. "You don't have to do that, it's kinda getting late. Candace might get... worried."

"Fine, I'll do the checking in your house, but I'd have to tell her about what happened."

The blond suddenly went pale with that, he shook his head again, this time, more strenuously. "Um - actually, going to your house sounds a lot better. I'll go just _don't_ tell Candace."

You're a little fazed about him not wanting for her foster mom to know. It's something you've noticed about him throughout your times together. He always seemed so... secretive and cautious to her. But then again, every teenager was with their parents, even you sometimes. You guess Dave just doesn't want his foster mom to get worried or something.

Shaking those thoughts away, you decided to focus on the fact that Dave's visiting your home. More time for you to hang out with him. "That's settled then! I'll just have dad drive you to your home, in case it get's too late. I'm sure dad won't mind if you stayed late, today's Friday, after all. Then, we'll see if we could meet tomorrow"

"Yeah, okay. By the way, I can't go to your house tomorrow. Still sorta forbidden to go out on Saturday's, remember?"

You pouted. "Aww, yeah, I remember."

"I guess, I'll just have to see again you at the church on Sunday."

Your pout turned into a smile. "Heh, yeah."

The two of you then started walking to your house again. No words were spoken to each other anymore, just a peaceful silence between the two of you. You two strode there at the sidewalk, side by side each other.

There was no other comment about it, but the two of you didn't let go of each other hands.

* * *

When the two of you finally arrived at your house, not much had happened. Your dad greeted you and welcomed Dave inside as if he's some long lost son of your dad. Although you guess that's pretty weird because Dave will be your brother, and you have a crush on Dave so...

Yeah, okay never mind that.

Your dad obviously became worried as he saw Dave's condition. You didn't tell him much, just that Dave got bullied. Of course, you didn't tell him that you almost beat the shit out of Richard and that you held hands with Dave on the way home. Your dad cooked the two of you dinner, letting Dave stay until it's late since he agreed to drive Dave home.

After dinner, you and Dave had stayed in your room so you could check on his injuries. He hesitantly pulled the hem of his hoodie up to his armpits, exposing his chest to you without having to remove the entire article of clothing. You saw a couple of bruises, a lot more than you'd expected he'd have, much to your surprise.

You checked if he's got any cracked ribs or anything. Fortunately, he didn't seem to have any, just plenty of bruises. Next, you checked his face, removing his shades in the process. He immediately closed his eyes before you could even see his eyes. You tried not to pout that you can't see his true eye color.

You even had all the opportunity in the world when Dave was being beaten by Richard. You noticed back then that his shades were thrown on the ground. So knowing that Dave wasn't wearing his shades, you tried your best not to focus on looking at his eyes at that moment. Which was pretty easy for you since you very much proceeded to glare daggers at Richard.

And yes, that's how much you respected Dave's privacy.

The two of you spent the remaining time, fucking around in your room. Hours later, your dad came to your room and said that Dave had to go home. Though disappointed, you still smiled at Dave and hugged him before he stepped outside your house.

Before your dad could follow Dave, you also noted to him to apologize personally to Dave's foster mom for being home late. And yes, because you know how much ma'am Candace could be strict. You wouldn't want for her to fuss about the blonde too much.

Saturday passed in a blur. You mostly spend the entire time doing your homework and talking to Dave on Pesterchum. It was pretty boring since you didn't get to hang out with him that much.

Then came Sunday, you and your dad arrived at the church and you immediately met up with Dave by the choir. He's wearing his usual white robes, his aviator shades not present anymore. It gave you the perfect sight of his brown eyes. Although you know it's not his actual eye color, you still like it better when his not wearing his shades.

You know that his eyes might be getting a torture right now since it's photosensitive. And also you know that he'd uncomfortable not wearing them. But without his shades, you could get to see more emotions from him. He's much easier to read, even though he's still mostly on a poker face. You could easily notice the changes in his expressions by his now naked eyes. It's great to see him like this, honestly.

Ever since you've been a pianist for the church, you and your dad had been going to church earlier than the others. Because you've got to practice for about an hour or two before the actual mass.

Ma'am Candace greeted you with a warm smile and informed you of the songs that were going to be played later. You started familiarizing with the chords of each given song, the other people assigned to the other instruments too. You also heard the choir vocalizing near you.

Over time, you saw people of different ages milling inside the church, taking their seats and waiting for the mass to start. It's not a while before you saw the priest waiting at the aisle at the opposite end of the church. You caught ma'am Candace nodding towards at your direction, motioning the band to start playing.

You nodded back and began pressing your fingers on the keys of the piano, playing the intro to the entrance hymn. The choir soon then joined into the rhythm of the music under ma'am Candace's conducting. Their angelic voices echoed throughout the entire hall.

And of course, you, being your gay self, tried focusing more towards Dave's voice.

As soon as you got to focus on Dave's voice, you glance at his direction. Just like what you always do whenever you're performing. And since he's the youngest of among the choir, he always gets to stand in the front row.

The two of you meet each other's gaze, blue eyes locking onto brown ones.

Knowing that he's a tad nervous when it comes to performing up front, you give him a huge, supportive smile. He nodded towards you in return, giving you a small smile of his own. Seconds later, you returned your look back towards the piano before your concentration breaks.

The rest of the mass went on, you played all the selected songs in outstanding prowess. The choir also did a pretty amazing job on their end, especially Dave. Because of course, it's always 'especially Dave' for you, but what can you say? He's a very talented guy.

Most of the people left the church when the mass ended. Others, like your Dad, who've acquainted with each other have stayed to chat. The church staff, this had included ma'am Candace, went somewhere for a meeting or something.

And you? Well, since you're dad's pretty much staying for a while, might as well have fun with Dave in the meantime.

You helped out carrying the instruments to their storage room. Dave also helped, so after that, the two of you stayed in the storage room. And just like you'd always do, you plugged in the keyboard and opened it. Meanwhile, Dave gather two chairs a placed it in front of the keyboard. Both of you sat on each of your seats. You graced your fingers onto the keys, thinking of a song that you could play.

To be honest, you'd like it better when no one tells you what to play or what not to play. But of course, you can't really complain since it's part of your job not to complain.

Still, you'd like it better when you improvise, when you're free to play what you want. When you have no one to order you around, force you into playing a song that you don't feel like playing. It's better when you just let your fingers work with freedom. When you follow your gut feeling, to extemporize and to just let the notes flow to make a beautiful melody.

You love music, you love _making_ music. It made you want to be a composer so you could share your work with the entire world. Now that you think of it, music was what brought you here in this church in the first place. _This_ church where you met him.

Where you met Dave.

"So," Dave started, adjusting his seat closer to you. "What would be our playlist for today, chief?"

The blonde pretty much knows that you're always in charge in picking the songs you'd play. You'd only play songs you and Dave have already listened to. It doesn't give you much trouble since you play by ear most of the time.

"I dunno," you answered. "But I'm thinking some sappy love songs for today."

Dave chuckled at that, shaking his head in mild amusement. "You are such a fucking dork."

"No arguing with the chief, Dave." you teased.

"You just want me to sing that 'How do I live' song from Con-Air."

"Aww, you got me."

"Of course, I do. You're predictable as always."

"We both know that you can't make me change my mind, though."

"Yeah, I know. Sappy love songs it is."

You finally offered some songs you know, asking Dave if he knows the lyrics. It's not after a while before you both settled with 'Not About Angels' by Birdy. It's a song from the movie 'The Fault in Our Stars'. Soon went other songs, both recommended by you and Dave.

No matter what song you picked, Dave would sing it so wonderfully every time. Well, except for 'How do I Live', which, in the end, was played as the sixth song. At first, he sang it in an over-dramatic falsetto. But right after you glared slightly at him he sang the rest of the lyrics in his normal voice.

Time went on fast, and by the time you finished the tenth song, you can't think of another song. Dave kept on giving suggestions, yet you merely shook your head each time. Not that you don't like the songs he was recommending, but because none of them _feels_ right as of now. Like it doesn't give you the urge to play it. You don't mean to be picky, but it's in your nature to be picky when it come to music.

Then all of the sudden, you remember a certain quote from a movie that you and Dave had recently watch. It was a great movie, in your opinion. It was a weird, crack rom-com, a musical and with a little bit of drama (spoilers: the leading lady dies at the end). It had lot's of song references and notable quotes. But it was all very nice to you, especially the quote you just remembered.

 _'The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return'_.

You grinned to yourself, a perfect tagline for today's playlist.

"I've got it. I know what I want for the last song." you piped up.

"Ugh, finally. What is it, then?"

"Do you know 'Your Song'?"

You saw him furrow his eyebrows. "My song?"

"No, no. 'Your Song' by Elton John. The song from that movie we watched last week. The one with Nicole Kidman and the guy that played Obi-Wan Kenobi."

"Oh," Dave muttered as realization dawned on him. "Yeah, I know that. Okay, let's do this."

You nodded at him, returning your hand back at the keys. You started working on the introduction, playing the first few chords. It's not a while before you gave Dave a look in signal for him to sing the verse.

"It's a little bit funny..." he started singing, his beautiful voice ringing throughout the entire room. "...this feeling inside. I'm not one of those who can easily hide."

You proceeded to give him a smile, urging him to sing louder. You hated it when he's got to be so self-conscious with himself when in reality, he's just so fucking _talented_.

"I don't have much money but boy if I did. I'd buy a big house where we both could live." He continued, doing as you said and increasing the volume of his voice.

Your smile widened, happy in Dave obliging with your request. He gave you an awkward smile and your heart instantly felt warmth at the sight of it. Just like it always does when he gives you a smile, no matter how big or small. You'd honestly do _anything_ just to see him smile more, it definitely suits him.

 _Goddamn it, John, focus_.

And you did focused. But not in playing the goddamn piece, but towards the blonde angel that's currently singing beside you. You almost mis-pressed a key and you silently cursed under your breath. Although you're not sure on whether you cursed because you almost ruined the whole piece or because you can't help but fucking bask in the beauty of one Dave Strider.

Ugh.

Does he even know what he's goddamn doing to you?

You wish he doesn't, but you know that Dave is not that dense.

He resumed on singing the song. Sometimes, he would mumble the parts where he doesn't know what the exact lyrics were. After some time, he did reach the end, repeating the last chorus for the last time. For some weird reason, you found yourself singing it too.

"I hope you don't mind, I hope you don't mind that I put down in words." you both sang, Dave looked at you curiously. You both well know that you're terrible in singing, but the way you 'sang' those words was different. They're quite and pretty out of tone yet you couldn't find yourself caring. Because it's as if you're simply wanting it to _say_ them to someone.

And that someone was one Dave Strider.

You looked at him, you don't know what kind of look you're giving him but he fell silent. He kept looking at you, honestly confused. He doesn't speak up again so you finish the song for him.

"How wonderful life is while you're in the world."

With the last note played and the last word sung, a pregnant silence was what's left between you. Dave didn't move an inch it was nearly concerning, so you started making the first move.

You raised both of your hands, aligning it to the sides his face. The fingers of your right hand brushed a freckled ear and he ever so lightly tensed at the touch. Your fingers moved to trace the temples of his glasses. You looked at him, expecting for a sign, both of you well aware of what's bound to happen next.

You took his silence for a 'yes' and removed the dark lensed shades.

The two of you meet each other's gaze, blue eyes locking onto _red_ ones.

Your breath hitched as you looked at his eyes, at _Dave's_ eyes for the very first time.

Holy fuck, they're beautiful.

You instantly understood what Richard and his friends meant back then. When they called Dave a 'freak' or a 'demon'. Those damn assholes were insulting him and his crimson red eyes.

But you couldn't help but feel incredulous. For this was no 'freak', this was no 'demon', nor 'weird' nor 'disgusting'.

This was unique, special, _one of a kind_.

Anyone would be lucky to have Dave, how come other people can't see that?

Dave must have taken your silence as something he's probably been expecting from anyone. He must have thought that you'd think of him as some child of the devil. He broke his gaze towards yours, looking down and away from you. And with shaking hands, Dave grabbed his shades from you and started raising them to his face.

You immediately grabbed one of his wrists, stopping him. "Don't."

His line of sight was still trained downwards but he can't hide his eyes from you now. You saw only one thing that's expressed on those bright red orbs. Fear.

Fear of rejection, to be precise.

You practically snorted at the fact that Dave actually thought you're going to withdraw from him just because of his eye color. When in fact, it's the total opposite of that.

"Dave, look at me," you ordered gently as you noticed that his whole body was now basically trembling. It took him a while, but he managed to look up and meet your eyes again.

You simply gave him a soft smile. "Listen, you don't have to hide them from me ever again. I think they're _beautiful_."

You tried your best to put all the sincerity you could muster just to let him know that you're telling the truth. It seemed to work since he took a large breath of relief and pulled you into a bone-crushing hug.

"Thank you," he breathed out. "Thank you so, _so_ much."

You gratefully returned the hug promptly, also thanking him silently for letting you see. Because seeing his eyes right now and knowing that he trusted you _this much_. It sent these weird fuzzy feeling in your chest and gut again.

Whatever the fuck it is, you're starting to think that it truly is love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yep, I know, gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay
> 
> Also: (No cheating!) Bonus points for those who know the title of the movie I'm talking about :^)


	10. Dance With The Devil

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _"I won't last long, in this world so wrong"_
> 
> * * *
> 
> Just because things are starting to get better, doesn't mean there ain't going to be angst anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And because I'm evil as fuck, TW: Abuse, self-harm, suicidal thoughts, and religious questioning(bashing? Idek).
> 
> Have fun (◡‿◡✿)

It's been roughly sixty minutes and counting and since you've pulled John into a hug. And holy shit, you can't believe this was happening right now.

He saw your eyes. Your _red_ eyes that you hate most about yourself, and fuck he called them 'beautiful'. This was all too much, those nice words that came from him, it was too fucking much. His niceness was way overboard, you honestly have no idea what to even think or feel about him right now.

It's weird, being complimented again, especially by John. It's weirder that you're complimented because of your eyes that made your life horrible.

For so many years, you've been hiding in fear of what might people think of you and especially your eyes. So far, no one has ever said that they're beautiful. What you've been always getting was 'weird', 'terrifying', 'freakish', _'demonic'_.

Candace, Richard, the football team, they all think of it that way. As for Terezi and Karkat, they don't mind it much. They've accepted you for who you truly were. But they'd only call your eyes 'cool' or 'awesome' or something.

But 'beautiful'? Well, that's a whole new different thing, your eyes have never been called by that.

Fucking John Egbert and his usage of that word.

What you're feeling right now was definitely not what you kinda expected. Sure, you expected that he'd be totally cool with it since he's an accepting guy. Still, you couldn't help but feel terrified of what he may think. Because after all this time of being rejected and judged, it became your instinct to hide. To hide from the cruel things the world has stored for you. 

But when he removed your glasses and told you that they're beautiful, it became the last resort. It became official, John Egbert has finally broken down the walls you've built up to cage yourself in. He's finally managed to break and tear them apart, but not to leave you vulnerable and insecure. But to help you go outside and to not hide from anything anymore.

For the first time since your brother died, as you were right now in John's arms, you feel that you're actually _home_.

You felt safe, you felt secure, you don't feel afraid anymore. You're home in the arms of someone who's nice to you, cares for you. Someone with the name of John Egbert.

You didn't even realize the words pouring out of your own mouth before you actually heard it yourself.

_'Thank you.'_

John probably doesn't get why you're thanking him. But he didn't seem to care as he just continued hugging you. Another whole good minute later, you eventually broke the hug.  You looked at him with a genuine smile. John let out a grin of his own, his blue eyes sparkling with joy, your heart skipped a beat.

You told yourself to let things happen first before you decide on what your feelings really were for him. Well, now you've made a decision because there's no point in denying it anymore.

You asked yourself: do you like John platonically or romantically?

You think you already knew the answer right from the beginning.

* * *

You spent the rest of your day hanging out with the blue-eyed boy at the Egbert residence. Your foster mother was uncharacteristically cool with it when you and John asked for her permission. Usually, she'd give you a pointed look first before agreeing, but now she just said 'sure' and waved you off.

Candace also said it's fine since she was going to be busy with some church shit. She let you go to the Egberts' house just as long as you won't be late for supper. Which was weird because she never cared if you'd be late or not for dinner.

You shrugged it off. You guessed that she's just in a good mood today.

(Boy, have you never been so wrong in your whole life.)

When you entered the house, you and John immediately locked yourself in his room to hang out. His dad even cooked lunch for the three of you. Hours later, you finally decided to leave, following Candace's order to be home before dinner. You bid John goodbye and a 'see you on school'. John's dad was nice enough to offer to give you a lift to your house again, to which you politely accepted.

The drive to your house was not that long. You've managed to make a short (and awkward) conversation between you and John's dad. You reached the house, mister Egbert said his goodbye to you as you exited the car. You let out a small wave in return, thanking him for the ride. He just smiled his fatherly smile at you, letting you know that it's no problem.

Seconds later, you entered the hellhole you currently call your house.

You closed the door behind you as you're met by a weird silence. You instantly felt uneasy, it was never silent whenever you came back. Just milliseconds when you finally came back from whatever place you went to, Candace would _always_ be meeting you with her sharp glare.

Now, she's nowhere to be found.

Maybe she was sleeping? But she'd never take a nap at this hour.

Maybe she was still out? But then again, no one would've cooked dinner for the two of you and you doubt that she'd bring home some food for you.

Or maybe she just was in a good mood? Her mood good enough to not scream at you first thing once you arrived.

Fuck, this was hella weird. You could already feel the growing dread on your stomach for what's yet to come, to which you think was  _not good_.

You have a feeling that it's going to a long night.

You called for her, unsure and anxious, there was no reply. Since she wasn't in the living room, you tried searching for her in the kitchen. She wasn't there either, there's not a single amount of food at the table either.

The lights were off in the bathroom, so you guess she wasn't there too. You tried going upstairs, checking her bedroom. Still, there was no sign of her. The next location you thought was the backyard, but Candace doesn't have anything to do that could make her go there.

The only place left was your bedroom.

Oh, fuck.

You ran down the hall, not even closing the door of Candace's room. As soon as you took a glance at your bedroom door, you frantically twisted the doorknob. You opened the door, heart beating fast, and you finally see her.

Your blood ran cold, instantly feeling faint. You found her there, sitting on your bed as if she was waiting and expecting for you. She had a maniacal grin plastered on her face. Your eyes continued looking downward, she was holding something in her hands. She was holding your camera.

 _Your camera_.

"Candace," you started, weary and eyes never leaving your camera. "What are you doing here?"

She looked at you, smiling her fake, sickeningly sweet smile. She batted her eyelashes innocently at you, caressing her hand on your camera like it's a newborn child. "Oh, it's nothing, sweetie," she replied in a kind, gentle voice. You fucking hate that voice, it's nothing but deceiving, fake, deadly. "I was just doing some room inspection."

 _'Yeah, right.'_ you thought bitterly. _'Don't you mean snooping around and invading my privacy?'_

"And what made you think that you needed to inspect my room?" you asked, face calm and collected. When in reality, you're freaking the fuck out because _she's holding your goddamn camera_.

Your foster mother shrugged. "I wanted to see if my son is growing up to be a proper young man. You've become secretive and distant from me, dear, it had me deeply concerned. For all I know, you've been stashing porn under your bed like those other trashy male teenagers. That's certainly not a good way of growing up for its lust, it's a sin."

To be honest, you think it'd be better for her to found out about porn under your bed rather than your camera.

"But I must say, David, you've come quite clean. Though I didn't get to check your laptop since it needed a password. But eh, there's always next time. Nonetheless, I didn't see anything bad among your stuff. No piles of junk that would be bad for your future. I was about to leave the room, but then I found _this_." she finished, lifting her hands up to let you see your camera.

All of a sudden, her sweet smile twisted into a scowl of bitter disgust.

You were so _fucked_.

"David," Candace began, voice starting to raise. She stood up from your bed, her hands never leaving your camera. Shit, you'd do anything right now to make her let go of it. "I seemed to have forgotten, please do remind me of your grades in school so far."

"I - well, most of them are B's or A-minuses and I haven't failed any subject. Can you just please let go of my camera?" you reasoned with a tight voice. Your foster mom merely walked towards you and completely ignored your plea.

"Hmm, those grades are good, " she continued. "But don't you think they could be better if you tried a little harder?"

"I guess, but -"

"But _what_?!" she snapped, going into full rage mode. "You can't? Why not? Oh, I know, because you're being completely distracted. You keep on dilly-dallying with your pathetic excuse for a hobby. I don't see what's so special in photography, that's not a good way for a proper young man to spend his time. You should've been able to study for your subjects more if you weren't so _fucking_ idiotic and kept on wasting your time taking stupid pictures of stupid things that are _not_ even important!"

You saw her grip tightening on your camera. You thought that if she didn't refrain from doing that, she might just tear it apart with her bare hands. Fearing for it, you immediately tried to grab it from her but it only resulted with a slap on your face.

"I'm not done talking, young man. I'm your mother, have you no respect?!" she spat. Your jaw tightened, almost tempted to talk back and say that 'no, you haven't been my mother. You aren't now, and you will _never_ be'.

"I give you food to eat, water to drink, clothes to wear, a house to live in! I pay for your tuition fee, money that gives you education. And what do you repay me? Half-assed grades that couldn't be better because you're too busy blinding yourself with a dream that will never come true! Well, I'll tell you what, David, dreams are not gonna get you everywhere. This is the reality, this world we live in, I guess I'll just have to help you see that."

You saw her raising her hands, uplifting your precious camera in the process. Her muscles strained as she readied herself in slamming it hard into the floor. Your whole calm composure almost breaks.

You'd give anything, _anything_ that would make her stop from destroying this important thing that's helped you move forward and continue living your life.

"Candace, _please_ ," you pleaded, not caring if your voice cracked or not. "D - don't do this. That's a gift from my brother."

"Do I look like I care about your worthless dead brother? He was doing a very miserable job in raising you anyway. He didn't do much in his years of being alive. He was just some measly, parasitic scum that didn't deserve the right to live. Now that I think of it, maybe he's better off dead."

Okay, that's it. You've had enough of this shit, of her shit, of _everything_ that's full of shit.

 _Nobody_ talks about your brother that way.

Feeling the anger coursing through your nerves, you did the thing that you've been wanting to do ever since she had you in her custody. You launched yourself forward to her, arms stretched out to get your camera off of her evil clutches. You're going to make this bitch pay.

Your body collided with hers in a loud _thud_ , making the two of you fall onto the ground. This also had made your shades fall from your face. You wrestled her to the floor, hitting and punching her, blind with your own rage. The only thing that's in your mind was your camera, camera, _camera_ , get the camera into safety.

Seconds later, you victoriously retrieved the camera from her. You hoped that it didn't get any severe damages after the fall. You scrambled away from her as she lay there, groaning in pain. You began to stand up and exit your room, just to go away from her.

But when you were about to reach the doorknob, a hand clasped onto your ankle, pulling it and making you go off balanced. You went down onto the floor for the second time, face-planting it. You then feel something digging into your back. You noticed that it was Candace with her knee. She rested for full weight onto her knee, painfully squishing you right on the floor. You managed to suppress to cry out in discomfort.

"You're gonna fucking regret doing that, boy." she hissed.

The camera on your hands disappeared and you realized that Candace took it again. The weight on your back was also gone all of the sudden. She then got a fistful of your hair, pulling it along with your head before banging it onto the hard ground.

Your vision went black and this time, you didn't stop yourself from making a pained noise. It took you about five seconds before you regained your senses. You stood up, shaking, and you hurriedly exited the room to follow your foster mother.

Turns out, she didn't run that far because you saw her straight away as you went out of the room. She was by the railing of the stairs, one of her arms outstretched over the railing. Said arm was also the one with the hand that's grasping your camera.

Your eyes locked with hers. And without your shades, she's able to see your _red_ eyes again that you hate most about yourself. And fuck did her own eyes went cold once she saw them.

"No, Candace," you tried for the last time, desperate and hopeless. "Don't -"

She didn't even let you finish your sentence, you saw your camera slipping from her fingers. Time seemed to slow down as the camera goes downward to the first floor. You heard a loud _crack_ downstairs, you instinctively flinched at the sound.

No.

You stood there, frozen in place. You barely even noticed your foster mother making her way towards you, eyes murderous. Your mind was telling, _screaming_ at you to run and save yourself.

You can't.

You simply can't find yourself caring anymore.

She eventually reached you, her intimidating built towering over yours. Her face was bloody from your punches and her hair was sticking up from different angles. "Give me one good reason not to kill you right now," she growled, teeth baring.

You simply can't find yourself caring anymore.

"Because you're going to hell if you do, I'm sure you wouldn't want that. But then again, you are already going there, so you might as well just kill me." you sassed in a small voice. You kept your line of vision trained downward but you could still feel her eyes boring through you.

You simply can't find yourself caring anymore.

The first blow was on the stomach, you felt too numb to even voice out your pain.

You simply can't find yourself caring anymore.

* * *

You fucking hate this.

You spent the rest of the night locked up in your room, all bloody and bruised up from your foster mother's beatings. No damages serious enough that could lead you to the hospital. Because you know she wouldn't want to have you sent to the E.R., it could raise millions of questions. You could cave in and spill all her secrets, then she'd be ruined. Because, of course, everybody thinks that she's such a fucking angel.

If only you could just scream it to the world, if only they knew what you had to go through. If only they knew the truth. If only you could _tell_ the truth. 

But you can't. Because you're sure that not a single soul will believe you.

Everything just fucking hurts right now and you fucking hate it.

She told you that she'd deal with the mess downstairs. But most probably because she doesn't want you to see the camera anymore and that she wanted to get rid of it herself.

You fucking despised the fact that you can't do anything to save your camera.

Your brother gave it to you. Not only as a birthday gift, but as something that could make you happy. Something that could help you cope, and feel safe, and feel at home. But now that it's gone, you don't feel safe anymore, you don't feel happy anymore. You can't feel anything, you're too fucking numb to even do so.

You felt hollow and worthless. Empty, like the void that has taken place on your soul.

You laid there on the solid ground, not even wanting to make your way to your bed. Because you simply can't find yourself caring anymore. You're nothing, you don't have any value, you don't deserve anything. No, not even the bed.

You laid there, unmoving and uncaring of the world. You can't seem to think straight, your senses fucking up your already fucked up brain. Your vision was blurry; your fingertips were unfeeling; your mouth and throat were dry; your breath was ragged and painful. And your ears hear nothing but the screams coming from your bedside drawer.

The drawer where your razor blades were hiding.

It kept calling for you, tempting you to run them across your pale skin. To tear and bite and cut your skin apart until your bleeding all over the floor. To slice yourself up, desperate to feel something out of all this numbness. Desperate to _feel_ something, even if it had to be pain again.

One thing was still keeping you from harming yourself, though.

You promised. You promised Karkat and Terezi that you wouldn't do it anymore. You promised them that you won't do anything stupid anymore. You can't break that promise, they'll hate you if they did. They'll be disappointed, they'll feel sorry for you. They don't deserve it if you would break your promise. For so long they've taken care of you and kept you from getting hurt, you can't just waste it away by hurting yourself.

But you can't hide from the temptation. The shadows of your mind were consuming you, practically begging and asking for it. You want... you _need_.

You sat up from where you're laying, crawling your way towards the designated drawer. You carefully opened it, shuffling and searching for that certain small box in the very corner of it. You grabbed it, pulling it outside the place where you've stored it for months. 

The small box looked innocent and harmless at first glance. You're lucky enough Candace didn't bother to check what's inside it. You don't like the idea of her finding out that what's inside it isn't as benign as one would think. You opened the box, you instantly saw the two-inch blade inside of it.

It's funny how something so small could easily bring you to your death. 

Funny...

You don't laugh, though.

Just one deep cut in that certain nerve, maybe then you'd be free.

It's not the first time that you thought of ending your own life. It's not that you're afraid of dying, but because you can't help but think of what your only friends might feel.

You've played out your own death several times on your own head. Would Candace be happy? You're pretty sure she would be, maybe a little disappointed because she didn't get to kill you herself. Would a lot of people attend your funeral? Maybe you won't have a proper burial and Candace would just dispose of your dead body in a random place.

You could almost imagine what your churchmates would say. 'Poor thing, may he rest in piece. I hope God forgives him for his sin.' some might say.

'Stupid thing, if only he had more trust in God, he'd know better than to take out his own life. Maybe then he would live a normal life and not rot in hell right now.' others might say.

You could almost laugh, stupid Christians and their stupid belief in this 'Almighty God'. It's always God who's in their fucking mouths, it's borderline annoying. They give out so much of their faith towards something that _might not even be real_. This God that they believe that's so 'flawless' and 'perfect'.

But one thing's for sure, he's _not_ that perfect. Because he made one small mistake, he fucking created this cruel world in the first place.

If there really was a 'God', then why are so many people, just like you, suffering right now?

If there really was a 'God', then why can't he stop bad things from happening?

If there really was a 'God', then you'd really want to ask him what the fuck did you even do to deserve this kind of life.

Oh sure, you're going to hell because of your blasphemous questioning about this God. Oh sure, you're going to hell for loving a person with the same gender as yours. Oh sure, you're going to hell if you ever kill someone, including yourself.

Well, guess what, your life's already a living hell.

You're such a fuck up. You don't deserve Karkat and Terezi. Both of them were so nice people, they'd be better off without a burden such as you. They both have each other to keep them company, they'll still be happy without you in the picture. They'll be fine, they don't need you.

And John. Fuck, what made you even think that you'd deserve to have a friend as kind as him. You certainly don't deserve him either, not now, not _ever_. He'd get over you when you're gone, he'll find someone whom he could spend the rest of his life with. And you're pretty positive that it's not going to be you

About an hour later, you've got several cuts and gashes crisscrossing all over your arms. You still felt hollow and empty, though. There's red everywhere, _red_ like your eyes that you hate most about yourself. Funny, how even your own blood continues to mock you.

"I'm sorry," you muttered, you're starting to find it harder to breath. You don't even know to whom you're sorry for. Maybe to your brother, or to Karkat, or to Terezi, or maybe even to John.

"I'm sorry," you repeated, breathing out a sob. You don't cry, though, because Striders don't cry. Striders are strong, Striders _don't break_.

Haha, who were you kidding, you've already been broken a long, long time ago.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, that was... intense.
> 
> Also, I am so very sorry if ever I offended anyone with the questioning about God. I highly apologize if I (Dave) sounded too rude or something, I don't want to cause any trouble or harm. I promise, it'll only happen around this chapter and there won't be on the next ones.
> 
> That's all, see you people next week.


	11. Hold Back The River

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _"Tried to keep you close to me but life got in between,_   
>  _Tried to square not being in there but think that I should've been"_
> 
> * * *
> 
> I'm sure you guys wanna know Dave's condition after what happened to him in the last chapter. But in the meantime, have some adventures of John, Karkat, and Terezi.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hallo, dearest readers, have you've been doing well after that ~~failed~~ angst I gave you on the last chapter?
> 
> Don't worry, there's more to come.
> 
> Also, I know I'm one day late, but I had to work with my other fic as well soooo yep, upd8 x2 combo. From now on, I'll be updating this on Saturdays instead of Fridays. Also, thank you guys so much for the 100+ kudos, I love you all <333

Ah yes, Monday mornings.

You very much love the sweet smell of the (nonexistent, because it's hot in Texas and there are no winds here) breeze of the fresh start of a new week. Well, a new week actually starts on Sunday, but eh, Mondays are where you could get to school again and study.

And yes, you're a nerd, but also still part jock and part composer. So screw anyone who thinks that you can't be all three of those at the same goddamn time. Because fuck stereotyping, that's what.

You're so fucking excited in finally sharing the news to one Karkat Vantas and one Terezi Pyrope. Because to be honest, you don't know any other people to talk to regarding Dave's eyes. You hoped they'd be happy that Dave's opening up to you more and more.

But when you do found them (they're by Karkat's locker), they didn't take in the news well. Those two just fucking flipped their shit right then and there in the hallway. They didn't even give a single fuck to the stares given to them.

"Now wait just a motherfucking second," Karkat said, eyes wide in disbelief. "Egbert, are you fucking serious?"

You nodded vigorously at him. Well, him and also Terezi since both of them are fucking gaping like fish at you. "I told you, guys, Dave let me saw his eyes for the first time!"

The shorter guy just kept looking at you like you've just grown another head. Only that said head was a head of a fucking tentacle monster. You're honestly confused at why they even bother to be surprised. They already know that Dave's been opening up to you a lot, so why would Dave showing you his eyes any more shocking?

"I - I don't understand," the ginger-haired boy muttered under his breath. "There's gotta be a logical explanation to this somehow. Either this is a motherfucking miracle or John is completely shitting us."

You stared at him, incredulous. "And why would I be shitting you? Like I told you, Dave just let me remove his glasses then voila, apparently Dave's got amazing eyes. I don't see anything wrong with that."

"John," Terezi started. "Even though Dave's our friend, he would never just let us remove his pretentious piece of eyewear just like that. We can't even remove it _without_ his permission like what you did, otherwise he'd flip his shit. And of course, by 'flip his shit', I meant that he would stop talking to us for about a whole goddamn week. I'm not lying, Dave's hella dramatic about his eyes that way."

"Yeah," Karkat agreed. "When we first found out about his eyes, he just told us, but not let us see. He even avoids the topic about it, he'd usually snaps at us or just stops talking. And if we saw, it would be accidental or just like Terezi said, by asking permission. And with a hardcore begging too, just so you know."

Well then...

You guess you could say that Dave's definitely warming up to you. Hell fucking yes, this was so fucking great.

Despite Karkat's and Terezi's frowns, you beamed at them. "Let's just say that I'm doing a pretty great job being Dave's friend."

Karkat rolled his eyes. "So are you saying that we're doing a shitty job in it? Am I supposed to be jealous, then? Oh great and wise John Egbert, please teach me your ways of making the oh-so-cool-as-a-cucumber-like-he-always-says-but-not-really-because-he's-an-actual-fucking-dork Dave Strider into giving in to temptation and spill his darkest and deepest secrets to me."

"Oh, I'd like to tell you my special moves, mister Vantas, but a great friend never tells his secret. You should learn them yourself."

Terezi smirked. "Ladies, please, we all know that Egbert here is simply getting _special treatment_."

You furrowed your eyebrows, confused. "What do you mean?"

The raven-haired girl cackled. "Oh, John. Dearest, sweetest, most clueless John. You have no fucking idea what the coolkid actually feels about you, don't you?"

What Dave actually feels? What the actual fuck? You shook your head, then glaring at Karkat as soon as you heard him laugh as well. "What exactly, if may I ask, is it that Dave actually feels about me?"

Terezi's about to open her mouth again to reply, but right before that, her boyfriend intervened. "No, Terezi, don't just tell him just yet. I'm sure it'll be more fun if we wait until Egbert fucking finds it out himself. Or who knows, maybe even Strider. These two douchebags will eventually realize it, you'll see."

"But what if it took them forever?" Terezi whined. "You know I can't live that long, Karkles."

"Oh shush, give it another month or two. I'm sure they'll finally know," Karkat laughed. "And I'm sure it'll be one hell of a ride."

"Now the two of you are just fucking with me." you narrowed your eyes at them. Okay, now this was downright confusing to you.

"And why would we be fucking with you, Egbert?" Karkat questioned, batting his eyelashes innocently yet giving you a sly smirk. "I'm sure you'd want to reserve those kinds of exploits with _Dave_ only."

Blushing profusely, you begrudgingly began to walk away from the evil couple. You heard them laughing their asses out, once again making other people look at them. You raised your hands to give both of them the finger before going in for a run away from them and to your next class. You so don't want to deal with them anymore.

You guessed you'll just have to hang out with Dave then.

* * *

Weird.

You don't see Dave at all in any of your shared classes, and you can't help but worry. You can't help but feel anxious whenever you don't see the blonde appear at the classroom door as other students milled inside the room. Even after classes when you're sent to your lockers, there's no sign of him everywhere.

You tried asking Karkat or Terezi if ever you shared a class together. As much as you don't want to deal with their constant teasing, you're still worried about Dave. And apparently, they are too since they've noticed the absence of the certain Strider as well.

It's weird, it's annoying how you can't concentrate with the lectures because the only thing in your head was _'where's Dave?'_.

You know that most rational reason for this was that Dave just got sick after you've hung out yesterday. Nevertheless, you can't stop the growing dread and worry as to where he might be.

Shit, you hoped he's okay. You'll just have to pester him later if you had the time.

By lunch period, the red-eyed blond finally showed up. You saw Dave for the first time today, and it was not a sight you would _want_ to see.

You had just finished eating your lunch when it happened. You were walking from the cafeteria with Terezi and Karkat. And it just so happened that the three of you passed by him. He had the straps of his school bag clutched on tight with his pale, freckled hand. So he was just late.

Letting out a huge breath of relief and you immediately ran towards him and pulled him into a firm hug.

You felt Dave tensing around your arms. You didn't mind it, though, because you're used to Dave tensing whenever you make contact with him. You're sure that he would relax later on.

Except that this time, he doesn't relax. In fact, he fucking squirmed in your grip and frantically pushed you away.

You'd be lying if you weren't a little broken hearted at that.

Terezi and Karkat caught up with you, apparently, you ran too fast and eager that you intended to be. They both stop beside you, all looking at Dave. You saw Karkat's eyes widen in concern. "Strider, what the ever loving fuck happened to you?"

And that's when you saw it.

The blooming purple bruise on his left cheekbone. At first glance, you could hardly see it, only if you looked long enough. If it weren't for his shades, it would be very noticeable because it contrasted so much with his pale, porcelain skin.

"Dave," you started, voice weary. "What happened?"

The blond visibly shifted from where he's awkwardly standing. "Nothing happened," he replied in a complete monotonous voice.

No, no, this was wrong. This wasn't the Dave you hung out with just yesterday at your house, nor at the church. This wasn't the Dave that showed you his eyes for the first time. The one who sung wonderfully to you whenever you play a song.

This was the kind of Dave that you first met at the church, the one who's stoic and quiet and so fucking tense. It's like you're back to square one and you hate how you can't even do anything about it.

Why was he acting this way?

"Cut the bullshit, coolkid. What happened." Terezi said, voice tight and laced with what seemed to be anger.

"I ain't saying any bullshit, I told you, nothing happened. I'm _fine_ ," the blond answered, gritting his teeth irritably.

"Strider - " Karkat tried, but Dave cut him off.

"I'm fine."

Okay, something was definitely wrong. And whatever the fuck it is, it did nothing but raise your anxiety levels. "Dave - "

"I already said I'm fucking fine!" Dave snapped, glaring at you behind his shades. Surprised and concerned, you didn't bother to hide your hurt expression. When Dave realized what he just said, his face softened a little, although still guarded.

"I just... I need some time alone. I'm sorry." He then stormed off pass the three of you without another word, leaving you all dumbfounded.

Karkat was the first to take action, he looked at you, his face put into an accusing scowl. "Alright, what did you do?"

"I didn't do anything!" you defended, somewhat hurt that you were the first person to be suspected. "The last time I saw him, he's fine, happy even."

"Then perhaps Richard?" Karkat suggested next, balling his hands into fists. "He could've beaten him up this morning. And shoved him into a janitor's closet or something then locked him there."

You felt anger surging through you, not only towards Richard but to yourself as well. God fucking damn it, this was exactly what you expected. Richard's all set in harassing Dave even further now that they think you're _together_. And shit, you weren't even there to save him this time.

Dave got hurt and this was all your fault.

Fuck, you are never going to forgive yourself because of this.

"I'm going to fucking kill that guy," you sneered while Karkat nodded in agreement. If it weren't for Terezi calming both of you, the two of you would've barged onto the football field to find that asshole.

"You fucking idiots," Terezi gritted out, grabbing an arm from each of you. "Let's not jumped into conclusions now, shall we? For all we know, Dave just fell from the stairs again. You know how he always warns us about stairs, right?"

"Now isn't the time for inside jokes, Terezi, this is our best friend were talking about. Our best friend who has been constantly being bullied for the past three years. And who is also living under the roof with an ab -"

"Karkat, _shut up_." Terezi suddenly stopped him. "I love you and all, but sometimes, you're just so fucking stupid I don't even know. Let's just all just calm down and think of something that would not mess up things any further."

"Right," Karkat grumbled under his breath.

"I'll try interrogating Richard later on practice," you suggested.

"And if he doesn't talk?" Karkat asked.

"Oh, I'll make him talk alright." you swore, cracking your knuckles.

"I think the real thing we should be worried about here is..." piped in Terezi. "If ever Richard would be innocent, would John still refrain from beating the shit out of him. Because he looks like he's not going to stop in murdering the asshole."

"Terezi, Richard's afraid of you too, you should go with John," Karkat suggested too. "I'm sure Richard will talk as soon as he sees you. And also because you're the only one sane enough here to stop John from killing someone. I'll just try and talk to Strider while you two do that."

You saw Terezi nod. "Alright, sure. Don't be too brash on Dave, Karkles."

Her boyfriend scoffed. "You know I wouldn't, I'm not as bull-headed as Egbert for your information. Honestly, Pyrope, why do you have so little faith in me?"

"I don't," she grinned. "I just wanted to make sure. Love you, dear."

Karkat rolled his eyes, a small smile tugging at his lips. "Yeah, yeah, whatever. I love you too, now go interrogate the asshole." He then started walking away from you and towards the direction Dave had gone.

She looked at you, giving you a determined look before laughing her ass off. "Let's go Dick-hunting, shall we?"

* * *

"Oh, look," you heard Richard spat as you and Terezi reached the field. "If it isn't for faggot two-point-oh himself. Had fun spending the weekend with the blond freak, I bet?"

You gave him a deadpanned look, trying hard to not let him get into you. "Shut the fuck up, Richard. I'm here to practice as usual."

"Do you, now? How 'bout her, did she came here to practice as well?"

"I came here to watch, asshole," Terezi replied.

"Pfft, and since when have you ever watched football? Pyrope, we all here know that you're not actually going to be watching. Why? Oh right, because you're fucking _blind_."

The raven-haired girl merely grinned. "Yeah, and we all here know that I could fucking beat you single-handedly in a fight as many times as I can. I'll have your dick shoved up your own ass and you'll be crying home to your mommy like the fucking coward you are."

You saw Richard glare murderously at Terezi, hands fisted on his sides. "Someday, Pyrope, I will fucking teach you a lesson."

"Honey, you just keep telling yourself that. I know it's easier to believe in those lies rather than to face the truth that you'll never lay a single finger on me."

If it weren't for the coach shouting for you and Richard to just practice, the staring competition between him and Terezi would have never ended. You complied with the coach's heated commands and hurriedly switched to your uniform. Meanwhile, Terezi went to the bleachers, settling herself there as she waited for the football session to end.

It's not that surprising that half of the football team, a.k.a those who witnessed you defending Dave last Friday, had been a lot rougher to you this practice. Whenever they tackled you, they'd use extra force. They sure made everything hard, painful, and frustrating for you.

You tried your best to shrug it off. You know well that they're only this confident because one, they're wearing football uniforms. So if you did fight back it wouldn't be as painful as it will be without the uniform.

Two, you're under the presence of a person with authority, which was the coach. And they know that you can't beat the shit out of them because if you do you'll get yourself in trouble.

And three, because they must have actually thought that they'd get under your skin you just by mocking and insulting.

When in reality, you don't give a single fuck about their opinions. You are what you are, no one was ever gonna change that. And their measly insults will never enough to hurt you.

But if ever they hurt Dave, then they'd have to answer to you.

Just like right now if you would found out that Richard was behind all this. Because seeing Dave so fragile and _hurt_ like that, it made your skin crawl. Like you wanted to punish whoever did that to him. You wanted to make it known that no one should ever mess with John Egbert and his friends, especially Dave.

The practice ended, the coach dismissed the team, leaving all of you all sweaty and exhausted. You at the most for all the hard time that Richard and his goons gave to you. You all retreated to the gym lockers, changing back to your normal clothes.

You still heard some of them snickering by your direction, you had no choice but to merely roll your eyes. Minutes later, you let Richard and his friends leave the room, unscathed (consider themselves lucky). As you continued fixing your stuff at your locker, you notice one member walking towards you.

You took recognition of him. He's not one of Richard's close friends and one who's nice enough to not take part of the bullying. You're not that close to him because he's a senior, but you still respect him as your teammate.

You looked at him, raising an eyebrow quizzically. "Can I help you?"

"Is it true that you're in a relationship with that Strider kid?"

The question had taken you aback, your eyes widened behind your glasses. You felt yourself blush a little with his words. You kinda had expected that there'd be rumors already. But you never thought that someone you barely know would ask you about it. You fake-coughed, laughing awkwardly. "I - um... Why do you ask?"

"Oh, nothing... I just - the captain and his friends have been talking about it. I'm just curious if it was true because you know how Richard and his ugly lies could be."

"I'm sorry but can I ask why do you suddenly care? I mean - we hardly even know each other, no offense."

The guy bit his lip nervously, looking around the locker room to check if someone was listening. Noticing that there were no signs of the other teammates, he continued. "I've always considered myself as bisexual, yet so far, I've only dated girls. Hell, I haven't even kissed a guy before. But I'm still curious. And when Richard and his friends found out about that Strider kid and his sexuality... Well, I bet you already know."

"Yeah, I already know."

"Uh huh, and I don't want to end up like that. And when I heard about you standing up for him, and that the two of you are together. It... kinda amazed me how someone can be so open and I dunno, proud maybe, about liking the same gender. Or if you don't have a relationship with him, then maybe accepting it? I mean - you're friends, right?"

"Yes."

"See, this is why it got me curious in the first place. All my life I've only seen discrimination about being gay that it actually surprises me when someone is actually willing to support them. It's great to see - well, hear - about it. I've always hated myself for having a crush on a boy, fearing of what others may think about me. But now hearing you about being with Strider and that you were so brave to fight for him, it actually gave me hope."

You gave him a soft smile. "Look, there's nothing wrong with liking a person, may it be a boy or a girl. I know that it may be a little 'unusual' to see a man with another man or a woman with another woman. But if it's unconditional love, then that's all that ever matters. People from different parts of the world are already supporting gays, I'm sure that your friends will accept you too."

"But what if they don't?"

"Then they're not worth it, they're not your real friends. Find other friends that would help, support, and accept you for who you are. Society as a whole may not accept you because they are 'norms', but fuck what society thinks, that's what. You, yourself, are the only person that could define you, so learn to accept yourself as well. And who knows? Maybe little by little, bit by bit, you'd find that certain someone that would care deeply about you, may it be a boy or a girl. Someone that you deserve and someone that would give you love. And that's the only thing that ever matters."

"I - thank you." he whispered.

You chuckled, shrugging awkwardly. "You're welcome. I'm not usually the therapist type of guy, but I'm glad to help. I know it'll be hard to come out to your friends and family. But just remember to be proud of who you are."

"Yes, I will," he smiled. "Thank you so, so much, holy fuck. I'm very happy for you and Strider, by the way."

"Uhm... we're not really together." you said, scratching the back of your head, nervous.

Now it's his turn to be surprised. "What, really?"

"As a matter of fact, yes."

"Well, you look like you would want to date him, though."

You felt yourself blushing again, you hear him laugh softly. "I - well... I just - we're just friends, okay?"

"Sure you are." he teased.

"Oh, shut up. The school could always think that we're together, but we're not."

"You two are cute together, though."

"Now you're just fucking shitting with me."

"No way, I ship it hard."

"Oh, will you look at the time, I best be leaving, friend, see you around!"

Not wanting to be embarrassed any further, you hastily exited the locker rooms to search for your blind friend.

This was one heck of a day, that's for sure.

* * *

You caught up with Terezi by the bleachers. Richard and his friends were out of sight, damn it, Terezi must have interrogated him alone. "Where have you been, Egbert? What happened to 'making Richard talk' while proceeding to crack your knuckles threateningly?"

"I got busy."

"Don't tell me you just masturbated while you're all alone in the locker room."

"No, I did not, I was talking to a teammate!" you screeched, your face was probably bright red as a tomato.

Terezi then burst out laughing. "I kid, Egbert, I merely kid. Don't get your panties in a bunch."

"Where's Richard, anyway? You let him go?"

"He didn't do it, John."

Your eyebrows furrowed. "For real?"

"He didn't want to answer at first, but then I threatened him all that shit, used some leverage to get him to speak. Eventually, I exposed the truth from him, he told me he didn't anything to Dave this morning."

"And you believed him?"

"Yes, I did."

"Are you sure that he was saying the truth?" you questioned.

Terezi scoffed before rolling her eyes at you. "You're such a dumbass, I'm an aspiring lawyer, of course, I could smell if he was lying or not. And I tell you, I'm one million percent sure that he was saying the complete truth."

"Then if it wasn't Richard, then who did?"

You could see Terezi visibly grimacing at that, her grin contorted into a tight frown. "The second option is that he just fell from a bunch of stairs. There's a third option, though."

"Okay, what is it, then?"

"I believe that it's not my position to let you know of the third option. You'd have to ask Dave, himself, about it."

You almost rolled your eyes at her, annoyed at the fact that she can't just downright say it to you then and there. But you guessed she's only keeping it from you because she respected Dave and his secrets. Well if that's what Terezi wanted, then so be it.

You suddenly had the feeling that you and Dave would have a long talk about 'third option' later after school.

Huh, you wonder what it could be.


	12. I Of The Storm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _"Are you really gonna love me when I'm gone?"_
> 
> * * *
> 
> Dave's P.O.V. on how this particular day works

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry if this chapter turns out to be somehow... I dunno, weird or disappointing or something. Anxiety has been pretty gross lately, so I went through a rather hard time writing this chapter.
> 
> Nevertheless, I hope you enjoy this one :)

It's been roughly you-don't-really-fucking-care-how-many-hours since last night's events happened. And you couldn't be more miserable.

This fucking sucks.

You woke up late this morning, there's no surprise in that. You overworked yourself last night with all your thoughts, you almost didn't sleep. You tended and bandaged your wounds before you suffer any more blood loss. Good thing long sleeves, hoodies, and sweaters have always been a thing for you.

You lay on your bed and wrapped yourself up in the bundle of sheets, curling up into a tight ball to protect yourself. You tried sleeping early since you have school tomorrow, but alas, you can't. Probably because you're too paranoid that she might just barge into your room and make things worse.

Drowning to your endless thinking and to the sound of your own shaky breaths, you finally lulled yourself to sleep. When you opened your eyes again, the next thing you knew was that both of your arms hurt like a bitch. And that you slept through your alarm, and now that you're late.

Candace leaves for her work as early as you, but you always need to set up an alarm to wake up. Because she doesn't give a shit and doesn't wake you up herself so that you won't be late. She's a shitty mother that way.

Then again, you asked yourself when has she ever been a good mother to you.

So now you're fucking late for class, great because that's just the thing you fucking needed. As much as possible you don't skip your classes. Since catching up afterward was goddamn hard and frustrating. The least you could do now was to spend the school in a half day. 

Nonetheless, you still feel pretty awful entering the building that noon. You don't want to meet up with any of your friends as of now. Too guilty for the stupid thing you've done last night to even face them. To be honest, you're not sure which will hurt more: the cuts that kept burning under the sleeves of your sweater, or looking at their worried faces when they asked if you're alright.

They don't fucking deserve this, they don't deserve to be goddamn worried because of you. You're nothing, you're useless, you wouldn't deserve their concerned looks. This was all your fault and they don't have to be wasting their time fretting over somebody like you. One who's fucked up enough to hurt himself because of just some stupid camera.

You think to yourself, it's just a camera. It's just something that could be easily replaced. So why the fuck were you so fucking bothered about this?

You also think to yourself, it's _not_ just any camera. It's a gift to you from your brother, the last person you consider as family. But now it's gone, just like your dead brother.

You despise yourself, fucking torn between wanting to scream so loud, and wanting to stay quite because what's the point? No one was gonna hear you, you're in far too deep in his abyss for someone to hear even the slightest plea. If only someone could save you from this mess.

If only.

Such silly thing it was, to hope and to have faith that everything's going to be alright. However, this was the reality. There's no point in hoping when there's always fear and rage lurking in the back of your mind. There were no miracles, no fairy tails, no happy endings. Just the cold, hard truth, waiting to strike on the right opportunity and completely ruin you.

You continued to walk down the hallway, searching for your locker. Each step was a pain for you that longer you stayed there, fearing that one of your friends would see you. You just _hope_ that none of them does.

The moment you saw John running to you, you can't help but think bitterly to yourself that why did you even bother? You got to try and hope and it only backfires at you in the cruelest of ways. Because seriously, out of all friends that could see you first, it had to be John.

When just pulls you into a hug, it immediately hurt when he squeezed your arms, making the lacerations inflicted there to scream in pain. It hurt and the only thing to make it stop was to push him away.

It only made things worse, though. Because it hurt more when you saw John's disheartened look after it. You felt guilty and angry at yourself for making him feel like shit. You're such a terrible person, goddamn it. He doesn't deserve any of this, he doesn't deserve you.

You then notice Karkat and Terezi hurrying their way towards you as well, you fucking felt sick. You fucked up big time and you hurt yourself again when you promised to them that you _wouldn't_ anymore. It's making you bear more pain and guilt and hatred and god fucking damn it, everything feels so shitty right now.

You wanted it so bad to just let go of things just then and there. To fucking give up the facade and just cry right in front of them to see how much you're hurting and how much everything just feels so wrong and fucked up. You wanted them to hold you and let you know that you're safe and that no one's gonna hurt. You wanted to feel whole again.

You wanted a lot of things, but that's too bad since things aren't always going to be the way you'd want them to be.

They kept asking you questions about what happened. Questions that you don't want to answer because they're better left unanswered. You don't want to burden them any longer, you're a shitty friend anyway.

Eventually, you snapped at them - or rather, at John - and all three of them immediately shut up. Their eyes were wide, surprised and hurt. You then left them, feeling guilty and not wanting to see their faces any longer. Because it hurt the most when you bite back at them, all harsh and angry when they don't even deserve it. They didn't do anything to you, they're just helping like what normal friends would do.

You briskly walked away from them, never looking back. You're not sure whether to feel relieved or sad when none of them even bothered to follow you.

The more you stepped away from them, the more your chest felt heavy. You could almost feel yourself tremble as you strode forwards. Everything just... hurt.

You thought to yourself, don't break, and all will be fine.

Don't break.

Don't break.

_Don't break_.

* * *

You're not surprised when twenty minutes later, you saw Karkat running up to you, his face as grumpy as ever. He called out your name, once, twice, thrice. You don't look at him, though, you can't even stand to look at him. Not when you broke one of your promises to him.

He finally caught up, gripping your shoulder and making you turn around. You kept your eyes trained onto the end of the hallway, not lowering it to look at his angry yet worried gray eyes.

Then he started talking, and talking, and blabbering about who knows what. Probably about you and what happened that caused your change in mood.

Funny how it's just only yesterday that you showed John your eyes, when you hugged him and when you had fun with him. When you were feeling so... free.

But now you can't even muster up to feel that way. Maybe you're just too afraid now to even think that you'll ever be free. That maybe if you ever believe that, your freedom will be taken from you and you'll get hurt again.

Karkat went on with his ramblings, you've managed to tune out about ninety-nine percent of what he was saying. You've got to hand it to him, the effort he's giving was so great as he continued on trying to know what's wrong. Trying to help you, even if you can't help him back.

Because all you've done was to be a shitty friend. Worthless, and pathetic, and one who breaks their promise.

"Karkat, just stop." you cut him off from whatever he was saying, startling him.

"Strider," he resumed. "You sure do know that we're your friends and that we're worried fucking sick. Was it Richard and his friends? Was it Candace? Just tell me, god fucking damn it. It's unhealthy if you're just gonna keep things all to yourself, you need to talk to someone. You can't just face whatever this is all on your own."

You gritted your teeth, letting your left hand tug at your right's wrist. For some sort of reason, the wounds on your arms felt a lot heavier to bear. They care so, _so_ much about you. How do they even fucking do that without getting tired?

"I can't..." you started, and somehow, you have no idea what to say. "Just not now, I just need some time alone, okay? I promise I'll tell you when I'm ready."

_'Again with the promises?'_ you thought to yourself. You also wondered if you'll also manage to break this one.

Karkat didn't refrain from looking at you with worried eyes for a while. Eventually, he let out a tired, defeated sigh. "Fine," he relented.

At first, you thought that he'd just turn away from you and start walking. But then he stretched out his arms and grabbed you by your torso, wrapping them around it. He buried his face in your sweater, squeezing you tight. He had managed not to press on your arms, so it wasn't that painful (despite the littering bruises on your torso) compared to when John hugged you. Still, you stood there, awkward and unsure of what to do.

"You just take good care of yourself, 'kay?" your best friend whispered in the hug, muffled by your sweater. "As cheesy as it is when I say, but I can't fucking bear to see you like this. I know I'm not gonna get anything from you just yet, but I'm _never_ giving up on you. We're never giving up on you, just remember that."

You're so tempted to make a sarcastic quip to him, comment on how much of a sap he is. But once again, you're just too tired to even bother and come up with an answer. And you're sure that Karkat understands that.

Seconds later, you raise an arm (in spite of it protesting in the strain) and pat his head. Your fingertips ran gingerly (haha) through his ginger hair. You don't really hug back, but it's a gesture you're willing to show Karkat that you'll be fine. And he seemed to relax more with it.

He broke the hug seconds later, looking at you with soft gentle eyes. You felt a little ashamed under his scrutiny so you broke eye contact with him, staring at the floor between you. "I'm sorry."

Karkat shook his head. "No need to apologize, dipshit, you didn't do anything wrong."

You don't answer. But he's wrong because you _did_ something wrong, you've been a shitty friend. You're making your friends worry about you so much.

In the end, you only answered with another 'I'm sorry'. Because it's the only thing that you could say to them that was true, that you're sorry. So fucking sorry.

He frowned at that, before speaking up again. "At least talk to John about some things. I don't care what things, you could not dump everything on him just yet if you want, but at least try and talk to him. Because knowing you, you'd probably ignore him, and you can't just do that. He's definitely new to this, Dave, be there for him if you want to explain to him that you need some space."

You let out a small nod and he smiled. "Good," he said.

There was a moment of silence between the two of you. When he doesn't talk again for the next fifteen seconds, you started walking away again. This time, he doesn't follow you because he's a good friend. He respected your privacy, understood that all you needed was time and space to yourself. You well knew that he's willing to wait before you tell him anything.

Which was sad, because it looks like he's going to be waiting for a long, long time.

* * *

The school day inevitably ended. The school bell rang throughout the entire school and you're still miserable as hell.

You were right about Richard backing out on you for another couple of days. Because you left the school building without having to deal with them, not even a seeing single sign of them.

You're not sure when they'll harass you again. But damn, you'd be lying if you said you weren't frightened when that happens. With your newly cut arms, it'd be more painful if they'd add more injuries to other parts of your body. You also thought about John defending you again, you honestly have no idea how you'll deal with that one.

Then you noticed said raven-haired boy walking towards you, oh right, your walk-to-home buddy.

You're first thought to yourself: _hell no_.

But then you remembered about what Karkat said. _'Be there for him'_.

The sentence just kept repeating itself again and again in your head as you watched him get nearer to you.

"Hey, Dave," he said once he reached you, his tone as cheerful as ever and his friendly smile, ever so present.

It almost sickened you as you saw his warm, _nice_ smile. How could he stay so nice to you when all you've done to him was nothing but to bring him down? John could have been friends with other people, people who're far better than you. Instead, he chose to be stuck with someone not worth it.

Were you really that worth it?

You don't want to talk to anyone as of now, especially him. Because goddamn it, it would be hella awkward and agonizing if he'd ever try and converse with you. It's complicated and hurtful to even look at him straight in the eye if ever you'd talk to him.

It's sad, if you're going to be honest with yourself, you really liked him.

As more than just a friend, that's for sure.

But you knew that you could never deserve a guy as nice and caring as him. He tried being friends with you and look what that brought you. Your camera in ruins, and your hope that you'd even have a chance with him shattered to bits and pieces. He wouldn't want a fucked up guy like you, a guy who hurts himself for just some stupid camera.

You started walking to the direction towards your house, not uttering a single word to John. You could practically feel his disappointment around the tension in the air.

He then followed seconds later, you caught sight of his tanned hand about to reach yours. But you avoided it by pretending to straighten your sweater, then putting your hands in your pockets. You don't even bother to look as his once again broken hearted expression.

You think it must be your imagination, but everything was just suddenly colder without him pressed by your side, without his hand intertwined with yours.

The walk home was inexplicably quiet and tense. Behind your shades, you could see John giving you worried glances all throughout it. You don't blame him, you're friends after all. Still, you don't talk to him despite his attempts. And if you do, your replies to him would be short and strained, and your voice small and empty.

He eventually gave up, making the rest of the trip silent. You welcomed the silence warmly as it dawned between the two of you.

Somehow, John spoke up again, right when you passed by the nearby park. "Hey, you wanna hang out in my house today? I know it's a school day, but we don't really have homework and we don't have any hard quizzes for tomorrow. We could play video games or watch a movie, I'm pretty sure my dad wouldn't mind if you'd join us for dinner."

You knew he wanted to cheer you up. That's why he's offering now out of all times, so you almost instantaneously declined. Not to mention that Candace might not like the thought of that considering what happened last night. Yet Karkat's words kept repeating in your head like a weird mantra. 

Be there for him.

So you thought to yourself, _'you know what, fuck it'_. Fine, you'll be there for him. At least you'd get to try to be a better friend for him, be someone who he truly deserves. You'll just have to deal with your foster mom later, it's not like she could anything worse to you now. After all, she had broken your camera, which was the worst thing that could possibly happen.

"Sure," you finally answered.

He seemed awfully surprised, you guessed he doesn't expect you to agree so quickly. His shock was immediately replaced with uttermost happiness. You noticed his bright blue eyes lightening up and his huge, toothy, adorable grin returning. It's borderline contagious, you think you could easily return the smile if you weren't feeling so shitty right now.

After that, you could practically see him bouncing on his steps out of excitement as he continued walking. He's like an oversized puppy, you swear, he's going to be the end of you.

He's so nice, he's so cheerful, he's so cute, and he's just so fucking perfect.

Too bad you can't have him.

Great, you just made yourself miserable again.

Goddamn it, Strider, don't you dare fucking break. Just be there for John, and everything will be fine.

* * *

Once you entered to John's house, your first thought to yourself was what if John's dad noticed your change in your mood too. But then you kinda remembered that the man was working 'til late. So you and John pretty much have the whole house all to yourself.

Your blue-eyed friend asked you what do you want to for today. You replied with a mere shrug, much to his disappointment that you're still hardly verbal.

John gave you a look, unamused. "You know, if you won't give me a proper answer, I'd just watch Con-Air and force you to watch with me. I know how much you hate that movie." he threatened seriously and you let out a snort.

"You know my weaknesses too well, Egbert." you replied, a corner of your mouth slightly twitching upward.

Seeing the tiny smirk on your face, John's face lit up like a Christmas tree again. There was a look of satisfaction, pride, and happiness, it was as if he just won the greatest prize in the world.

At least you're good at one thing, which was making John smile.

"Again, what do you wanna do?" he asked for the second time. You let out a shrug again, only this time, with a verbal response.

"I dunno, man, I'm pretty much down with anything."

"So, it'll be alright with you if we'd watch Con-Air?"

"Fuck no, anything but that."

And with that, John's laughter rang throughout the entire living room. You'd be lying if you said that didn't help in easing this tight feeling on your chest.

See, this was the thing about John. Even when he knows that things were going to shit, it's as if things were perfectly fine for him. So he keeps on smiling and laughing and being the happy person he is.

Throughout your time with him, he doesn't acknowledge your sudden change in your mood, even if he knows that something's happened. Hell, he didn't even mention about you snapping at him from hours earlier, and you're honestly kinda relieved because of that.

The only way he helps was by cheering you up and making you happy again. And for the sake of John, you let him know that it's somehow working by giving him small but genuine smiles.

You're still well-aware that he kept on giving you concerned glances from time to time. His eyes would land on the bruise sporting on your cheek. You also knew that his constant worry must be eating him for the past few hours, given on how much jittery he could be whenever there's an awkward silence between the two of you.

Physical contact was still a huge _no_ , save for the few occasional brushing and bumping. As long as he kept his distance normally from you, everything's fine.

That was until you fucking tripped on the carpet.

And yes, you fucking tripped. You highly blame your shitty eyesight and your darkened vision because of it. You almost toppled onto the floor, making a complete fool out of yourself. But suddenly, strong hands grabbed you by the arms, keeping you steady.

You were then met with the thick chest of one John Egbert up on your front. His face was so fucking close that _god_ , those eyes were so fucking blue it could literally put any blue gemstone into shame.

You almost didn't notice the gashes on your arms burning in pain with the contact of John's firm grip.

"Ow, _fuck_ ," you hissed, flailing away from his hands. In your momentary panic, you've managed to thrash away from him but somehow tripping yourself again, making you fall on the floor ass first. Ow.

John first looked at you with wide eyes, then at his hands that you got away from. Confused, he stared at you again. "Dave, do you have more bruises on your arms?"

You instantly went rigid. Fuck, fuck, he cannot know.

John must have taken your nervousness as a 'yes', so he proceeded. "I know you probably don't want to talk about anything yet, but could you at least let me take care of them? We've got some ointment in the bathroom, it could help."

Shit, shit, shit. Nope, nope, hell no.

"Uh - there's no need for that," you muttered, voice strained. However, John doesn't seem to be convinced at that. He knelt in front of you, reaching out for one of your arms. You merely steer clear of it, scrambling away from him.

John frowned, although still not backpedaling. "Dave, I insist, stop being such a huge baby and let me take care of you. You haven't had any problem with it the last time, why would now be any more different?"

"John, I _insist_ that you don't have to waste your time with me and my problems. I'm fine, I'm okay, you don't have to fucking worry about me."

"You didn't seem to be fine when I held your arms, nor when I saw you earlier on lunch. Don't fucking lie to me, I'm your friend and I want to help."

"I don't need -"

"No," he cut you off, glaring at you, all frustrated and angry, and fuck did that send shivers down to your spine. "I hate seeing you this way, Dave. I hate seeing you hurt, I hate seeing you sad, I hate seeing that you're _not_ fine."

He finally took hold of your hand, pulling it towards him. You don't want for him to know, but at the same time, you don't want him to be mad at you. So you don't bother to struggle away from him anymore, you only sat there, frozen.

"And I hate not being able to fucking do anything..." John pushes up the sleeve of your sweater, showing the white bandages underneath. "about it..."

You were so _fucked_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Coming up next, mORE ANGST


	13. The Forgotten

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _"Don’t look away from the arms of a moment,_   
>  _Don’t look away from the arms of tomorrow,_   
>  _Don’t look away from the arms of a moment,_   
>  _Don’t look away from the arms of love"_
> 
> * * *
> 
> John gets more friend privileges, he gets to know about the third option.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I swear, John's becoming more and more like a therapist within each passing chapter... Also, I can't believe that this one particular Monday was covered for about, THREE CHAPTERS like wtf aksjghaksjdhgalkhgadfkl
> 
> ANYWAY, here's some angst AHAHAHAAHAH.  
> And also some fluff at the next half (two-thirds? idek) of the chapter, so dun worry. Enjoy! :)

You looked down with wide eyes at the bandaged arm that you were currently gripping. You probably didn't even noticed it but your grip on Dave was becoming tighter and tighter.

Slowly, you pushed up the sleeve of his sweater some more up until Dave's shoulder. Much to your surprise, Dave doesn't stop you from doing it and just sat there tense and dreading. You saw that the bandages were reaching up to the skin just below his shoulder and you immediately felt sick.

Bruises don't need to be covered with bandages, open wounds do.

"Who did this?" you started, voice tight and strained. It's taking a whole lot of your willpower to not go into a raging fit. Because fucking shit, Dave's more hurt than you thought he would be.

You saw him biting his bottom lip, nervous. He tried to pry your hand away but your hold on him was almost steel-like. Knowing that you're not just gonna let this go, he looked away from you, ashamed and still not answering you.

Now, you know that he might not want to share anything with you, but whoever did this had gone too far. At this point, you don't care if you'd get in trouble if you'd beat the shit out of whoever did this. Of whoever _hurt_ Dave like this. So you pressed even further, "Dave, answer me."

You're honestly surprised when the blond answered too quickly.

But what even more surprised you was the answer itself.

"It was me..."

You went rigid as you heard, just like him a few seconds ago. At first, you thought that maybe you just misheard him, but then Dave started trembling. As if he was fearing on how you would react, just like he did when you first saw his eyes. He let out a shaky breath, still not meeting your gaze.

"Why?" you then asked, well-aware that your voice was starting to rise. You glared at the white coverings on his arm, but it's not that you're angry at him. You're more frustrated, confused on why he did it. Why would he do this to himself? Why, why, why?

" _Why_?!" you all but screamed, to which Dave visibly flinched at. You didn't mean to scare him or anything if you're being honest. You're just - you just fucking hate the fact that Dave had to inflict this kind of pain on himself. That you weren't there to make things better for him. That you had let this happen.

And that's when you heard the sniffling.

You instantly looked up, you saw Dave, still trembling like a leaf. At the first few moments, let kept on letting out small, almost inaudible sniffles. He proceeded by wiping away something from his eyes behind his shades with his other hand. The other, still on your hand in a vice grip.

Seconds later, his breath started to become more erratic, like he's starting to hyperventilate. You then move into action, gently removing his shades from his face and putting them on a nearby surface.

Somehow, the blond doesn't even bother to cover up his eyes, like what he did yesterday at the church. He just stared at you, completely bearing himself to you, all fragile and vulnerable. His beautiful (oh, so beautiful) red eyes were rimmed in the dampness of the tears that's urging to be shed. There were wide and so full of emotion, and all you could see was uttermost sadness.

And just seeing it made your heart ache.

You don't want to see Dave be sad ever again.

"I'm sorry," he then muttered, voice broken and choked on with his own sobs. You're taken aback, why was he apologizing?

"Dave, what -"

"I'm sorry," he said again, stopping you from whatever you're saying. Then the first tear dropped, sliding its way down on his cheek. His breath was still uneven and ragged, and you don't know what to do. "I'm sorry."

He closed his red eyes, shaking his head as more tears fell from them. He continued on muttering the same words over and over again.

 _'I'm sorry'_.

You just stared at him, dumbfounded. All your hate, your anger, your frustration just earlier, gone. What's left was heartbreak as you see this boy, this _beautiful_ boy so broken, crying and apologizing for something that probably wasn't his fault.

You didn't even hesitate when you reached for his smaller form. You grabbed his midsection, carrying him by his armpits and dragging him to your lap. Once he's settled on your lap, Dave wrapped his arms around your neck while burying his head in your chest.

You could hear him wracking out loud sobs, loud enough to ring throughout the almost empty room. You now felt a damp spot on your shirt from where he's cry, but you don't find yourself caring.

So you just let him cry in your arms just then and there. You soothingly traced your hands across his back, nimble fingers gracing his spine in an attempt to calm him. It was mostly silent if it weren't for his continuous sobbing and the reassuring whispers that pour out of your mouth.

"It's okay, shhh... You'll be fine, everything's fine. Just let it all out, Dave, it's okay..."

You almost wanted to cry yourself to, but you immediately opposed to the idea. The least you can do was be the stronger one between the two of you because that's what Dave needed right now. Someone stronger that would let him know that everything's going to be okay. Someone to tell him that no one's gonna hurt him and that he's safe.

The two of you stayed like that for a very long time. Five minutes, ten minutes, fifteen minutes, you don't care. As long as Dave lets it all out, you're fine with it. Because it'd be better to let it all out, especially if it's kept to himself for rather long time. And knowing Dave, that was probably true.

Finally, he stopped crying, but he didn't withdraw away from your embrace just yet. He stayed like that, curled up to you like a small child, not that you're complaining. He was silent, maybe almost too silent that you thought that he fell asleep.

But then he spoke up.

"Candace broke my camera."

Within an instant, you froze, frowning and confused. "What?"

"That bitch broke my camera into pieces. Threw it away like some measly pile of garbage," he stated tiredly, his voice was hoarse from all the crying. "That's why I did it."

Candace, Dave's _foster mother_ , broke one of Dave's most prized possessions. His camera. His camera that's so important to him. That enabled for him to cope with his brother's death and that also made him the talented photographer he was now.

How dare she fucking do that?

Being the kind of person you were, it's hard to let that sink in because you honestly thought that she was nice. Yet somehow, it made so much sense. About Dave's behavior towards her, about her being so goddamn strict to him, about the _third option_.

How could you be so fucking blind about all this?

But that doesn't matter anymore because you know the truth now. What matters now is that you have to take care of Dave. He needed you now more than ever.

"I could still tend your wounds," you offered softly.

It's his turn to freeze up, he uncurls himself from you to look at you with a genuinely surprised expression. "Y - you're not mad?"

"What makes you think that I'll be mad at you?" you answered with a gentle smile.

You caught him shrugging awkwardly. "I dunno, I just - I did something wrong. I should never have done something like that because of some idiotic camera..."

"No, don't say that." you quickly replied. "It wasn't just 'some stupid camera', Dave, it was something _important_ to you. It's plain unacceptable that she'd just take that away from you and ruin it. You didn't do anything wrong."

"But it's fucked up... _I'm_ fucked up, I hurt myself."

"No, you're not. It's just - other people's way of coping with sadness. Now that your camera, your coping mechanism, is gone, you'd have to deal and cope with the pain with another method. And it just so happens that you... picked that one."

Dave doesn't answer to that, so you decided to continue. "There's nothing wrong with picking that one, Dave. It's not fucked up but I don't want you to ever do that again, okay? The next time you feel shitty, the best way to cope is by telling someone close to you. Like Karkat or Terezi, or maybe even me. Just promise me you that you wouldn't have to face your problems alone."

"I can't."

"Why not?"

"I might just break it again."

'Again'. Fuck, does that mean that this was not the first time he did it?

"I don't care," you replied tightly. "Just promise me, and promise me that you'll never break it."

The blond merely stared downward, not returning your gaze. It's not a while later when he finally replied. "Okay, I promise."

You supplied a warm grin at him. "Thank you."

* * *

Dave did let you tend to his wounds. So now the two of you were inside the bathroom, Dave sat on the closed lid of the toilet why you take care of his injuries. Upon doing so, Dave would have to strip away his top so you could have better access to the cuts.

When he got rid of his sweater, you can't help but frown at the littering black and blue bruises spreading all over his chest, back, and stomach area. "Did she did these too?" you asked, tracing your fingertips at the nasty marks. You immediately stopped once you saw the blond wincing as you do so.

Dave doesn't meet you gaze for a little while, his face flushing red in discomfort. Moments later, he gave out a meek nod before turning towards you again. "She's done it ever since she got custody of me."

You felt your teeth involuntarily gritting out in aggravation. Damn, you fucking hate that bitch now.

But you decided that now's not the proper moment to plan a revenge tactic for his foster mom, focusing on the matter at hand, Dave.

You first chose to deal with his cuts. You unwrapped the bandages from both of his arms, revealing the sickening red lines. Again, Dave doesn't look at you as you studied them.

They were just so... many, god, it hurt you just seeing them. There were several lacerations scattered at his soft pale skin. Most of them were fresh, although you still see the much older and healed scars under the new ones.

Grabbing the soap near the shower, you proceeded to clean the cuts as thoroughly and as gently as possible. You'd get an occasional hiss out of him as you run your fingers at them. You ignored it and continued even if you felt a little guilty because of that. But it'll be much worse for Dave if his wounds wouldn't be tended well.

Moments later, you rinse away the soap from his arms. His pants got wet in the process, but he only shrugged it off. You then put some iodine in them before wrapping up his arms again with a new bandage.

"You know, your previous bandages was poorly donned." you commented.

"Yeah well, it's hard to come by with your arms hurting like a motherfucker," was the reply you got from him. You almost snicker at his sass, at least Dave's emotionally fine now.

As for his bruises, you grabbed a special ointment from the mirror cabinet, then knelt in from of him. You scooped out some of it using your index and middle finger before rubbing them at his bruises. You saw him wincing in pain again as you applied pressure to them.

Once you're finished with his midsection and his back, you turned to his face next. You caught sight of the bruise on his left cheek so you cup one of your hands in right one. He tensed a little, and you let him adjust, after a few seconds, he relaxed and leaned into your touch.

You kneaded the lotion on his left cheekbone. He flinched slightly at the contact before going slack again. You stared at him, especially his unshaded eyes. Once he noticed, he blushes under your scrutiny, face turning into an adorable shade red.

Red like his eyes that you love most about him.

You let out a chuckle at his bashfulness. He half-heartedly glared in return, muttering a 'shut up' before bossing you to get the job done.

A few seconds later, you completed said job, announcing it to him. He stood up, momentarily gazing at you before pulling you into a warm hug.

"Thank you," he muttered, words muffled by your shirt. "I just - fuck, I can't even fathom how much nice you are to me. I would never know what I've done to goddamn deserve a guy just like you."

Although he can't really see it, you let out a soft smile, good thing that Dave's somehow opening up again. "You don't need to 'do anything' to deserve some love, Dave. Everyone deserves to have it regardless of their actions."

"I know... But -"

"Then there's no need to get yourself worked up, you hear me?" you then felt him nod against your chest.

"Good," you mumbled, reaching down to kiss the crown of his smooth pale blond hair.

Within an instant, Dave went as stiff as a statue and broke the hug with that. At first, you feared that you somehow overstepped your boundaries with the gesture. But then you saw him grinning a little at you, his crimson eyes beaming in happiness. "Stop being such a fucking sap, Egbert, you're gonna make me cry again."

Your smile widened a fraction. Goddamn it, you love him so much.

* * *

By the time the sun started to set, you got a message from your dad that he'd be coming home a little late that usual. So you decided to cook yourself and Dave some dinner. You've always learned how to cook meals by yourself since there were times like this where your dad would be late from work. You've prepared a dish that was fairly easy to cook, making some extra for Dave.

"John, I swear, you don't have to cook dinner for me. I could just go to Candace's house and eat there." Dave protested, you simply shook your head.

"Aww, come on," you whined. "Could you just stay a little longer for dinner? Don't be such a worrywart, you big dummy, everything will be fiiiiine."

"Dude, seriously -"

"Or you could just stay the night!" you shouted in delight. "I mean - I told you, we don't have homework or a hard test tomorrow. And I'm sure my dad will be super fine with that. You could just stay in the guest bedroom. Or in my bedroom, if you like, you could take the bed while I lay an extra mattress or something."

"But what if Can -"

"I'm not letting you go back to that fucking house with her, Dave." you insisted, voice suddenly twinging in protectiveness. 

The blond immediately closed his mouth with your abrupt, ordering tone. You then saw him fidgeting, anxious and edgy, toying with the hem of his shirt. "Okay," he finally acceded. "But only for one night. I can't stay away from her for far too long."

You smiled once again, feeling giddy as excitement rushed throughout your entire chest. "That's nice! I could just have dad call her and explain to her that you'd be sleeping over."

"Yeah sure," he nodded. "Also, make an excuse that we have a very hard test coming up and that we agreed to study together for the rest of the night. That way she'd think that we would have something important to do or something."

"But does that mean that my dad has to think that we have a test too even if we actually don't? Dave, I don't like lying to my dad."

He shrugged. "Well, you either have to lie to Candace and to your dad or risk her not letting me stay. Come on, dude, I'm sure she'd let me sleep over if she thinks that it's about school or something. She wants me to focus more on my studies, that's why she broke my camera in the goddamn first place..."

Your eyebrows furrowed at what he said. "She broke your camera because she wants you to study more?"

It took seconds before Dave speaks up again. When he does, his voice was quiet, barely audible. "Pretty much, apparently my average grades are quite 'not enough' for her. She says I'm getting distracted too much with all my photography shit."

You felt another wave of anger and hate surge through your veins, clenching your hands just a little more at the pan and spatula you're holding.

It was just so fucking unfair, she's supposed to be a fucking _parent_ for Dave. She's supposed to take care of him even though he's not her biological son. To serve as someone who Dave could consider as family, because Dave no longer has one.

That was why she's given custody of him, to fill that empty part of him that was meant for family. That's why she's a fucking foster mother for fucking christ's sake.

It was just plain wrong to treat someone like that, to abuse someone like that. To take away their hopes, their dreams, their _happiness_ , and tear them apart bit by bit. It's wrong, it's cruel, and you just fucking hate people who're like that. You hate it most when they could just get away with it with a single snap. Richarch and his friends, and most especially, Candace Peixes.

You're just so tempted to call the motherfucking police right now. You'd spill everything to them and completely give her the treatment she truly deserves.

But then your thoughts went straight to Dave. What happens to Dave if ever he's released from her custody? Surely, he'd land on another house since he's in the system. But what if he's new foster parents would be as cruel as the last one? Or let's stay they aren't really cruel, but what if they still can't supply the love and care that Dave needed and deserved?

Dave was such a great guy. He's nice, he's funny, he's witty, he's creative, he's talented in so many ways.

Dave's downright _amazing_ , and he's worthy of more love anyone could ever give.

"Yo, Egbert, you spacing out on me or what?" Said blond then piped up. "At least save us and not let the house burn. I'm pretty sure whatever you're cooking down there is about to catch fire."

Startled, you instantly snapped out of your daze. You panicked and promptly winded the stove button for the flaming burner, turning it off. Dave was right, the dinner you just prepared may or may not have overcooked a little.

Needless to say, Dave still complimented your work the moment he first shoved a spoonful in his mouth when the two of you ate for dinner.

About thirty minutes later, your dad finally arrived and you greeted him with a warm hug. You explained to him about the made up test you and Dave were gonna study overnight. And that the blond was gonna sleep over and that your dad had to make a phone call about this for his foster mom.

There were no surprises when your dad agreed to it in a heartbeat, welcoming Dave like one of his own as always. And fortunately, Candace also let Dave stay in for the night when your dad called her. You and Dave well knew that she could never say 'no' to your dad, being the 'kind' and 'sweet' person she was.

Another thirty minutes later, you and Dave had retreated back in your room to 'study' for the rest of the night.

Hell yes, mission accomplish.

The two of you mainly just spent the rest of the night talking about lots of things. Just like your usual times whenever you hang out after school, only this time, you've got all the time you need. About three hours or so passed and you noticed that Dave's head occasionally starts to droop. His red eyes lined with drowsiness, trying so hard for them to stay open.

"Sleepy already?" you asked him, amused.

You get a small, cute pout and a yawn from him. "Didn't get much sleep last night, to be perfectly honest, I could very much use some shut eye."

"Okay, let's get ready to bed."

Then Dave's eyes went wide. "Wait, John, I don't have any pajamas. Or anything to wear for school tomorrow. Shit, we should have thought this through."

You simply snickered, god, he's just so fucking endearing, it's almost illegal. "I'll let you borrow some smaller and older clothes."

Dave gave you a look as if to contemplate on whether you actually exist. Eventually, he muttered. "Mmm, 'kay."

After that, the two of you indeed got ready for bed. You switched into pajamas (the smallest clothes you could find for him was still a little bit bigger than him, so the shirt and sweatpants just pooled out everywhere and he's just so fucking cute in them) and brushed your teeth (Dave used a new and unused toothbrush that you and your dad store just in case).

You ended up sharing the bed since Dave doesn't want to kick you out of your own bed. He also doesn't want to sleep in the guest room because he doesn't want to sleep in a room alone. He didn't explain why, but you don't comment about it since you're not gonna complain.

You'd definitely love to share a bed with Dave.

Once you're settled on the bed, Dave surprised you by shifting closer to you and wrapping his arms around your torso. "Good night, John," he mumbled sleepily, eyes drifting close.

You became tense for a good five seconds, but then you felt yourself grinning like an idiot. It's not a while before you slipped in an arm to his waist, tugging him closer to you.

You don't fail to notice his own satisfied smile creeping up to his face.

Being your usual gay self, you stared at the sleeping blond beside you for a little while longer. Having to let go of all his problems, all his tension, all his stress, he just looked so peaceful, so calm, so... beautiful.

You felt your heart beating against your chest, a huge wave of protectiveness washing over you. You remembered when you held him in your arms as you let him cry just hours earlier. You've never seen someone so sad and broken.

You have everything within you when you promised yourself that you would do _anything_ to not see him sad ever again.

You wanted him to be happy, and you're more than willing to see him smile once more.

Your eyes finally closed in fatigue. You found yourself drifting into soothing slumber with a warm grin on your face.

It was truly a good night indeed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...  
>  g ay


	14. I Wouldn't Mind

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _"Carefully we're placed for our destiny,_   
>  _You came and you took this heart, and set it free"_
> 
> * * *
> 
> More gayness is starting to unfold.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this chapter is like, super pesterlog heavy. It's shorter than most chapters but the logs (specifically John and Dave's) would cover most of the stuff that would happen in the next two chapters.
> 
> As usual, enjoy!

It's been roughly one month ever since John had found out about your self-harming. Since he decided to take care of your wounds. Since he let you stay for the night just so you won't have to deal with your foster mom.

One month since you laid there that night on his bed right beside him, feeling whole again.

Goddamn John and his nice goddamn self.

The very next day you spilled everything to Karkat and Terezi. About your camera, about the cuts, about John being there to help you out. It was a lot to take in for them, and a whole lot to say for yourself. You wouldn't help but feel ashamed and anxious about how they would react.

By the time you finished explaining what happened, you finally looked at their faces and expressions. There was no trace of disappointment, nor hate, nor disgust, nor _pity_. Just utter concern and relief. Concerned because they're worried that you've done it again. Relief maybe because you're feeling alright now, all thanks to a certain John Egbert.

Even your bullies don't show as often anymore. Perhaps the scare John gave away for them was more effective than you thought. You're not surprised when the whole school just started talking about you and John being together. But it's still quite mortifying, in your opinion. And you could still get mean glares and sneers from different students.

But, of course, you knew better than to be affected by them and those rumors. And John would easily out-glare them whenever you're with him when someone does that, so you guessed it's fine. Heh, they could never glare at you ever again.

John had already had made quite a reputation of someone you don't want to mess with. There were also some people who respected him, looked up at him for his bravery in standing up for someone. And that someone namely: you. And you're just so goddamn grateful for that.

You still often feel shitty about not having a camera anymore. After all this time ever since your brother died, the only hobby that you could ever enjoy was taking photos. You can't make music anymore since your turntables from when you're thirteen were pretty much sold.

And the only thing that made singing fun was whenever you sing songs for John while he's playing the piano. But you could only that after church hours and when you visit his house sometimes. However, you can't visit his house all the time because there's still Candace.

So whenever you go home after school, - John still walks you home, that fucking gentleman - you couldn't be more shitty than you could ever be.

Seeing her, it just ruined your whole day despite your fun hangouts with your friends. Seeing her, you always remembered what she did to your precious camera and when she almost beat you into a pulp. Seeing her, it made you absolutely terrified.

She'd still find ways to be angry at you for almost every single fucking time. Even the littlest of reasons, she'd turn it into something worse. Just so she could have an excuse for beating you. Sure, it's not as bad as when you lost your camera. It's just some occasional face slapping or hair pulling, but it still lets you feel like shit.

You tried to ignore most of it. After all, you could just make yourself happy again by talking to your friends on Pesterchum.

It was mostly as if things were the way they used to be.

That was, until one day, a certain blue-eyed dork asked you something.

* * *

\-- ectoBiologist [EB] started pestering turntechGodhead [TG] at 17:53 --

EB: dave!   
EB: dave, are you there?   
EB: dave, dave, dave, dave, dave.   
EB: come on, man, where are you?   
EB: dave?   
EB: daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaave.   
EB: i have something important to say to you!   
EB: answer meeeee!   
TG: jesus fucking christ on a pogo stick what the hell man  
TG: can i not leave you hanging for nearly two minutes without flooding me with all your blue walls of text  
EB: umm, no, not really.  
EB: it's really rude to leave your friends hanging for far too long, dude.  
TG: egbert its only for two goddamn minuteS  
EB: that's still considered as 'two' long in best friend relationships  
TG: wow  
TG: no  
EB: hehehehe  
TG: well no need to get your panties in a twist the not so long awaited cool kid is here  
TG: what do you want  
TG: whats this oh so important thing that you needed to tell me  
EB: ahahah well...   
TG: well?   
EB: i - uh, i've been thinking about something lately...   
TG: and that something is  
EB: umm since we've grown pretty closer for the past month. and by 'closer', i meant waaaay closer than any kind of friend would ever be.  
EB: i decided to myself that i want to do something... nice for you.  
TG: 'nice'  
TG: egbert youve been doing lots of hella nice things for me ever since weve goddamn met what more could you do for me that would be considered as 'nice'  
EB: i want to take you out on saturday.   
TG: ...  
TG: take me out?  
EB: well, yes, i'd like to take you to the mall so that we could watch a movie on the cinemas. it could be your pick if you want, i'm pretty much down with all kinds of movies anyway.   
EB: we could also buy some popcorn and sodas that we could bring and eat in the theater.   
EB: there'd be lunch too. don't worry, we won't be dining in some fancy, five-star restaurant. we'll only be eating at that quirky looking diner on the ground floor of the mall.   
EB: you could order or ANYTHING you want, go fucking ballistic if you want to, i don't really care.   
EB: and everything will be my treat. :D  
EB: also i was thinking of this other surprise that i'd like to do for you. like some sort of a finale or some other shit. i can't tell you anything about for now because well, duh, it's a secret!   
EB: but i'm positive that you'll like it.   
EB: i'm sure that's a nice enough thing to do for you, don't you think?  
EB: dave?  
EB: are you still there? don't leave me hanging for the second time, dude.   
TG: im here  
EB: phew, thank goodness.  
EB: well? what do you think?  
TG: you want to take me out???  
EB: yes, dave! that's exactly what i'm offering here, pay attention. do you accept or not?   
EB: it's definitely fine if you don't want to, though, we could just go out for coffee or something. still my treat.  
TG: youre willing to spend that much of money just to take me out?  
EB: umm, yes? why, is there something wrong with that?   
TG: where the flipping hell do you even get that enough money  
EB: from my dad, duh.   
EB: well, actually, i've been saving up my allowance for this particular date. though i'm still thinking of asking for more money from him, just to be sure.   
EB: i think my dad would also lend me the car, i dunno, i'm still gonna ask.   
TG: 'date'  
EB: ahahahahaha well...  
EB: it could be a friendly date or something! just two bros on a definitely PLATONIC date.  
TG: john are you serious about this  
EB: well, yes! although i already told you, you could turn the offer or something.   
EB: there won't be any hard feelings, i swear.   
TG: i just  
TG: i cant believe youre actually willing to spend all that money for me  
TG: like seriously are you even for real  
EB: well, the last time i checked, i am.   
EB: also, i don't mind spending it, as long as it could make you happy. that's what friends do, right?   
TG: hmm  
TG: okay i accept your offer for a definitely platonic date on saturday  
TG: but at least let me pay half of the stuff  
EB: i'm sorry, dave, but no can do. i believe i'd have to pay all that's needed to be paid with my cash, and my cash only.   
EB: you wouldn't want all those days of me saving money to go all to waste now, would you?   
TG: i dont want it to go to waste  
TG: i just dont want you to waste it for me  
EB: let me repeat these words again to you: LET ME DO SOMETHING NICE FOR YOU.   
EB: i want to do this, dave, for my best bro in the world. :D  
EB: what would make me happy the most is to see my best bro happy and well-given of the treatment he truly deserves.   
EB: and there's no arguing with the magical bonds of friendship, dave.   
TG: wow i can never stop you from spending your money on me can i  
EB: yep.   
TG: fiiiiiiiiiiiine ill go to your definitely platonic date on saturday and let you pay for all the expenses  
TG: im not gonna ask a lot of you though  
EB: dont worry on over-spending too much. i told you, i'd still ask money from my dad. so go nuts in asking what you want.  
EB: i wanna spoil you rotten, dave, buy you the finer things in life. lay you down on a bed of roses and all the jazz.   
TG: im not sure if what i gained was a best friend or a sugar daddy from the first time we met was   
EB: why not both? ;)  
TG: wow real fucking smooth man  
EB: the smoothest. ;)  
EB: anyway, i need to go. i still need to plan more about our friendly date, gotta make sure that everything will perfect.   
TG: god you are such a fucking dork  
EB: i know, but you still love me.  
TG: you know i do  
EB: hehe bye, dave!  
TG: later dude

\-- ectoBiologist [EB] ceased pestering turntechGodhead [TG] at 18:36 --

You stared at the computer screen as you saw him logging out. You're not entirely sure of what had just happened.

John Egbert had asked you out.

On a 'friendly' date.

With just the two of you.

Alone.

You'd definitely be lying if you said that you weren't flipping your shit right now. Like what the actual fuck.

It was just so weird, you know it shouldn't be such a goddamn surprise to you anymore since John's just being his usual nice self. But... he just literally asked you out.

You've never been asked out all your life.

Goddamn it, the worse thing was that you shouldn't be fucking freaking out right now. Just like what John said, it's just a totally platonic date. Just two best bros going out and having some fun.

Only that it's his treat, also his money will be spent on you. And it's definitely like one of those cliche romantic dates on sappy romance movies.

It's weird.

It's weird that you're suddenly feeling rather light headed right now. It's weird that your stomach's doing weird somersaults. It's weird that your heart was beating so fast, thumping against your ribcage as if it wanted to escape. It's weird that your face was burning and flushing with heat right now.

You're not even supposed to _feel_ this way! It's not like he just confessed his undying love for you. It's not like he even likes you as _more that a friend_ , that he decided to take you out on Saturday because he likes you.

It's just John being John, there's absolutely nothing wrong about that. You just can't assume that John's real intentions have the slightest hint of romantic feelings for you. Because chances of that being true were about negative one... million.

No one would ever want to date you. Not even John 'I am technically the nicest person ever lived on Earth' Egbert, right?

Right?

_Right_.

God, you just don't fucking know.

You're flipping the fuck out.

You needed to take to Karkat about this.

\-- turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering carcinoGeneticist [CG] at 18:42 --

TG: karkat holy shit you do not have any idea what just fucking happened right now  
CG: WELL, OF COURSE NOT, YOU USELESS PAPERCLIP, I HAVEN'T GOTTEN A SINGLE CLUE NOR IDEA OF TODAY'S LATEST NEWS. CARE TO FILL ME IN, MY OH-SO-DEAREST FRIEND?   
CG: THAT'S THE REASON OF THIS WHOLE CONVERSATION NOW, ISN'T IT? TO INFORM ME OF WHAT IT IS, IN FACT, THAT HAD JUST FUCKING HAPPENED RIGHT NOW.   
CG: SPILL ME THE FILTHIEST LITTLE DETAILS OF THIS NEW PROFOUND GOSSIP, STRIDER. AND MAKE IT SNAPPY, I DON'T HAVE ALL DAY.   
TG: i think john just asked me out on a date  
CG: ...   
CG: ........   
CG: .............   
TG: oh my whats this  
TG: the infamous karkat 'i always got something to say for fuck off' vantas rendered speechless?   
CG: SHUT THE FUCK UP, STRIDER, THE NEWS WAS PRETTY HARD TO SINK IN.  
CG: BUT OH MY GIDDY FUCKING AUNT. IS THIS EVEN FOR REAL?   
TG: i guess  
CG: ...........................   
TG: seriously dude youre worrying me with all your dots there  
CG: HOLY SHIT, YES, I KNEW IT!   
CG: AHAHAAHAHAH NOW TEREZI OWES ME TWENTY BUCKS, I NEED TO PESTER HER AS SOON AS POSSIBLE.   
CG: SERIOUSLY, THIS IS THE BEST NEWS I'VE HAD ALL DAY.   
TG: please dont tell me that tz owes you money because the two of you made a bet on when john and i are finally gonna date  
CG: FINE BY ME, I'M NOT GONNA SAY ANYTHING, THEN.   
TG: i hate to break it to you but calm your tits because its not going to be like a date date or anything  
TG: its just a friendly platonic date  
TG: just some bros hanging out and having a good time  
CG: AWW, FUCK, SO IT'S NOT REALLY A LEGIT DATE? HOW DARE YOU FUCKING LEAD ME ON LIKE THIS?   
TG: youre the one jumping into conclusions dude  
TG: also i dont really know tbh  
TG: theres gonna movies popcorn and john treating me for lunch  
TG: you know those kinds of things they do in those cliche romcoms that youre obsessed with  
TG: but theres no hint of the romantic seasoning since well its not like this is some weird romance story now is it  
CG: I'VE GOT TO ARGUE WITH THAT, DAVE, I THINK YOUR UNDYING LOVE FOR EACH OTHER WOULD BE THE BEST LOVE STORY EVER TOLD.   
TG: fuck you man  
TG: i already told you that its going to be completely platonic  
CG: SURE IT IS.   
CG: I'M STILL TELLING TEREZI, THOUGH.   
TG: you really had to ruin the surprise for anything dont you  
CG: WHAT CAN I SAY? I SIMPLY CAN'T GET MY MOUTH SHUT FOR A GODDAMN SECOND. IT'S WHAT IM KNOWN FOR, I HAVE TO EMBRACE IT EVENTUALLY.   
TG: i dont care douchebag but dont tell terezi just yet  
TG: i cant have the two of you flipping out on me at the same time  
CG: TOO LATE, ALREADY PESTERED HER. SHE'S TOTALLY FUCKING FLIPPING OFF HER BALLS RIGHT NOW.   
TG: goddamn it  
TG: i hate you  
CG: YEAH, I LOVE YOU TOO, YOU BULGE-MUNCHING, NOOK-WHIFFING IDIOT.   
CG: OH, AND DAVE.   
TG: yeah  
CG: TEREZI AND I HAVE BEEN TALKING.   
CG: FOR THE PAST FEW MINUTES AND ONGOING, BECAUSE I JUST STARTED TALKING TO HER RIGHT NOW.   
CG: ALTHOUGH THAT THE FIRST DATE SEEMS PRETTY SKETCHY TO EVER DO THE DO. BUT AS YOUR NO-SO-LEGAL GUARDIANS, WE HAVE BOTH DECIDED THAT ALTHOUGH WE CAN'T REALLY STOP YOUR ADOLESCENT HORMONES IN URGING YOU TO ENGAGE THE HORIZONTAL TANGO, WE, YOUR PARENTS, ARE NEVERTHELESS ADVOCATING YOU AND JOHN TO THE WONDERS OF SAFE SEX.   
CG: IN OTHER WORDS, ***USE PROTECTION***.   
TG: oh my fucking god  
TG: no  
TG: just... no  
TG: karkat this needs to stop  
CG: THAT'S FUCKING 'MOTHER' FOR YOU, YOUNG MAN.   
TG: sure whatever mom  
TG: but we are NOT going as boyfriends or intimate partners or as a couple or whatever  
TG: how many times do i have to tell you that  
CG: TEREZI AND I WOULD PROBABLY HAVE TO SPEAK WITH EGBERT CONCERNING THIS 'DATE'. WE'RE GONNA HAVE TO SET A FEW RULES WHEN IT COMES TO DATING OUR ONLY SON.   
TG: i swear this is getting ridiculous with each passing minute  
CG: BEING PROTECTIVE OVER ONE'S BEST FRIEND IS NO RIDICULOUS MANNER, DAVE.   
CG: AND ALTHOUGH JOHN'S INTENTIONS MIGHT SEEM PRETTY GENUINE AND *OBVIOUS* (I SWEAR, WHY CAN'T YOU JUST FUCKING SEE IT), I WANT YOU TO BE CAREFUL.   
CG: AND ALSO HAVE FUN BECAUSE THAT'S ALL THAT WE AND TEREZI WOULD EVER WANT FOR YOU.   
TG: yeah yeah i get  
TG: you could refrain from being such a huge fucking sap now please otherwise id cry you a fucking ocean  
TG: but i guess im kinda grateful for you and terezi  
TG: the two of you are the greatest friends anyone could ever have  
TG: sooo thanks a lot  
CG: YOU'RE WELCOME, STRIDER.   
CG: SHIT, I GOTTA BAIL NOW. MY DAD'S CALLING ME, MAYBE TO BE A LAZY ASS AND MAKE ME RUN AN ERRAND. I THINK TEREZI MIGHT WANT TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT SOME THINGS.   
TG: please dont tell me itll be about safe sex  
TG: honest to god im going to flip my own shit if ill get that conversation from terezi out of all people  
CG: I CAN'T REALLY GUARANTEE YOUR SAFETY FROM ONE TEREZI PYROPE, I'M TERRIBLY SORRY ABOUT THAT. BUT I COULD GUARANTEE YOU ONE THING.  
CG: YOU AND JOHN WOULD MAKE A VERY LOVELY COUPLE.  
TG: god fucking damn it

\-- carcinoGeneticist [CG] ceased pestering turntechGodhead [TG] at 19:16 --

Ugh, you immediately took it back. You should _not_ have talked to Karkat about this, he had only just made things utterly worse.   
And now he's brought Terezi to this whole fiasco. As immediately as Karkat had stopped pestering you, a line of teal text has popped out on your computer window.

You merely let out a frustrated groan, you so do not want to deal with any of their shit any longer. You well knew that she'd just tease you about it too. Which would only leave you even more confused and frustrated about these feelings about John.

You're not sure whether you should be excited about this whole friendly date. You have a feeling that it's going to be a long day when Saturday comes.


	15. If The Moon Fell Down Tonight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _"Every time I see your smile it makes my heart beat fast,_   
>  _And though it's much too soon to tell I'm hoping this will last"_
> 
> * * *
> 
> Let John and Dave's totally 'platonic' date commence.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another sorta short chapter, but sheer amounts of fluff (I guess, I mean... I tried) for this much-awaited date. So I hope you guys have fun! :DD

"Hey, dad, can I borrow your car on Saturday?"

Your dad immediately shot up from the newspaper he's reading, surprised by the sudden request. Raising an eyebrow and cocking his side to the side, he asked. "What's the occasion, son?"

You fidgeted under his curious gaze, nervous as fuck. You knew that your dad might be fine with it, even if he needed the car to get to work on the day. But he'd be willing to lend you the car if it's important. What you're not sure was if your dad would think that taking Dave out to the mall would be important enough.

"Um, so I wanted to do something nice for my best bro, Dave. You know how our friendship has grown even bigger ever since we've first met each other at the church. And then I just thought that 'hey, why not take him out so that we could hang out and all that jazz'. So yeah, I'm taking Dave out on Saturday to the mall."

Curiosity was still etched on your father's face when he finally answered. "So, you and Dave are going on a date?"

"Umm... Well, it's not a legit date. I mean - we're only going as friends... Yep, just friends, definitely just bros hang out and having fun. It's not like I like Dave as more than just friends or anything. But yeah I just wanted to make him happy by treating him on Saturday. And of course, you could say 'no', dad. I'm sure you'll be needing the car to go to work, but I kinda wanted to borrow the car so that it'll be easier to pick up Dave and -"

"John, stop," your dad interrupted, an amused smile playing its way on his lips. "Of course, I could lend you the car for that particular day. And it's perfectly fine for me if you like Dave as more than just a friend."

You felt heat creeping on your cheeks with his words. God, this was just so embarrassing, but you think there's no choice in hiding it any longer. "So you're not angry or disappointed at me liking not only girls but also boys?"

He frowned at that. "And why would I be disappointed at you?"

"Well, dad, it's not every day that you would see two boys liking and kissing each other and all the stuff."

"John, I can't stop you from liking someone in spite their gender now, can I? It's your own feelings, why should I hindrance them if liking someone would be something that would make you happy? And besides, I already knew you liked him, it's not like there's anything I could do about it."

"W - wait, _what_?!" you sputtered out. "I don't- Dad, that's not... How do you even know?"

You dad just burst out laughing at your spewing. "Son, it's exceedingly obvious that you're infatuated with young Dave. You're not exactly the secretive type of guy when it comes to your feelings. I could see the way you look at him, at how touchy-feely you are around him, at how much happier you are with him. It's not that surprising that you would want to go a date with him sooner or later."

"Oh my god," you buried your face in your hands. It's probably bright red as a tomato for all the embarrassment on how things were turning out to be. "Fuck, this was just so weird."

Your dad let out a disapproving 'tsk'. "Language."

"Dad, I'm seventeen, I could cuss all I want."

You saw him rolling his eyes half-heartedly at you. "But seriously, if he makes you happy, then I who am to judge and 'be disappointed' at that? No matter what you decide, I'd have to respect and support that, it's your life, not mine. So now tell me, are you now going to ask for money to use on your date?"

Damn, he got clued in pretty fast. You grinned sheepishly at him as you raise your head to look at him again. "Umm... yes? It's alright if you don't, though, I've saved enough money on my own for this. But I was wondering if I could use a little extra just in case."

He sighed, muttering out an 'okay, how much will you need?'. You answered with the proper amount that you may just need, not too much, not too less. After that, he reaches up to you to give you a ruffle on the head.

He used to do that a lot when you're a kid, no wait, scratch that, he _still_ does that even though you're a few inches taller that him now. It's rather mortifying, even though only the two of you were around so you grumbled at him as he does that. He chuckled in return.

Then he pulled you into a warm hug, it's not a while before you let yourself melt into it, hugging him back. It's known for your family to be physically affectionate. When your mom was still around, even more so back then.

You know that there weren't much people with this much caring parents as you do. Some children and teenagers were grown with discipline, order, and control; not freedom, support, and respect for their own decisions. Some people were grown with neglect from their parents, some with too much judgment, some with abuse. Some people even grow _without_ parents.

That's why you savor each affection that your dad always give to you, even sometimes it'd get pretty humiliating. But that's alright because you knew well enough that your father was one of a kind, and that you're lucky to have him. And you wouldn't change that for the world.

"Thanks, dad," you muttered in the embrace.

"You're welcome, son," he replied. "I'm so, _so_ proud of you."

* * *

_'Okay, John, be cool.'_ you thought to yourself as you stood there in front of the door of the Peixes residences. _'You can do this. After Dave goes out from that door, both of you will be proceeding to your date. Everything will be perfectly_ fine _.'_

You knocked at the front door, wasting no time and swallowing the forming lump in your throat. God fucking damn it, you're just so fucking nervous right now.

You and Dave were going on a date.

A 'friendly' date. With just the two of you. Alone.

What could go wrong?

Haha, right, _everything_ could go wrong.

Snapping away at your thoughts, you noticed the door opening, revealing one good-looking Dave Strider at the doorway. You supposed you could just faint just then and there as you saw him. His pale blond hair perfectly swept to the side, his shades ever so present, and his freckles, cute as usual. He was currently wearing a red polo shirt with long sleeves, a pair of red converse, and skinny jeans that show off his greatly-toned legs.

He was just so... _him_ right now, all naturally attractive and handsome without even trying hard enough.

God, you're just so gay for him.

But of course, you can't let that to ruin your whole date. This was a date for platonic bros just hanging out. For the sake of not weirding and freaking Dave out, you've got to be all 'no homo' for the next few hours.

"You look amazing today," you suddenly blurted out.

Haha, well, so much for 'no homo'.

There's look on Dave's face that showed honest surprise. His eyebrows shooting up from his shades. Then he laughs softly, though his face somewhat pink. "Umm, thanks? You look quite stunning yourself."

He seemed to be studying you too. Though you can't compare your looks for today to Dave, he was surely more nice-looking today. You were just wearing some gray tank top under a blue jacket, then some cargo pants and blue sneakers. You didn't even bother to style your mop of raven hair for this day, it was just too damn untamable.

After that, the two of you immediately rushed inside you dad's car. You hear Dave letting a low whistle as he entered and sat on the shotgun. "I can't believe your dad let you borrow his car, I can't even believe that you could even drive. I still don't know how to drive."

"My dad taught me when I turned sixteen. I can't believe your foster mother didn't give you a hard time for this date," you replied.

Dave only shrugged. "There was a tripling of chores. And about two hours of sermon because she didn't believe that we're only going as friends and not as a couple. But other than that, everything was cool."

You kinda felt your face flush with heat when you heard the word 'couple' because even Dave's evil foster mom thought of that. It was so weird, now that you think of it, everybody just seemed to assume that you two were together. Which you totally _weren't_.

"So," you grinned at him, deciding to change the subject before you could embarrass yourself any longer. "You ready for this?"

He gave you a determined smirk in return. "Hell yeah, I was born ready."

* * *

"That was no doubt, the shittiest romcom I have ever watched," you muttered once you've exited the cinema. You found a garbage can near the door and you frustratingly dumped the empty tub of cheese popcorn that you and Dave had shared.

Throughout the movie, there wasn't much talking between the two of you. Mainly because you're a movie enthusiast and you wanted to pay attention to the ongoing plot. Unlike Dave, who only seemed to pick that movie to make fun of it. Since Dave wanted to save as much as money as you can, you both decided to just buy the largest size of the popcorn tubs and that you'd just share.

And since you're sharing, there was the occasional hand brushing.

The first time your hands brushed each other, it was an almost too accidental. Yet you instantly went rigid as a post, much to your chagrin. Dave didn't seem to mind too much, not that you're aware of. Meanwhile you just kinda freaked out on the inside whenever that happened. 

You tried to ignore the growing feeling on your chest as much as you can and returned to watching the movie. But then it just. Kept. Happening.

Halfway through the movie, you just stopped eating popcorn and gave the rest to Dave, much to his confusion. You excused yourself that you weren't feeling so hungry anymore and that you were just being extra generous. And besides, it would make you focus more on the show instead of the cute blond beside you, right?

Right?

Wrong.

The movie sucks, you decided about three-fourths to it. So after that, you instead paid more attention to your 'date' for the rest it.

"Oh my, what's this?" Dave said, replying to your previous comment. "John 'I'm pretty much down with any movie' Egbert not liking the movie we just watched?"

You only let out a frustrated groan, glaring at him slightly. "Don't get me wrong, I still like a shit ton of movies of all genres. But that one thing... It was just so fucking terrible. Ugh, now I completely regret on letting you choose. Why did you even choose _that_ out of all the available movies? God, my money was fucking wasted on a horrible romantic comedy."

In reply, Dave chuckled. "That's what you get for being too nice to me, Egbert."

"But I thought you didn't want for me to waste my money on you?" you pouted.

"I did, but Karkat told me to watch that particular movie as soon as I can so that he could have someone to rant to about it. That's why I chose it. See, I wasn't wasting your money, I was just being a good friend to Karkat," he grinned cheekily.

You half-heartedly punched him in the shoulder, careful that you might brush at his still healing wounds.

"And you don't want to be a good friend to me by not spending my money on such idiot romcoms?"

Pursing his lips, the blond answered. "John, there's still a whole lot of things that I could do on this date that would be considered as me being a good friend."

"Yeah, yeah, sure whatever. Where do you want to go next?"

"I dunno, you said something about that diner on the first floor?"

A grinned played its way on your lips. "Yeah, it's a taco joint. So, lunch it is then."

About fifteen minutes later, the two of you had settled on a table at the far corner of said taco joint. You, being the gentleman you were, lead Dave to his chair with a hand by the bottom of his back. You adjust the seat for him, then urged to him sit down. "After you?" you smiled.

Dave scoffed, rolling his eyes behind his shades. Still, you don't fail to notice the soft blush appearing on his face. "You are such a fucking sap, I swear. Way to make a guy swoon, Egbert."

You chuckled, shrugging aimlessly. "Well, what can I say? I did tell you I'll do something nice for you, and pulling your chair for you is still a part of the package."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever you fucking dork, just take your damn seat. I wouldn't want my date to get tired of standing because of me."

To be honest, your heart fluttered a bit when the blond slipped up and called you 'his date'. But of course, Dave was just probably joking or something. So you immediately dismissed any more thoughts.

After a few seconds, you saw a waitress coming up towards your table. Her expression was unreadable. For some reason, you can't help but feel a little uncomfortable. She reached your table, she gave you a look of what seemed to... disgust?

Fuck, you don't need this.

"We don't serve gays," she said, voice tight and laced with utter abhorrence. Like she cared more about not serving the two of you rather than earning money serving you lunch. In front of you, you saw Dave going tense at her words.

"What?" you frowned at her.

You hear her letting out an annoyed sigh. "You heard me," she muttered. "We don't serve people like you."

You narrowed your eyes at her, feeling anger pulsing through your veins. "People like us?"

"Yes," the waitress snapped. "People who're immoral, disgusting, animalistic. People who're going to _hell_ , people like you."

You banged your hands on the table in anger, you caught sight of her taking a step backward in shock and alarm. By now, you've got the whole restaurant looking at you, all customers and staff alike, you found yourself not giving a shit. You're just so fucking sick and tired of all this fucking hate and discrimination.

"Listen here, you little bi -"

"Don't worry, we're just leaving," Dave suddenly cut in. You then looked at him, confused, what the fuck was he saying?

"Dave, we can't just -" you tried again.

"No, John," Dave interrupted again, his voice insistent. "You heard the lady, they don't serve two guys who are just having fun and getting to know more about each other. She's just doing her job, it's in their moral principles, and apparently, 'liking someone' isn't one of them. But hey, who are we to judge them? We can't have our Almighty God who may or _may not_ even exist get angry at us even further, right?"

Much to the whole room's silence, Dave then proceeded to stand up from his seat, urging you to follow him. You stood up, still glaring daggers at the waitress, she merely replied with a sneer.

"Also," Dave then decided to continue, glancing at said waitress with a small smirk. "We don't need to eat in a place full of judgemental fucks. Have fun with your oh so mighty 'God' getting angry at ya'll."

The waitress then looked like she was about to lunge at Dave. But then she stood her ground, continuing to jeer at the two of you. Seconds later, you and Dave exited the restaurant, leaving the damn place quiet and dumbfounded at the small scene the two of you created.

As you followed Dave around the mall, you angrily fumed all the way as you kept hearing that stupid waitress' words over and over again in your head. It's not a while later before Dave spoke up again. "I'm sorry."

You stared at him, incredulous for what he had just said. How could he blame himself for this? Dave had absolutely _nothing_ to do with this. Those close-minded people were full of shit, Dave should be the last person to be apologizing for what happened.

"You don't need to apologize. If there's anyone who should be saying sorry, it's supposed to be me. I got angry and defensive easily, I caused the scene and the embarrassment. I was doing all the romantic-but-not-really-on-purpose gestures to you that might be the reason why the waitress noticed and got angry in the first place."

Dave bit his bottom lip. "But I knew you wanted to eat there, now you're probably banned from eating there from now on."

"It's okay, you're right when you said that we don't need to eat in a place filled with people who're like them. We could always just eat in another place. There are tons of other eating places in here who serve food that's just as tasty as that. Even better if they have more accepting and kinder staff."

The blond nodded in reply, smiling slightly. "That's true, the day is still young, there's still a whole lot of shit to do. And wasting time in dealing with a bunch of assholes is not one of them."

"So, any other ideas in where to eat lunch?" your usual grin returning to your lips.

You saw Dave shrug. "I'm always down in eating donuts and drinking coffee. So how about that cozy-looking cafe we passed by on the third floor by the cinema?"

"Okay, a coffee shop it is!" you exclaimed with a full-out grin, happy once again. He's right, there's no point in dealing with people who aren't worth dealing with any longer. The only thing that needed to be done now was move on and be optimistic. "Onto the next destination!"

"Pffft, you are such a fucking dork," Dave answered, earning a small laugh from him. And boy, did you want to _kiss_ this boy right then and there.


	16. Flares

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _"Did you see the sparks feel the hope? You are not alone,_   
>  _Cause someone's out there, sending out flares"_
> 
> * * *
> 
> Part two of the not-so-platonic date.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And so I upd8 when I'm one day late (buy hey, this chapter is one of those hella long ones). I'm so sorry for being late, even to those who commented on the previous chapter. I've been hella busy lately this week, a lot of shit happened. Don't worry, the next upd8 will still be on Saturdays (hopefully).
> 
> Also, I'm now gonna be honest with you, but this fic is rather close to its ending. I guess, about 2-3 more chapters then it's THE END for No Sweeter Innocence. I hope you guys enjoy the last few chapters :D

It's been roughly an hour since you and John had eaten lunch in a coffee shop at the mall for your 'friendly' date. You couldn't be more ecstatic.

You still can't kinda fathom how John could be ever this kind to you. Seriously, this was the very first time you've been ever treated out like this. One of the most expensive treats you've ever had before this was when your brother took you out for some ice cream because you aced your math test once. Your brother was never the wealthy man like the parents of other kids.

You felt kinda special, in a way. All your life, you've never thought that someone would take you out on a date, may it be platonic or not. John made you feel special, John let you know that someone cared deeply for you.

Sure, Karkat and Terezi also helped on that too. They've cared for you for so long and you could never be more grateful for that. But John... John was different. He made you feel a different kind of special, like you were someone that he actually loves. Love in a totally not in a platonic way.

Which was a rather silly word, now that you think of it, love. You've never expected that someone would love you like that. But then again, you're here with John.

Still, there's also another part of you, the rational part of you that made you second guess almost everything. Surely, John couldn't have feelings like that for someone like you. John could never want you, he could never ask for a fucked up person like you. He was just being very, _very_ nice, right?

Right?

By the time you exited the coffee shop (John even paid the bill, the motherfucker), you have no idea what's the real answer to your question.

It's weird.

But you chose not to dwell much on the topic anymore. So now you decided that you should be focusing more towards the particular blue-eyed dork you have as a date.

"So, where to next, chief?" you piped up as you walked through the steps on the tiled floor of the mall. Beside you, John flashed out an adorable grin towards your direction. God, you're just so fucking gay for him.

"Remember that last, secret part I told you about?"

"Okay, cool, what is it?"

"Well, I can't tell you now, can I? It's a surprise."

You snorted at him, amused by his antics. "Have I ever told you that you're the sappiest and most cliche motherfucker I've ever met?"

"Countless of times, actually," his grin widened. "But eh, I am known for my utterly sappy and cliche motives so might as well not break the reputation. Close your eyes."

Snickering, you rolled your eyes at him. "Really?"

"Really," he replied, tone serious. "I told you, it's a surprise. Now close 'em, I'll just lead the way."

You wanted to continue the conversation, make it longer by adding a sarcastic comment. But you guessed you didn't want to ruin stuff for John. After all, he's done so much nice things to you, the least you could do was to just go on with whatever shit he wishes you to do.

So you closed them and let John lead the way.

You jumped slightly as you felt a warm hand enveloped yours. Then your breath hitched when you felt John's other hand on your shoulder, wrapping his arm around your upper back. You felt your heart racing in your chest at the abrupt contact. Still, you kept your eyes shut despite not wanting too much physical contact. Your eyes remained closed because, well, you trusted him.

Then John just started walking, shit, you'd be lying if you said you didn't almost trip thrice along the way. You just kinda wobbled after him, you think you bumped into about four people.

But good thing John kept you close, because if he didn't, you think you might have collided into at least ten of them. And by god, John was just too fucking close to you, and he's so warm. He also minded of your still healing wounds, being the fucking gentleman he was.

About three minutes or so, it seemed that the two of you had reached your destination.

"You could open your eyes now."

And so you opened them.

Momentarily, your blurry eyesight adjusted to your surroundings. You saw John beaming happily beside you, then you looked at the shop in front of you that he had taken you. You found yourself gaping in surprise as you saw the merchandise from the glass windows.

It was a store for cameras.

Feeling a sudden lump in your throat, you croaked out. "John, you can't -"

"Yes, I can, Dave," John interceded, his voice filled with enthusiasm. As if he isn't going to spend a shit ton of money to buy a camera for _you_.

"This is too much," you shook your head with utmost fervor. "I get that you're nice. But seriously, you can't be _that_ nice."

"I told you that I'm saving money, didn't I?"

"But you can't just spend it all on a fucking camera," you protested.

"Uh, yeah I can." John insisted. "I told you I wanted to do something nice for you."

"I just - you can't... Are you even for real?!" you sputtered. John only chuckled in your outburst, you tried and glare at him from behind your shades in return.

"Yes, I'm for real. Now, shall we enter the store? I know you're pretty excited to buy a new camera. Consider it as an early birthday and Christmas gift. Only that of course, I'm still gonna give you something for your birthday and on Christmas."

"John, I - fine," you backpedaled, sighing out in frustration. Damn, he's never gonna back down, was he? "But we're buying a cheap one."

"Not if the camera as shitty quality." he mused, putting his index finger under his chin in mock thought.

"Goddamn it, Egbert. I swear I'm starting to doubt everything about this date. Suddenly, I'm thinking if this is all just a good dream, maybe even the best dream so far."

"Well, believe it or not, everything about this is real. Can we go inside now? I'm sure you'd be wanting to check some stuff." he finished with a bright smile. And god fucking damn it, you're starting to doubt everything about him too.

Because, wow, he's just too... _great_ for you.

Wasting no more time, you two went inside the shop. The salesman greeted the two of you with a warm, welcoming smile. "What can I do for you two?"

"Oh, the usual," John replied. "Just checking out some good-quality cameras for my friend here. Hit us with your best shot, mister."

"Of course," the guy said back. "Just look at on our newest product here, sir..."

Everything pretty much passed by with a blur. John did most of the talking since you can't do that yourself even if you're the one who's going to own the camera. But John understood that you don't do well with talking to people you don't know. So he just kinda took the job for that, to which you truly were grateful for... again.

He still asked for your opinion every now and then since you'll be the one using the camera. And since he's not that much of a camera nerd. You answered in curt and polite statements, yet still specifying out your preferences to which kind of camera you'd want to have.

About an hour later, you settled with a good and enhance camera that John had insisted on letting you choose. If you're going to be honest with yourself, you fell in love with it the moment you saw it and when the salesman explained to you its features.

If you're also going to be honest with yourself, you instantly had the doubt that John would ever buy it once the salesman said it's total price. It may not be the most expensive model, but it still had a great quality. The only problem was the price, especially if an average high school student would buy it.

If you're going to be honest with yourself for the third time, you looked at John as if he just committed a dozen of crimes after he said 'okay, we'll buy it'.

You guessed John never really was the 'average high school student' you thought he would be.

You tried protesting for the first few tries. Because there was no way that John was willing to spend that much money on a camera that's for you. You suggested another one that's cheaper and had lower quality, but still tolerable for you.

John merely shushed you and said. "I know you, Dave, I know that you like this camera the most. And I can't just half-ass the whole doing nice for you thing."

You swear, he's going to be the end of you.

The purchases were settled, the salesman explained to you some shit about the camera. The proper care for the camera, the gigabytes of memory it had, the charging and battery, and the one year warranty. You and John left the store with a huge grin plastered on his face, and your face gaping at what just happened.

You all but asked for the millionth time, 'why? Surely, no person could ever be _this_ nice, right?'

How could a guy named 'John Egbert' be so goddamn perfect and fucking exist at the same time?

"I can't believe you just fucking did that." you somehow blurted in the midst of your walking.

"Aaaaand here we go again with you doubting me," John pouted. "Why must you have so little faith in me?"

"It's not that I don't have any ounce of faith you, it's just that I can't..." you trailed off.

"Can't what?"

"I dunno, I just can't." you ended with an awkward shrug, you don't have any idea what to say.

John stared at you for about five seconds, but for you, it seemed to be for hours under his studying eyes. Then he piped up. "If it's not me who you're doubting, then the next person you're being so skeptic about must be yourself. You know you should stop that, thinking that you're not too good enough to have something nice done for you."

"Well, I can't really stop if it's true -"

"No, it's not," he cut you off, his tone lining with insistence. "No one is going to be 'not good enough' to deserve this kind of treatment."

You let out a dry, self-deprecating chuckle. "I dunno, man, I'm starting to think that the reason you're only being nice to me is that because you pity me so much."

The raven-haired's lips then twisted into a frown. Somehow, you kinda missed his kind smile within an instant. "Don't say that."

"Why wouldn't I? I mean - you've already done so much stuff to me, don't go on telling me that it all wasn't for pity. You're probably hella annoyed at me for being such a fuck up. But you're quite good at bearing with my shit and you'd feel bad for yourself if ever you'd leave me, so you don't."

"Dave, _stop_ it," John almost let out a growl that all but scared you. Nonetheless, you ignore your growing fear and resumed.

"Don't lie to me, Egbert. Terezi and Karkat might be even doing that too anyway ever since I became friends with them. I should know more because -"

"Just shut your fucking mouth, Dave!" John then snapped, his blue eyes glaring at you with frustration, leaving you speechless. "Look, I know that you've had it bad when your brother died, when the bullies first came, when your foster mother got custody with you. But will you just please fucking hear me out when I goddamn say to you that you're worth more than just a piece of fucking meat that only deserved abuse? Do you honestly think that the only thing worth giving to you, if not pain, is just some fucking pity? For the love of everything that is holy, do you even know how goddamn cool and interesting and talented you are? Dave, why can't you just see that the only thing you deserved most was just some love?"

If you're going to be perfectly honest with yourself, you have no idea what to say about that.

With your growing silence, he continued. "Did it ever crossed your mind that I talked to you the moment I heard you sing at that church, or the moment I saw you with those grocery bags, or when I actually gave this much an effort with this whole thing, it's because I actually liked you?"

You just kinda like stared at him in disbelief as soon as those words poured out of his mouth. When you spoke up in reply, your voice was somehow small and dry. "... as more than just a friend?"

John rolled his eyes. "Of course as more than just a friend, you idiot. This whole date was never really intended to be a platonic one, okay?"

You felt your cheeks flaring up with embarrassment and growing affection. This... was not exactly how you expected John's true intentions will be.

John liked you as more than just a friend, _you_ liked John as more than just a friend. So the feeling was rather mutual, and you're pretty damn terrified at the said notion.

"Oh," all of a sudden, words have failed you.

The blue-eyed man only sighed tiredly, you noticed that his face was purely red also. "Let's just go home, we don't have much to do here anymore anyway."

You nodded mutely, following him quietly to the parking lot and into the car. No more words were said between you and him for the rest of the trip. It's awkward and tense, yet none of you decided to start up another conversation. About fifteen minutes later, you reached the Peixes' residences.

"You know, you shouldn't have driven all the way here, you could've just left me on the bus stop." you mumbled before exiting the car.

Much to your surprise, John left the car too and soon started walking beside you towards the house. "I already told you," he said as his usual kind smile that always made your heart leap returned. "I'm not gonna half-ass this date."

He walked beside you all the way to the front door, just like he's been doing from the first day he started school here in Texas. The two of you walked by the porch, stopping in your tracks to look at each other. His blue eyes met with yours, the tension around you still building.

You have no idea what to say next. You decided that you could just mutter out a quick thank you or something then completely leave him there, hanging. Because you're too much of a coward to face your feelings anyway. Yep, that's right, a totally great way to deal with the problem in hand. Then you and John are just gonna return to being chill and being just as fucking friends by Monday. You won't tell Karkat and Terezi about John's little confession either because you knew well that they'd just embarrass you all the way.

You opened up your mouth to voice out your thanks for him.

But then John beat you to it by leaning forward to give you a kiss on your right cheek.

Wait.

What the actual fuck happened?

As soft lips met your pale skin, you instantly went as rigid as a fucking pole at the affectionate gesture. All of a sudden, your cheeks were burning, especially the spot where John's lips had landed on. You absolutely have no idea on what to do next.

He then leaned back again to his previous position. His eyes were now brimming with utmost fondness, yet you couldn't help but notice that his smile was a tad strained. As if he's nervous that you might react badly because of the move he just put up with you.

"I - um... What?" you stuttered out, body slightly shaking and head light headed because of the overwhelming contact of his lips. You can't help but wonder how would you be if John had kissed you on the lips instead. God, you think you might actually faint at that.

John raised a hand to scratch the back of his neck, he looked away from you, blush also now prominent in his cheeks. "I'm sorry, was it too much?" he voiced out in concern.

"It's fine, I promise," you replied with an almost inaudible voice. "Don't think too much about it, I swear. Thanks for the camera by the way, but I can't let Candace see it, so you'd have to take it home yourself. You could always just bring it at school for me if it's alright with you... or something."

"Oh, right, that's okay, I'm cool with that," he replied. You don't fail to hear the disappointment and hurt in his voice. Shit, this was becoming more and more awkward by the minute. "I'm so sorry, Dave."

"Stop apologizing, Egbert, that's the last thing that you need to be doing right now. But anyway, thank you."

He raised an eyebrow, "For what?"

You're tempted to roll your eyes, but you decided not to since it might only further ruin the mood. So instead, you reached out and pulled him into a hug. Not a little while later, he wrapped his arms around you too, returning the gesture. You rested your forehead by the crook of his collarbone, closing your eyes and leaning his warm touch. "For everything, I guess."

If only you could stay like this forever.

That rational part of you kept warning you again on how you and him could never be together. There's just too many stuff and too many people that were willing to just take that away from you. Two boys could never be meant for each other. You and John could never be meant for each other.

But then a more wishful part of you kept screaming, chanting in your head that there's never harm in having a little bit of hope.

So you stayed into the hug a little bit more, savoring the feeling, the _love_ he's giving so much to you. This love that you've been searching and wanting all along.

This love that only he could ever give.

More seconds passed, you and John eventually parted and returned to a normal, friendly distance with one another.

"I'll be going now, I guess I'll see you tomorrow at church. Goodbye, Dave," John announced, you only nodded in reply. Then, you saw him stepping away from the front porch and walking away from you. He went to his car before giving one last wave. You let out a small wave before watching him enter the car.

The car's engine revved up to life. Moments later, John took off, leaving you there alone by the front door alone. Somehow, you could still feel yourself blushing profusely like an awe-struck, anime school girl.

You decided to shake away any more growing thoughts about him and entered the house.

Much to your surprise, Candace was already there waiting for you.

Much to your un-surprise, her face was set into a mean scowl at you again.

"Whatever happened to 'just friends', David?" she gritted out, the venom in her voice almost sending chills down your spine. Fuck, you're now one hundred percent sure that you're fucking screwed.

"I dunno," you answered, hoping that your voice didn't sound too much on edge. "Still true as it'll ever be, I guess."

"Don't you dare fucking lie to me, young man, do you honestly think that I'm that fucking stupid? I saw that boy giving you kiss on the cheek through the peephole."

 _'Now that's just plain creepy.'_ was what you wanted to reply to her, but you bit back your tongue to stay as polite as possible. The last thing you'll ever need was her giving you a whole extra of beatings. You instead, you tried playing it off with a calm shrug and said, "It's just a friendly gesture."

"Boys who are just friends don't just give kisses to each other."

"Girls do it to each other every time, why can't it be the same with boys?" you remarked.

"Because it's not normal for two boys to just go kissing with each other." she insisted.

"And who are you to call the shots of what's normal or not?" you spat out, temper going off as each second pass. "It's not like we're hurting or causing trouble for anybody. It's only you who's making a huge goddamn deal about it when in reality, it really is _not_."

"I can't have my son to go to hell for liking some other boy." Candace bit back in disgust, you could almost laugh.

"And since when did you actually cared for your 'son'? Since when did you actually thought if I'm going to heaven or hell or maybe even fucking purgatory? And since when do you had the fucking _right_ to even tell me who am I supposed to like or not? The last time I checked, you're not my mother."

You could see her gritting her teeth at you irritably. "Maybe I am not your mother biologically, but I do what a mother's needed to do. I provide you your basic needs: food, clothing, shelter, even your iPhone that you teenagers love so much. They are adequate, what more do you want, you ungrateful son of a bitch?"

And there it goes, all the bliss, the happiness from the date with John, all of it, gone. You just... hate how she could fucking ruin things for you for just about five minutes. You knew better than to answer back and disrespect her. But you just can't help it, not when John's efforts of making you happy will go all to waste because of her.

"Oh, I dunno, maybe some actual support for what I want for my life? You're supposed to be family and you can't even bother to hand out a single ounce of love like a _real_ mother would fucking do. And you dare go out and call me your son? Face it, Candace, you fucking hate me all your might. But there's no worrying about that, the feeling is rather mutual. Now _fuck off_."

You were about to stomp past her and to just go lock yourself in your room again. Maybe forget about all this, forget about _her_ while you're at it. But when you're five steps up in the staircase, she pulled you by your leg, making you fall forward. Your forehead hit the edge of one of the stairs.

Before you could even regain your senses, she's already dragging you to the kitchen by the hair. You could feel blood seeping from your forehead, and damn did your head hurt like hell. She then yanked your head to the nearest wall with a force that made you dizzy.

You collapsed, your body meeting the hard floor. Your shades had fallen somewhere, you couldn't help but not give a shit if she sees your eyes anymore.

She kicked you it the stomach at the sight of your eyes, making you instinctively curl into a ball. "I will not."

Then she gave you another kick. "Have a fucking faggot."

Then another. "Who is going to hell."

Then another. "For a fucking son."

Then another. "In this household."

Then another. "Not when I'm still alive."

Then another. "Not when _you're_ still here."

By the time she's done, every part of your midsection. You're pretty damn sure that you've got some fractured ribs. So much for not wanting to send you to the E.R. "Do you fucking get me, boy?"

You tried getting up, going on all fours. "Fuck you," you spat out weakly.

Candace literally snarled at you. Then she proceeded to get something from the cupboards and... wait, is that a fucking frying pan?

She grabbed out one of your hands then dragged you on the floor, forcing your fingers to lay spread on the kitchen table. Then she raised the frying pan then brought it down again to your laid out fingers. _Hard_.

You let out a tight hiss, your fingers throbbing in pain and the aching need to get out of her strong grip. You tried prying away your fingers from her in instinct.

Then you saw that she's about to do it again.

The second blow was harder, more painful, you're just about to fucking plead for her to stop.

But then she did it again. And again. And again. And all you could do was to voice out your pain.

You're pretty damn sure that some of those fingers are not supposed to be bending that way.

Thank goodness, she stopped after the fifth blow. You honestly thought that she's finished beating you up and finally leave you. That was until she pulls out the sleeve of your polo, shit, she must've noticed. This revealed the still healing scars from last month, you noticed her narrowing her eyes in further disgust.

"Look at you," she almost screamed in a mocking tone. "So pathetic, fucking hurting yourself for whatever petty excuse you could give. I'm not even gonna ask why you did it, but whatever reason, you know you could always go to me and ask whatever it is you need. I am, after all, your mother."

She finally released your hand from her death grip, leaving you to let you cradle your broken hand, wincing upon doing so. She left you momentarily to get something from a kitchen drawer, only to go back and to grab a fistful of your hair. She pulled at your hair, forcing to look at her.

Your eyes locked at her dark, cruel ones. You almost didn't notice the kitchen knife her other hand was holding. She hovered it right on your cheek, pressing it with the right amount of pressure to cut just a little bit.

"You wanted to bleed, right? Don't worry, I'm your mother, I'll give you a proper reason to bleed."

And then the blade ran through deep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, yes... Totally enjoyed it, right? Haha.
> 
> I'm sorry.


	17. It's About Us

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _"Now it's about us,_   
>  _It's about us,_   
>  _And what we can do to keep each other alive"_
> 
> * * *
> 
> John finds about what Candace did on the last chapter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so flipping sorry that I'm late... again.

Welp.

At least everything went well.

When you first thought of kissing Dave, even only the tiniest peck on the cheek, you immediately opposed to the idea. But when you escorted him back to the front door of his house, you kinda just thought, 'Fuck it. I'm gonna kiss this dude'.

At least everything went well after it, Dave wasn't weirded out, he didn't flip his shit. He said it was _okay_.

Dave was okay with the small kiss and you couldn't be any happier.

It gave you a tiny twinge of hope, that maybe, juuust maybe, that Dave would be cool in having another date. Although this time, a more romantic one. And maybe, after two or three more dates, he'd be cool that the two of you would go steady. That he'd be cool in labeling him as your boyfriend and vice versa.

Shit, things were going so fucking _great_.

(Or so you thought.)

You eventually reached your house, entering it and welcoming the silence coming from the empty room. Since your dad won't be home 'til evening much later, you have the whole house to yourself. And since you had the whole house to yourself, your free to do whatever you want.

So you then started screaming in triumph.

"Woohoo!" you shouted, reverberating throughout the empty halls. "Fucking hell yes!"

And then you just kinda proceeded in doing the lamest impromptu victory dance you could ever choreograph. You couldn't give a shit if you almost tripped over your own feet twice, but hey, you're all alone in the house. Might as well embarrass yourself all the way.

 _'Dave had fun, Dave had fun, Dave had fun!'_ those exact words kept repeating in your head again and again like some crazy mantra as you continued in going ballistic. Because fuck yes, mission accomplished! Dave had fucking fun!

You got to see more of that nice, genuine smile of his and more of his earnest laugh that's filled with happiness. You got to see more of it, all because of you, and you're more than willing to make that happen again.

You're still kind of disappointed that he didn't bring home his brand new camera with him. But you guessed you could understand his own reason. You also wouldn't want all your money spent on it to go to flipping waste all because of Candace.

Geez, you just hope that she's not giving Dave a hard time right after you left him.

* * *

About two hours later, you decided to yourself, you stood rather very, _very_ wrong.

You were in your bedroom when you first heard it. You were fucking around with your computer, talking to Karkat and Terezi about how your date with Dave went (and for some weird reason, Dave's not online). They couldn't be more fangirl-y about it, gushing up and about on how you two were so meant for each other. The only thing you could do was to roll you eyes.

Then right in the middle of your conversation with Terezi and Karkat, that's when you heard the knock. At first, you thought it's just your imagination and that you're hearing things. But then came the second time which was much louder, more frantic, and more... desperate?

You first thought it was your dad, but that can't be, he's still at work, right? Or maybe it was just a neighbor? Or maybe some other person that you don't even know?

Mixed with confusion, worry, and caution, you hurried your way downstairs, getting a claw hammer along the way just in case. Guarding yourself with said hammer, you cautiously looked through the peephole.

It was Dave.

And he's bleeding, fuck.

Within an instant, you opened the door to see one beaten Dave Strider more clearly. He has several cuts and gashes on his face, arms, and legs, making blood pool everywhere. And his left hand, fuck, you might think that three fingers were broken. With his right hand, he's clutching at his ribs. His shades were nowhere to be found, making it easy for you to see his pained grimace.

He barely manages to step forward before collapsing right in front of you. You didn't even hesitate to drop the hammer right on the ground and catch him as he looses his bearings.

"Dave, what the actual _fuck_?" you hissed under your breath.

"You know what," he croaked out with a weak voice, almost clinging onto you for dear life.

You know the most rational idea was to stay calm and collected but you simply can't do that, not at this exact moment. Not when all you could think of was how you're going to fucking make. Her. Pay.

You could've just stormed right then and there to that bitch's house and beat the shit out of her. You could've given her a piece of your mind, give a taste of her own medicine. Hell, maybe even call the fucking police to just bring her down.

But then you focused more on the wounded and almost limp body wrapped around your arms. Right, you should focus on Dave first.

"I'm taking you to the hospital." you finally muttered, managing a steady voice.

"John, you don't have to -"

"Yes, I have to, Dave. Fuck, we are going to the hospital and get you patched up whether you like it or not. That bitch is lucky that I still have some self-control left within me." you replied, voice becoming darker and darker by the minute.

Dave didn't have a chance to reply to your statement because you hurriedly carried him (bridal style, much to your embarrassment. Good thing there weren't that many people outside anymore) towards the car. You settled him on the passenger seat, fastening his seatbelt before running down to the driver's seat. Wasting no time, you started the engine of the car and drove off towards the hospital.

Throughout the drive, you bombarded Dave with questions. Even though you well know that now was not the right time for such an interrogation.

"Why did she do it this time?" was what seemed to be your eleventh question.

"She saw you making your hella gay moves on me, man," he replied with a wry smirk. And by Jove, it's that self-deprecating smile again that you hate so much.

"Fuck, Dave, I'm sorry," you couldn't help but feel remorse.

You saw him shrugging as if getting his ass beaten was absolutely _nothing_. "Wasn't your fault, she was snooping around, and I got hella fucking moody with her shit."

"Does she knows that you went to our house?"

"Nah, as far as she knows, I locked myself in my room. Got out through the window, that was sorta hard... I guess."

"So wait, you just walked all the way to our house?"

"Basically," he mumbled, not meeting your gaze.

The rest of the trip was silent after that.

About ten more minutes later, you finally reached the hospital. You put one of his arms across your shoulders, supporting him as the two of you hurried your way towards the receptionist. People around the area were shocked as the of you entered. You immediately shouted out that this was very much an emergency. The staff immediately went to work as they saw Dave, hurriedly taking him to the Emergency Room.

You all but plead to every staff you saw to inform you of his condition as soon as possible. Because fuck, you need to know that Dave's going to be fucking fine.

You tried your best to believe Dave's words that you have nothing to do with how things had turned out to be. But shit, this was all _your_ fault. If it weren't for you proposing the date that made Candace suspicious, if it weren't you making romantic moves on him that confirmed said suspicions, Dave wouldn't be hurt right now.

And that's all that was running through your mind for each second you sat there in the waiting room.

To get these thoughts out of your head, you tried texting Karkat and Terezi about what had happened. They immediately called you to ask you further questions, all hysterical and panicking. You calmed them down, saying that you'll explain to them all the details later once they reached the hospital.

Then you called your dad to inform him on where you and Dave currently were. To your surprise, unlike the previous two, your dad didn't ask any further questions. His only answer was an 'okay, I'll be there as soon as I can'.

Just minutes later, your dad finally arrived at the hospital. He met up with you at the waiting room, a concerned glance making it's way on his facial features. He sat down on the chair next to you, giving you a reassuring smile before holding up his arms out in invitation.

You accepted said invitation and hugged your father, tight and almost too desperate. But you can't help it, Dave's hurt because of you.

You buried your face in the crook of his neck, letting the tears fall without any more restriction. You freed all the pent-up anger, frustration, sadness that you're now feeling. It's all your fault, stupid, stupid, _stupid_.

Much to your relief, you dad doesn't say any other word as you cried there like a five-year-old who lost his newly brought balloon. He'd give you the occasional back rubbing, then he'd shoosh you soothingly to calm you down.

The two of you stayed like that for who knows how long, and as much as you still needed the given comfort, you broke away from the hug. Although few people paid attention to you, you still felt a little self-conscious about crying in public.

You sniffed away the rest of your tears, wiping out the wetness on your cheek as much as possible. Your dad even helped by lending you his handkerchief. It's not a while later before he finally spoke up. "Care to tell me what precisely had happened?"

Taking a huge, deep breath, you tried to explain everything to him as thorough as possible. You mustered everything you had within you just not to break down into tears yet again. You told him about Dave, about Candace, everything. He was mostly silent, save for the occasional nod that he'd give as an understanding.

By the time you're done, the almost empty waiting room was quiet. The atmosphere around the two of you was thick and tense, and it was no way helping with what you're currently feeling right now. For some weird reason, your father's expression was damn unreadable. And to be honest, it's kinda freaking you out.

"Dad?" you finally asked, nervous.

You heard him let out a huge, tired sigh. Then he calmly said, "Ms. Peixes is going down, son, I could assure you that."

One cannot even fathom how relieved you instantly felt once you heard those words pour out of his lips. You let yourself draw into his warm, comforting embrace for the second time. "Thank you so much, dad," you whispered.

All your father could do was to nod in return. "It's the least I could do. Young David had done so much to make my son happy, I'm kindly returning the favor by making him happy too."

Another five minutes later, Karkat and Terezi soon arrived at the hospital. Both were red-faced and panting, as if they just ran a marathon. You attempted to greet them with a warm smile, but they only just shushed you, tired and worried scowls in their faces.

"I am so done with your bullshit, Egbert," Karkat seethed. "You tell me what the fuck happened to him right now or I swear, I'm going to kill that fucking bitch."

"We need the witness' testimony as soon as possible," Terezi grinned darkly, making her look like a total psycho. "Justice for Candace's actions needs to be served."

You don't really want to repeat the tale for the second time that time. Still, you still told them everything that just had recently happened.

Unlike your dad, the more and more you get into the story, the two looked like they're going to combust and go on a killing spree. Luckily, your dad was there to calm down the two before they could even do anything stupid.

"The best we could do in this situation is to wait and to not jump into any irrational actions," he explained, all calm and collected. "We can't have another crime committed here."

Then, a nurse then went inside the waiting room and called out the relatives for one Dave Strider. You immediately shot up from your seat, same with the other three. You then soon asked how he was doing. She only soothed you with a 'he's fine, don't worry' and let her lead all four of you to the room where the blond was.

You entered the room and you instantly saw Dave there, lying on a bed. He was wearing nothing but a short-sleeved hospital gown, revealing his bandaged arms.

Your dad was stopped by the doctor in charge. Karkat and Terezi paused in their tracks as well to listen to whatever concerns the doctor has for him. However, that didn't stop you from going straight to Dave's side. Once he noticed you approaching, he immediately turned his head away in shame, self-consciously tugging at his blankets to hide his arms.

It hurt, seeing him like this.

You grabbed a seat and sat just right next to his bed, filled with concern, regret, and guilt. "I'm so sorry, Dave."

Still looking away from you, Dave shook his head. "You don't need to say any of that, you have nothing to do with this."

"But it really is," you insisted, remorse lining away in your throaty voice. "I never should've -"

He suddenly cut you off. "Never should've what? Never should've taken me out on my first date? Never should've been nice to me the way Candace could never be to me? Never should've treated me like I'm a normal human being? Tell me exactly, John, what you might have done that would be counted as a reason that all of this is your fault."

"I - well..."

"Exactly. Stop goddamn beating yourself up too much, because honest to god, _none_ of this is your fault. _Stop apologizing_."

And then Dave turned his head to look at you, straight in the eyes. And if you're going to be honest with yourself, once blue eyes met with red ones, you could only imagine how you would want to look at them forever.

"Seriously, out of all the things you have done for me, saying you're sorry is the only thing I would never accept. Because you have no real reason to apologize in the first place anyway."

You're almost speechless, you decided to open your mouth yet no words can ever come out. You stayed like that, five to ten seconds, you're not really sure. But once you've managed to speak up, it went something like this, "A - are you doing okay?"

He let out an amused snort. "I'll live, Egdork, but I may not if you'll keep on asking hella stupid questions."

You can't help it, you felt instant relief at Dave's playful words, so you then gave out a small laugh as well. This was actually nice.

Dave was perfectly fine, and you swear to yourself that you'd do anything to keep it that way.

"I hate you so much," you said with no actual heat. "Promise me you'll never let me worry like that ever again."

"No promises, John, you know how I love the sense of danger so much," he shrugged with a small smirk.

In return, you pouted at him. "I can't believe you love danger more than me."

"So is this the part where both of you will confess your undying love for each other?" a new voice, Terezi's, interrupted all of a sudden. You looked away from the blond to glare at her, face burning in embarrassment.

"Don't egg them too much just yet, Terezi," Karkat piped in too. "I can't have you winning this round."

You heard Terezi groaning. "But you already won the first bet!"

"You're fucking making bets about us?" Dave abruptly asked, incredulous.

"Yes!" Terezi indulged him. "We actually made three, a bet on when one of you is gonna ask the other out, Karkat won that round. Another was when you're gonna say those three special words to each other. And lastly, the one about when you and him are gonna start fu -"

"Okay, that's _enough_ ," you butted in before she could even continue. Gosh, your face was no doubt so red right now, Dave probably was too.

Then suddenly, your father decided to join in. "But aren't you also gonna make a bet on when the two of them are going to marry?"

"Dad!" you indisputably shrieked and the whole room erupted with laughter.

Despite the currently mortifying conversation topic, you still somehow thought to yourself, everything was _perfect_.

And you wouldn't change it for the world.

* * *

Another hour passed as you're at the hospital. Your dad proceeded to call the police and tell them everything about Dave's abusive foster mother. The police said that they are going to arrest her as soon as possible and that there would be a trial. 

Just telling Dave about that, you already know that he's nervous about the whole taking-Candace-down-after-four-long-years-of-abuse plan. You can't blame him, though. For so many years of being silent and secretive of his foster mother's actions, no doubt that it'd make him uneasy to spill everything about her all at once.

He'd tell it to the police, to his lawyer, and most of all, to the people who're going to be present at the court trial. And all you could ever do was to support him all the way.

The next hours all passed by in a blur. Dave remained bed-ridden despite his insistence that he's now perfectly fine. Meanwhile, you stayed there right beside him. Even in the littlest of ways, Dave would do a lot of things to show you his gratitude for staying. 

Then one moment, the two of you were left alone in the room. Your dad headed out to fetch some food. While the two lovebirds headed out to talk to Terezi's mom, who was the 'best lawyer in town' as Terezi said, about Dave's case. The raven-haired girl was so set on pleading to her mother to do the case for free.

Dave was silent for a long time, you don't know for sure, but it's as if he was contemplating about something. You stared at him with a frown. "You alright?" you then questioned.

He shrugged his usual shrug, all awkward and tense. "More or less... I dunno."

"You know you could tell me anything, right?"

"Of course, I know that. I just - I dunno what happens next after all of this..." he trailed off.

"We're putting that horrible excuse for a human being to justice. She'll go to jail, that's what's gonna happen."

"I also know that. But what would happen to me? Will I land in yet another foster family? Maybe a god-fearing, homophobic one again? Will the cycle of this endless shifts from one family to another yet never finding love at all ever break?"

You chewed your bottom lip, nervous as you replied, "And what if it can?"

He looked at you weirdly. "What do you mean?"

"The cycle, what if it could break? What if you can move to a family _and_ find love?"

"John, you can't actually be saying..."

You gave him a soft smile. "I'm exactly saying it, Dave. What if you could finally find a perfect family that would take care of you properly unlike Candace? A perfect family that would actually give you support to your choices and to be there for you no matter what. Dave, what if _we_ could be your family?"

A handful of emotions were shown in his eyes, surprise, relief, doubt, guilt. Once he answered you, his voice came out tight and shaky. "I - John, I can't just do that. It's too much to ask of you, especially to your dad."

"I could talk to dad," you insisted. "I'm sure he's more than willing to permanently adopt you since we have more than enough to sustain your needs. I'm sure dad wouldn't mind having another person in the house. After all, things had gotten quite lonely after my mom died. Think about it, Dave, you wouldn't have a problem anymore in finding the right family. Most of all, you and I would be together, won't you want that?"

"But -"

"No more but's," you interjected. "If dad would agree on officially adopting you, you wouldn't have a choice. You can't run away from those who consider you important just because you think you're not good enough for them, or because you think that you're going to be a burden to them. Just - please, let us, let _me_ give you the all the love that you've always deserved."

By the time you're finished talking, you could see that his eyes were rimmed with tears that were waiting to be shed. But you could see that his eyes weren't filled with sadness, but happiness, _relief_.

"God, I think I love you," he choked out.

As soon as he said those words, you don't hesitate to reach out to cup his cheeks and pulled him into a kiss. Dave instantly froze at the gesture. But seconds later, he melted into your touch, kissing you back with equal fervor.

If you're going to be honest with yourself, the kiss was awkward and clumsy, given that it's Dave's first (yes, you remembered that) and that you haven't been kissed for a long time too. But between that, all you could think of was how perfect it was.

 _'I love you too'_.

Those exact words that were left unsaid, but was felt deeply within the gesture that's been long awaited. And you think, that's the only thing that ever matters.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, it seems that Terezi has won this round of her bets w/ Karkat AHAHAHAH
> 
> The next (and final) chapter will be an epilogue of sorts that would take place months after this. Candace is gone, the two bbs will forever be happy, and the 'Angst with a Happy Ending' tag is officially going to be used. You're welcome, people.


	18. A Drop In The Ocean

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _"It's like wishing for rain as I stand in the desert,_   
>  _But I'm holding you closer than most 'cause you are my heaven"_
> 
> * * *
> 
> An epilogue as this story finally comes off with a conclusion.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so first of all, I would very much like to apologize for my tardiness. I am completely aware that I am a week late, and I'm just so fucking sorry for not updating so soon. I was _very_ busy with school work and I didn't have enough time to work on this chapter last week despite its short length compared to the other chapters. I know I left a lot of you hanging for like a whole week, and yeah, I'm just so sorry.
> 
> But anyway, I just hope that you'd enjoy the final installment of 'No Sweeter Innocence', it's been one hell of a ride, and I'm grateful that many of you have stuck with it 'til the very end :)

It's been roughly six months since you've been finally free of your former foster mother's evil clutches, since John's dad had legally adopted you, and since you and John had shared your first kiss.

You couldn't be any happier that this.

Things had changed a _lot_ ever since then. Candace officially went into her trial after the arrest. A lot of people were first skeptical of the accusations raised against her, given that she was always so 'kind' and 'sweet' to others. Apparently, none of them would've expected it.

But the moment you admitted to almost half of the town the cruel things she has done to you on the hearing, all of them had become angry. Some few still hadn't believed you and thought that you were just seeking out attention. Especially Candace's lawyer who's head on that everything you're saying was false and untrue.

Candace had a good lawyer, you must admit. Just like his client, he knows well how to push the right buttons that would set you off.

Then again, you'll also have to admit that you had a better lawyer. Terezi wasn't lying when she said that her mom was good. Because well, if she wasn't then you might not have won against her.

You won the case, Candace had been sentenced to jail for who knows how long, and you couldn't be any happier. Serves her right.

After that, you finally moved in with John and his dad. You now have their guest room as your official bedroom. Although you still sleep most nights on John's bed with him. John's dad might be the best parent ever. He never ceased to give you care and support that you've missed for about four years of your teenage years.

John was right, you finally have a family, and you're not gonna let that go just yet.

Your friendship with Karkat and Terezi was still going strong and unbreakable as it could ever be. All four of you (including John) were planning to move out to New York for college once you graduate senior year. You continue to help out each other, you're not just gonna let go of that either.

Then there's John, who was the best thing that has ever happened to you. Right after Candace was brought down and admitted to jail, about four months ago, John had asked you if it was alright to make the two of you official.

You couldn't say 'no', of course.

The two of you kept PDA into a minimal, but you're pretty damn sure that everyone in your school knows you're together. There's not a lot of people who minded or ignored it, you think because they're too scared to even mess with him and you. However, that doesn't stop you from noticing a few glares or sneers coming from your way.

On the brighter side, a handful of people still showed their support for the two of you being together. And by 'handful', meaning a quantity that you hadn't expected. Though there were more people who didn't like your relationship with John, but you're still surprised with how much people were willing to fight for you and John.

The two of you had somehow started a cause, they said, a cause for change. A cause where love would always prevail.

It's pretty damn cheesy in your opinion, but John was with it all the way, being the humongous dork he was. And of course, if John's with it, then you're pretty okay in going with it too.

Things have been great. Greater than you would never have thought or imagined. To be honest, you hadn't expected to meet a certain John Egbert that would change your life for the better.

With all those things said and done, you decided to whisk away from your thoughts of what has happened for the past months and focused on what's happening now.

Right now, you're at the cemetery to visit a long lost loved one.

"'Sup, bro," you muttered, fidgeting as you stepped forward in front of the gravestone. You took a good minute looking at it, no doubt it's his grave, the name 'Dirk Strider' was carved on it.

You don't remember when was the last time you visited him. By the time Candace got you under her custody, you've always been busy with the shit she makes you do every day. Then one time you asked her if you could visit your brother's grave.

_'Now who would want to waste time and visit a fucking dead person?'_ she once replied in distaste.

Right after that, you just kinda stopped trying altogether. You've wanted to visit him for a long, long time. Who would've thought that you'd be able to get this close to him again?

"So," you continued. "Things have changed a lot since you've been gone. It's weird... Like - _really_ weird. I had a couple of hard times adjusting to it at first, but everything's cool now. I was under the custody of a total psychopath for about four years, got harassed every day by some assholes in school. You know, the usual drama stuff you see on T.V."

It's weird that you're literally talking to someone who's already dead. What's even weirder was that it actually helps you loosen up a bit.

So you just carried on. "I got caught up in a rather dark moment back then. Use the occasional self-harming as a coping mechanism as John would've said. I know, it was a rather weak move, I mean - I should've fought stronger like you always told me to. But then I just can't take it anymore. Oh, and remember that camera that you gave me for my birthday? Yeah, I fucked that up too. It ended up getting smashed into bits and piece then thrown away, and there was nothing I could do about it. And _fucking shit_ , bro, I'm -"

You stopped in your tracks, trying to regain your breath. By the time you spoke again, your words involuntarily came out as a hollow whisper.

"I'm sorry."

You're not sure why you're apologizing, but you guessed it just feels like it. You need let those particular words out otherwise, you're seriously going to burst. _'I'm sorry for being too weak, I'm sorry for being not good enough, I'm sorry that I'm such a disappointment.'_

"Exactly how many times have you apologized to someone even though you had done nothing wrong to them?" a voice suddenly interrupts and you already knew who's it is within an instant.

You turned your head towards the source of the voice and you immediately saw John standing there. You haven't even felt him come by, you went ahead of him because he was stuck on parking duty. He's got a soft smile on his lips, his wonderful blue eyes were filled with sympathy.

Turning away from him, you ended up not answering his question.

John sighed, then you heard the slight sound of feet shuffling as he walks closer to you. Then you feel him pressed up on your side, your breath hitching as he grabbed your hand, squeezing it reassuringly.

"You know," he resumed with a gentle voice. "I'm sure he would've been very proud of you."

You found yourself shrugging at the almost silly notion. "I dunno, man, I can't find myself in that position to even think of what I may have done to make him proud."

"For years you've suffered different kinds of things that lately only some people would survive. You've gotten this far without giving up in the whole world, on us, on yourself. You still have hope within you, I'm sure that's worth being proud of."

"I never would've made it through if it weren't for you, also Karkat and Terezi, and mister Egbert. I could never have gotten out by myself..."

"Dave, you know there's nothing wrong with asking for some little help. There's absolutely nothing wrong with searching for a little bit of support or aid. Nobody deserves to live a lonely life, that's why I'm here. So that you wouldn't have to be alone any longer."

A few seconds passed, growing a deafening silence between the two of you. The heat of the sun blaring against your back. Despite the heat, you're still somehow relieved in your new choice in clothing. You don't usually wear long-sleeved tops anymore. Not that you've become proud of showing your old scars, but because there's no point in hiding them any longer.

After all, they're all in the past, you don't have to be so conscious about them. Though you'd still get some weird, or confused, or disgusted, or knowing stares about them, you knew well for the past six months that you shouldn't care about what others might think. Wearing short sleeves are way more convenient in this kind of weather in Texas anyway.

It's not a while before you answered John again. "Why?"

You could practically feel John's confused look. "What do you mean 'why'?"

This all had suddenly seemed so familiar. It's weird, how it seems only yesterday that you and John had first played that dumb game of his. That game where you exchanged questions to get to know each other. And then that one time when you asked him that exact same question, 'why'?

"Why me?" you replied, finally looking at him.

"Ah geez, where do I even begin?" you saw his blue eyes beam, playing it off with a small laugh. A laugh that's not mean or rude, just a laugh that expresses pure happiness or delight. "Well, let's see, you're super smart and clever. A little sarcastic and silly sometimes but deep inside very kind and generous. You're talented most of all, not to mentions pretty damn cute, hot, you name it. Shall I elaborate more?"

"That... sounds hard to believe."

And then his eyes shifted showed something different, something that's tinged with sadness. "I know it may be like that for you. And if only there's a way to make you love yourself the way I love you, I would've used it to let you see what I see in you. Because goddamn it, Dave, you're perfect to me, okay? And nothing's going to change that."

"But do you even wonder about heaven or hell? What if it is wrong, if it really is a sin? _What if_ we go to hell because of this? John, I can't have you suffering and going to hell because of me. You could never deserve that."

"And neither do you. Also, who said that it would be because of you? Though I guess it may somehow be your fault since you're pretty damn irresistible, but everything else is still on me. The blame's still mine to take because I chose to follow my feelings. But you know, we could never know..." he trailed off with a goofy smile, and by God, you just want to see it every single time you're with him. It was so innocent and sincere like it was perfectly fine for him to even go to hell. _If ever_.

"Aren't you even afraid?" you replied seriously.

"Well, are you?" he raised an eyebrow, tone as serious as yours.

You're kinda surprised with his tactic, nonetheless you still answer him honestly. "No, not really. Hardly even care, to be honest."

"See, so why bother asking the stupid questions? It's fine, we're not hurting anyone, we're not causing any trouble to the world. It's just you and me, together now and always."

With that, John then grabbed you by the shoulders to make you turn so that you're standing right in front of him. He soon leaned down to rest his forehead against yours, you could feel his warm breath meet with yours. You look at him straight in the eyes and all you could see was nothing but the truth as he mutters his next words.

"And I think that's the best heaven I could ever get."

You're not sure on who initiated it first, you guessed the two of you met halfway into a kiss. This kiss that wasn't really the first, but very much not the last. And you couldn't help but think to yourself: you couldn't be any happier than this.

* * *

Dear bro,

So I guess this is the first time I'm going to be writing to you. After I visited your grave, John suggested writing to you each month like he does with his dead mom since it'll be way easier than visiting. Soooo, here I am right now, wasting away this paper and ink, writing shit to you.

Uh, stuff has been pretty cool I guess... My friends, Karkat and Terezi, are still hella mean to me, but I guess that's how friends always work. And I guess you could say that I'm getting better with each passing day in opening up towards others. I'm starting to have more and more friends, and the bullying has eventually stopped. So there's that.

I'm also continuing to pursue my photography shit. I even decided to join the photojournalism club in school. And people are actually getting impressed of my work, who knew. I think John's working on his composing too, and sometimes I would help him with stuff since I used to mix music on my turntables. It's great bonding time with him, as cheesy as it may sound.

John's like the best boyfriend ever, there's no doubt in that. I could never have reached this far without him, I owe him a lot. And I swear to myself that I won't do anything that would hurt John. Because I sure as hell know you'd beat the shit outta me if I did. But don't worry, I won't let you down. I sure as hell won't let my boyfriend down. It's pretty fucking surreal if you ask me, but I guess I have no regrets with my recent life choices.

Because after all these years of hiding, now I could finally be what I really wanna be and it just feels so fucking great. For so many times at some points in the past, I've asked myself so much if I can love him. If I really can love John Egbert.

It took a while, but I guess now I'm sure with my answer: yes, yes I can.

Stay cool wherever you are right now,  
Your awesome-as-hell bro, Dave

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FIN
> 
> Woohoo, another multi-chapter fic done!!!! I'm just so fucking happy for how everything turned out to be, and I would just love to thank all of my dearest readers who have given me and this fic support. I never would've finished this fic without any of you, and I'm just super grateful for all the love that you've given me. And I just - LOTS OF LOVE TOO FOR YOU GUYS <333
> 
> Also, just some trivia: Just sharing, my initial plan on how this fic would end is John and Dave both dying. Dave dies first, John then commits suicide right after. But then I kinda thought to myself as I was planning out the story that, 'aw hell no, I think I don't want to be that kind of writer for this fic'. So after a few changes, there you have it, the fluffy, sappy, cheesy ending that readers are always dying for. I hope you people are grateful for that lmao.
> 
> Also, just some news: So I think I going to have a writing hiatus for about a whole month since I'm going to focus more on school work first. Ya'll won't be hearing much from me for a little while so there's that. But right after the hiatus, I think I'll be able to upd8 my DirkJake fic, 'Fix You' AND also I'm gonna post a new multi-chapter fic. And no, JohnDave fans, it's DaveKat so I'm sorry for that. But yes, JohnDave fans, I'm still planning on posting more JohnDave fics, though only one-shots but I guess it's still better than nothing soooo... yep.
> 
> That's all for today, love you all.  
> Peace out!


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